I’ve read that depression is based on self-loathing.
I’ve never experienced sober happiness the way others seem to. Â Looking back on my life, the parts that I think of as happiness are brief moments of relief from this always-present guilt that seems to hover over my head. Â When it briefly lifts once in awhile, that’s happiness to me. Â It makes me feel lonely too, and I wonder if others ever suffer from the same thing.
I wondered if I’ve been hating myself. Â It’s true that I don’t like myself, but “hate?” Â That seemed a little too harsh. Â Now I’ve been thinking about this for awhile, wondering if I’d catch myself feeling any self-hatred. Â And there’s been none, but I have noticed that all my life I’ve felt guilty for no apparent reason and to no one in particular.
And I wanted to ask anyone reading this:  do you feel guilty all the time?
3 comments
Im not sure if i feel guilty, maybe i do. And its likely i do most of the time, like if i did something wrong and need to make things better. But i sure dont hate myself! I do hate however almost all of whats around me…
Hey.
I think everyone has struggled with guilt at some point in their life. It is like this cloud that hangs over you, and sometimes when you feel you are getting back to normal again it is like something reminds you again that you should feel guilty, that you aren’t good enough. I struggled with it too, it made me so anxious and worried, of what people would think of me. But then I made a friend, who met me where I was and helped me, who knew I was messed up but loved me anyway. He told me that no matter what I had done, nothing could stop him from loving me. And the voices that told me I was no good, that I was worthless, that noone loved me eventually went away. I don’t know you personally, but I know this much, the friend that I made was called Jesus, and he loves you too. He wants to get to know you, and if you let him in, he can take all of the guilt you feel away. Just tell him you don’t want to feel like this anymore. I would love to get to know you, and chat with you. If you would like to chat then you can email me completely confidentially at.. there.is.more@hotmail.com
Keep Going 🙂
Guilt: yes, I have always felt guilty all the time, and depressed all my life. In therapy I traced it to guilt about being born, which had to do with other stressors within the family. Though i was being emotionally neglected, I took the burden on myself. Maybe it gave me a sense of control.