Why does it hurt so badly when you breakup with someone you love? It seems like many people contemplate suicide after a breakup, but the reality is that breakups are a part of life and you just have to accept it and move on. Younger people especially, seem to be more affected by breakups. Though when you lose the love of your life, it really hurts and can be hard to move on.
11 comments
11 comments
90% of first relationships end in breakups.
Don’t count on it young people accept it better. I can’t believe you said something that insensitive,
I’m old and I usually have a hard time with breakups too (old, but emotionally immature). I’m talking YEARS to get over it, usually. Supposedly because I have “abandonment issues.” My suicide attempts or desires are always breakup-related. There’s nothing like that pain of having your soul ripped out of you, when you are so very much in love with a person who decides they don’t want to know you anymore. People dismiss me with “you were happy before him, you’ll be happy again”… but I can’t go back to being that stupid person who wasn’t good enough, and I can’t be happy again when I’ll never have REAL happiness. Last time I lost the only person who’s ever accepted the worst thing about me (as far as making me unworthy of being loved by a decent person), and not only accepted it but LOVED me for it. I’ll never find that again and knowing that I STILL fucked things up somehow and made him leave is just too overwhelming. People like me shouldn’t be on this planet. We didn’t even make it to the tough times phase, everything was perfect and he still left, that’s how unlovable I am.
Sorry, that was more babbly and pitiful than it needed to be. Bottom line… yes, it fucking hurts, enough to drive people to do anything to stop it.
I know from personal experience that it hurts like hell when you love someone, but they don’t love you back. I just don’t understand why so many people become suicidal over a breakup?
I think it has something to do with the fact that its not just the hurt and rejection of finding out that the person you love doesn’t love you back, it’s that you question both your own ability to choose a partner, and your own attractiveness, lets face it, you’ve given this person everything of yourself and they’ve rejected it, and you, meaning that a) you’ve picked the wrong person to share your soul with, to bare everything to, to be completely vulnerable with, and they’ve dismissed it as nothing, and in dismissing you they make you believe that everything you’ve revealed about yourself is somehow wrong, or broken or damaged in some way and isn’t wanted, isn’t desirable – both of which are pretty hard questions and if you start having self doubt it eats away at you till there’s nothing left, and all you can believe is that you are completely unloveable, and will be alone for the rest of your life, therefore what’s the point of living it… Sorry, I hope that makes sense, i couldn’t think of the best way to describe what I meant!
That was meant to say:-
…dismissed it as nothing, and b) in dismissing….
It’s because young people don’t understand what love is, yet.
I was curious and looked your posts up. hope you dont mind. its nice to have someone here actually comment positive things.
Wondering if you’ve changed your stance on this now that your circumstances have changed?
SadBk- Hi, I don’t know who you are, but you just made me cry. Thanks. Genuinely. I’ve never thought of break up as having your soul ripped but your description hit home with me.
@fearban Aww. You’re welcome? Thanks for caring to comment. I wrote that comment before I even understood things about myself that I do now. …it’s still just as pathetically true, though.
I think some peoples love is stronger and deeper than others. I used to have this conflict of oppinions with my ex , I’d say ‘real love never dies’ and she’d say ‘love has to be nurtured or it does die’ .. considering she put me through WAY much more hell than I ever put her through and I still think about her every day really .. 5 years later .. while she, after just a few days of it really ending had her heart turn to stone on me .. I think my side of the argument was correct!
I’d like to be friends with her now really but last time I added her to msn she just laughed at me, So i don’t think I’ll bother.