(Sorry if you don’t understand I’m from chile)Yesterday a close friend of mine told that she cuts only once because she want to know how it feels… She said to me that she was frustrated because she knew about my cuttings etc…
First I felt her as a sister she didn’t judge me she try to understand me but then I felt guilty because she is self harming her by nothing… By my fault
I told her to stop and she said that she will never do it again but I steel feeling bad :'(
IT’S MY FAULT
I CAN’T DO SOMETHING WITHOUT […]
March 2013
I am new here, but hopefully someone can give me their opinion, idea, advice…whatever. Â I am in remission from cancer, but who knows for how long. Â I have had so many surgeries and chemo that I just do not want to try and keep fighting again. Â I am all right now, but will want to have a suicide plan in place if it returns. Â I am over 50, but do not know how to do this. Â I wish Kovorkian was alive and it was legal for assisted suicide. Â Anything you can tell me about would be appreciated.
I was 16 when I first attempted suicide. It was getting late, around 5pm on a school day. I didn’t go to school that day either, I skipped school to hang out near a lake by myself. Yeah… “super fun”. “I hated school, I hated friends, I hated family, I hated myself, I hated life, and I wanted to die” was what I spent the entire morning and afternoon contemplating about. Life. Death. Would anybody really care if I was to “disappear” the next day? I lay there, near the lake’s edge and on some clean grass. I was staring at this tree’s colorful leafs […]
All my life I was bullied. I was called names, threatened, beat up, and almost molested. For once I just wanted to be happy again but I couldn’t be happy anymore because my past life has been haunting me. I scare myself with my own thoughts. I self-harm. I have a depressive disorder. My insecurities and thoughts are killing me. all I do is throw a fake smile and pretend nothing happened. I cry myself to sleep every night. I suffer everywhere. I never get to smile and mean it for the whole day. I tell people to stop cutting but yet I can never stop myself. I’m never good enough, […]
warning: contains mild cursing
social anxiety disorder really sucks. most of my symptoms have gone away over the past couple of years and i’m really grateful for that, but i still cannot live a normal life like seemingly almost all the people i know do. i’m also depressed, sort of. i know that if i didn’t have SAD at all that i wouldn’t let depression get to me. don’t get me wrong, i have friends and people i can talk to about things, but only serious things. unless i have something funny to say or i need to talk about something serious, i don’t really talk […]
I tend to feel dumb after seeing the psychiatrist.
“Recognize the areas in your life that are making you unhappy and CHANGE them.”
Sounds so simple. She has hope for me that comes from I don’t know where. (is it generic I-believe-in-everyone-who-pays-me hope?) I actually leave her office thinking maybe I CAN do something to get myself unstuck from this limbo.
Then I think about it. Can I sprinkle a little fairy dust on my insides and grow some self esteem? Can I make my ex wake up and decide he suddenly can’t live without me? No? Well then. […]
Well, my big date is tomorrow. I’ve been texting her all week after meeting on an online dating website and we’re finally going to meet in person. I’m driving down to her city tomorrow morning and we’ll be spending the day together doing various activities… (not what you’re thinking though). Hopefully things will work out this time and I won’t end up being the 40 year old virgin. 🙂
All my life, I’ve been utter crap.
I’ve been treated like crap in grade school for reasons I don’t even know. Then in middle school. About high school time, I started to think bad thoughts. I had held on for so long, kept myself strong for as long as I could, but I couldn’t fucking do it. My mom was killing herself by working to feed my brother, my sisters, and me. I got a job and worked most of the day after school to help, along with studying half the night. That resulted in me getting insomnia and sleeping problems, which led to anxiety and […]
Hey there… I am a 19 year-old female, these are my thoughts… need to get them out…
I want to talk or scream , but my vocal cords refuse.
I want to cry, but my eyes stay dry.
I want to run, but my legs won’t move.
It’s so frustrating. I want to be heard, but I am afraid of talking. Afraid of opening my mouth.
Afraid of rejection, Afraid of people.
I suck at being alone. But I suck at being with people.
I need them. I push them away.
I need to be heard
to be held
to be loved
maybe people love me, but this box I made… these walls… they are too […]
“But though you’re still with me, I’ve been alone all along.”
I’m a TI. That means I was chosen for torture by telepathic militant congress for experimentation and torture. There was gang stalking long ago, as well. I made some posts in another forum, and I thought I might copy and paste them over to this site.
February 2013
So it’s been 7 long years of EHOS for this target, and the only thing left within my capacity to do is end my life along with the perps’ fixation on me. Â There is nothing I can achieve that myself before EH manipulations would want. Â Not even slightly.
I walked with a duffel bag back and forth over a few […]
So I am weak
so I’m not strong!
so I can’t find,
a way to get along.
So I’m not fine
So I fake my smile!
So I’m not alright.
haven’t been for a while.
So i’m not the best.
So i’m not that good.
So i’m depressed.
So I’ll die like I should.
So I cut and bleed
So I don’t wanna breathe
So, I’m just me…
So…So what…
You tied my noose
and you loaded my gun
you bought me pills
and you pushed me off.
you lit the flame.
re-routed the train
pushed me off the bridge
you did all you did.
You […]
I am sure that I am ready to kill myself. It will be over before you know it. I’m giving myself a week. I am done. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of breathing. I’m tired of being. I’m tired of living. Most of all, I’m tired of being tired. This world doesn’t need me anymore. I JUST WANT TO DIE. I can’t cry anymore. They’ve ruined me. That is it.
Im happy for my mom its her birthday even though i been faking all day at least she is happy and doesnt wan to kill me today and she  seem to forget my mistake today and treating like her daughter and not as a stranger 🙂
I’ve never been one to reach out to others for help — especially not the online public — but f**k it, I’ve run out of options.
I am 33 years old and have struggled with suppressing the urge to kill myself all day every day since I was around 9 years old. I exercise every day, eat healthy, stay constantly active with work and recreational activities, volunteer my time whenever possible, have gone to therapy for years, and tried every SSRI and benzodiazepine on the market. No matter what, I cannot shake the idea that life itself is just an excess of time and effort with little to no […]
Why do things have to be complicated?
They tell us that they’re just challenges we should face.
But when? When does it all end? Does it even end?
Are we all fighting right now? Or am I the only one who thinks this way?
Is someone else bleeding? Are we all bleeding? I don’t understand,
Why? Why is life so complicated? One day you’re happy then the next day your whole life is falling apart.
Are all of us going through this or have you felt this way?
Yes we have different problems but we all suffer.
How do they tolerate the pain? How do they smile even there’s rain?
When raindrops fall my […]
The only heaven there is, is the one you get to experience for a limited amount of time in life, it usually involves someone else in your life, and the whole time you are in this heaven, experiencing the awesomeness of togetherness and nothing in the world matters but you and the other person. During that time you are creating the hell for yourself, because when that heaven is over and that person is gone, all is lost. There is no going back and the memories of laughter freedom and the truest of friendships will forever bring you the most pain and sadness lonesomeness one […]
I am on here all the time. Almost every day. I am becoming consumed by this feeling again. I had been happy last week. Confident for the first time for a whole week in years. But depression is forcing its way back into my heart. I try and shut the door in his face, but he is so strong. My whole self is tight because of this battle. I feel like my heart is being ripped in two. Tears are always in my eyes. My therapist says to try to just shut the door and try to not let it get inside my heart. But […]