So many words and feelings in my chest….it hurts to try and push them out. I feel so sick and volatile. I just wish I could scream at everyone around me and burst into a million useless pieces. I keep thinking you’re here, when you’re gone into a forever I’m not capable of really knowing. I wish I could forget, and wash away with the roadkill.
I want to escape this pain so bad, all of this darkness that overwhelms me. I wish I could be free from these chains of regret, remorse, major depression, and saturated loneliness. I can’t commit suicide, which hurts even worse. My family would grieve so much. I could never do that to them. God….please give me an escape from this world, from Jamie Lea. Let me bed something else for just a little while. I need to cry. There has to be a release somewhere. I am getting rid of all the Prozac in my room. I don’t want to take that shit anymore. I’m pretty sure it’s fucking me up even more so.
Im going to walk off the face of the earth now.
1 comment
There is a significant effect of your family upon yourself. I know it’s currently the only thing holding you alive, but you should never expect to push yourself too hard all the time because of your family’s expectations. The current phase you are living through now is tough, yes. Sometimes you’re blinded by your own tears and can’t see the world in front of you. Life is such a beautiful thing, you should never treat it like that, nor allow yourself to take it away from yourself. Things can go better. Surpass the hate, hide the tears, conquer your feelings with a will to live! You musn’t give up. Death has given this world so many bad experiences and memories, and the way it tangles with life in our everyday activities… You should not give up. Learn to live, love what you have been given as a blessing, there is a reason you live, just like everyone. It seems pointless, doesn’t it? And the blind encouragement I’m providing you now. But after every bad experience, a good one follows. How bad would I regret if I had taken away my life two years ago, and so many good (and bad as well) experiences have I lived through since this day. Do not give up. That should never be an option.