I feel no different from a dead person. Even though much of the things that happn to me are normal, my brain is not. I’m getting tired of trying to fight. That’s the least I could do for the people who care about me. Like today, I just feel empty and flat. I do normal things and react to situations like any other regular person would. But everythings feels so distant from me. It’s like I’m living but not feeling. It’s like I’m here but I’m not really here. Just like a dead person.
How long can I stay like this? If I die now, will I be forever alone in this dark world? It pains me when I realize that there isn’t a real escape from this mess. Dead or alive, it’ll always be with me. I’d just be forever miserable. But the thought of death doesn’t leave me still. If my disappearance from the world can make it a bit better for everyone, why not?
I just feel so selfish but I want to stop my future. I don’t want to live for tomorrow anymore. I want the pain and emptiness to go away. One of these days, I know I’d have to decide. I’d have to end this at one point. There’s no escaping this misery.
2 comments
Theres no escaping this moment-but,eventually,with the right kind of help,there could very well be an escape from your misery..Remember-its the moment(or series of seemingly,never-ending moments).Im glad you are thinking about the ones that love you.
Dead like me.
The dead don’t feel but is it possible you feel everything and feeling everything feel empty?
An observer always only observing their own life… judging, measuring…
If what you describe is the true nature of being dead why would you be seeking it out as a release?
Feeling if as dead there is nothing keeping you from being fearless and fearless experiencing the day instead of tomorrow or yesterday.