I have a fear of people. I get tensed up and this causes me chronic pain. My doctor has me on benso but the does not help much. I really don’t know how long I can do this for. I hurt. This is really hard for me to do but we are all strangers so why not I was raped off and on for 7 years, at first I thought it was okay I was 5 when it started and I never told anyone because I can barley type it. Off of that subject. It’s so much more. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m 15 that I feel like there is no hope and want to die. I so alone. Not a single friend I just lay in bed all day and try to breathe. I hate having severe anxiety. I’m just scared of what’s next I don’t know. I’m a bad person I deserve all of this you don’t know me so please don’t say that I don’t. I guess growing up gets hard but I’m sure if I want to live. I feel selfish for these thoughts.
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3 comments
No one deserves what happened to you. I am 100% sure of that.
Look, you were really young when that happened and when bad things happen to children, they rationalise it by thinking its some kind of punishment for something they did wrong. Trust me, you didn’t do anything wrong. It was just an evil person taking advantage of a child.
I think it was really brave of you to talk about this and I hope maybe if you keep talking you might breathe a little easier
Yes that’s a tragic story, I agree with one_day you are very brave. I too suffer PTSD my nerves are shot and I look forward to an end to my personal suffering. I’m grateful you shared part of your story. And I hope we can help to provide a little support for you.
I’m only getting worse. Thank you guys though I’m just gonna try and until I can’t anymore.