I ..I just dont know why do i keep doing this to myself? My cutting addiction was nearly nonexistent.And then ,it got worse.I dont know how or why.It just did and i havent seem to notice that. I now do that even when im fine.It became somthing i do unconsciously, mechanically.
I want it to stop.I want ME TO STOP DOING THAT TO MYSELF.
But i cant.
Every time I decide to throw away razors, I change my mind in the last second and save them.
Like i mentioned,i was good.I took it nearly to the end,all of my scars began to fade.
I destroyed everything.Im weak,weak person.I’m failure.
Only one cut,i said today,only one little cut .It was very far from one cut.Like 10.Or 20.I dont know.
I hate myself-i cut.And when i cut-i hate myself even more for being powerless to face with my problems.
So yeah.
4 comments
If you truly want to stop cutting, then you have to first throw out your razors and make a conscious decision and promise yourself that you will never cut yourself, ever again. I’ve made a conscious promise to myself that no matter how bad my life may get, I will never take my own life. And believe me, I have the firepower to do it.
Basically it’s all about the way you react to temptation. Every time you resist the temptation to cut, you’re building a new part of your personality, which doesn’t cut.
In time, it will just be routine.
If you yield to temptation, don’t think of it as “I’m back to square one”. Just accept that you yielded, and go back to resisting again.
If you cut 1 time out of 10 that you are tempted, you’ll still be strengthening that part of you that resists.
hey, and dave its not that simple, in relativity the body now needs the endorphine release, because it has gotten so used to it. for you to have stopped cutting for so long as made your body go slack on the chemical it once released all the time. i used to cut also, and there was a time that i quit cutting, and began all over again. its like a sober drunk, you’ll go over the tipping point. i no longer cut and sometimes i want to, but when i first quit the second time i would do little things like pierce my ear, or smoke a cig when ever i had the urge to cut, i would slowly cut back on the pain so i leveled myself out. maybe that would work for you?
is not like something you can just quit.I dont know,maybe im just deceiving myself with that ..i tried everything..like i said,i was off it for month.But it came again.And i just dont know what to do,what to think.So tired of everything.
thank you guys for reply,it really means a lot especially now,when im falling apart,its nice to know that someone is listening.