You batter the frays from the ties we severed when you said best friends means friends forever

I am completely without any hope right now, and I don’t know what to do. I just haven’t been on here for a couple months and I figured might as well let someone out there know, let it out even if its to a multitude of strangers. That’s fitting anyway, considering I am constantly feeling like I’m walking through life a ghost, and that no one can see me or hear me scream and I am honestly believing I really am crazy now. I miss my best friend, I miss how it was easy. And I keep beating myself up over it…. I just want to stop it all.