i wanna die… no reason to be here

Well lets see, im 14 guy and iv been in depression for 3 years and it started when i realized how alone i was in my life (iv never really had friends) and iv always felt alone then i met this one girl in 6th grade, we started out as friends and stayed that way. i used to be a hater and hated the idea of love but then i started liking her but i was to afraid to admit it, so i kept it a secret for about more than 2 years. i liked her but iv never liked stuff about love but i told her i liked her (kinda weird since shes been my best friend for a long while) she is also been in severe depression too, well we got close and i started falling for her ALOT, and i found out shes LOVED me for 3 years, and i know i truley loved her after everything that happens next, well we get REALLY close then things get bumby and lots of breaks go by and she dates other guys but we were still friends. then all the sudden two months ago we get into fights and we start moving away. then things get better then it gets worse over and over again… then all the sudden i get a message one day her saying were not getting back together and that was a 3 weeks ago, now