something different

always yelling always talking about me like I’m not there. My dad died when i was eight he was the only one of a family of six that i loved. Once he went suicidal and left me all alone i don’t know what to do. My mom has become a different person and is always complaining about everything i do. She does not understand that i try to do everything I can do right. I make good grades I try to be happy and i give advice to others. Sometimes when i ask for advice or when i need comfort. Nobody is there to give me any or to even giving me a second thought. For a while i question  why i keep going on from the minute i get home from school to the minute i am asleep i hear her voice yelling my name ordering me around like a dog. In the family i don’t feel loved i feel like an outsider someone different. Everyone in the family get in groups late at night and talk about me. It is even worse when she is even more mad. I can’t express emotions and i can’t show excitement at all. I can’t talk to someone so it has for many years just building up inside and i can’t let go.  I don’t know what to do anymore i don’t know who are my friends and who i can talk to everyone seems to go against me and hate me. i don’t know I’m so confused  on what to do.