I just cant explain it, I feel like I used to be so much more as a kid, so much better as a person. I used to like what I was, self respect and self trust were still real. I really hate who I have become, I used to think I was a diamond in the rough, now im deffinately not. Im still such a hipocrite. So much thought, I got my hands on a nice amount of great weed so ive just been stoned for 3 weeks now but hey, I figured out a method to keep from ever running out, so heres to being stoned for the rest of my days
2 comments
ive done that! and as a matter of fact i may very well end up doing that again and again- its nice to take a holiday from it all, but today i got to meet my counciller and her boss, this is what i get for telling her i want to take my own life in 11 years!…well he tells me that in order for therapy to work-the weed has to stop, and that as a heavey user its going to take years to comedown and level out…either way id like to offer a word of warning- if you do decide to give it a break- the first week is bad- i suffered more stupidness in that week than i did after a massive blunt! my brain was all over the place, i was super unmotivated and depressed- so much so that i figured it was always like this…but after a week or two it gets way better
from now on my theory is to try and minimise it becuase smoking every day just builds up your tolerance and it stops working…give yourself a break for a week or two and have a spliff-it will actually blow your mind away! totally amazing experience- unfortunatly for me anyway every day it just becomes normal… i say enjoy your numb while it lasts-you might not get to the root of the issue with the herb but its good to take a break-for lots of people it makes them worse but i know several who swear by it-again like everything moderation is key…lying in bed high all day is just not good for you-but chilling out in the evening with some good tunes and a nice joint is probably the only thing that lets me be happy at the moment.
You could earn that self respect back. All you have to do is ask yourself what type of person you want to be or what kind of person you’d look up to, and then start behaving the way that person would. I doubt constantly being stoned is gonna get your self respect back. But I know it’s not easy. I’m a hypocrite for writing this because I don’t respect myself anymore but I’m not trying to do anything about it either.