I feel like taking a boat from dover to calais and halfway jumping of late at night i know its a sure way to go and i wont be able to turn back or i can get some scuba diving equipment and swim out to sea then maybe take some drug that will put me right to sleep so i dont wake up. I once bought a charcoal grill and was gonna put that in a van but dont think that will work. I dont mind teaming up with someone or if someone can supply me with some drugs that will poison me.
I do like […]
always yelling always talking about me like I’m not there. My dad died when i was eight he was the only one of a family of six that i loved. Once he went suicidal and left me all alone i don’t know what to do. My mom has become a different person and is always complaining about everything i do. She does not understand that i try to do everything I can do right. I make good grades I try to be happy and i give advice to others. Sometimes when i ask for advice or when i need comfort. Nobody is there to give […]
All my parents do is make me feel like im not good enough. im sorry i cant be their perfect child. It’s hard trying to keep them happy.
My friends have all became distant. I sit alone on the bus and at lunch. None of them understand. I’ve tried telling them but they dont help. Only i can help myself, i understand that. but i dont know how. im lost.
I told my boyfriend my whole story once. the reason i started cutting. why im suicidal. why im always crying when he calls me late at night. I told him all of my secrets. He made me […]
Let us take a walk, follow me to the edge of this building. The climb up here
was very tough wasn’t it? Did you say a hundred flights to the top? I guess the
elevator is still out of order than? I have been up here for a long time. I’ve
been looking down at this city. Don’t worry we can’t fall off from this ledge.
I’ve fallen enough times in my life, once more wouldn’t be so bad anyway. I
didn’t mean to trouble you my friend. Are you cold? It can be chilly out here
exposed to the world. Here take my coat. […]
It seems that ever since I found out that my only love is expecting a child i’ve changed.
It was as if my heart had been poisoned..I thought it would surely kill me at first, the first week and a half that I spent crying, moaning, and begging for my life to be ended.
I’d even go out for walks late at night and hope someone would cause me harm. Kill me and leave my body in the gator infested swamps that someone or something may stand to gain from my life.
Pain so deep that it turned my heart black and my blood like tar. […]
I’ve been silently suffering for a while now. I have had thoughts about killing myself several times, but they mostly hit late at night, which is when i feel most alone. I’ve pushed everyone in my life out and i’ve secluded myself from a lot, but not on purpose, it just kind of happened. I’ve lost a lot of people, and i feel like if i just did it and wasn’t such a coward i’d be in a much better place. I’m afraid of doing it because i don’t know what happens next, but i’m sure whatever happens next after that, is a lot better […]
I look at your twitter; the old tweets you tweeted.
I know Your favorite things.
From Your favorite baseball team, to Your favorite meal.
Babe Your voice, still it rings.
I know what You say
I know how You feel.
Boy there is no way that You and I can’t be
we’re so close to perfect for eachother..
Yes We had our problems..
but everytime We fixed it
Things got even better!
I know everything about You
Where You want to live, the name of Your first born son.
If only she knew
About the days that you almost ran.
Sweetheart, can’t You see?
You and I are meant to be.
The puppy You’ll get, the life you plan to leave.
You saved […]
It’s been quite a long time since I’ve been on here,
Life still continues to pass me by. I met a girl who I have been involved with for around 9 months now.
I have learnt a lot about her.. Heck I even love her. I didn’t think I would meet anyone again at least not after the relationship I was in prior..
She’s changed from the girl I originally met back in December. She isn’t the girl I fell in love with..
She dismisses my feelings like they are just disposable. She’s sent my heart into a deep abyss, of darkness, anger and hate.
I have so much uncertainty […]
Living is suffering for me. I know some would say that I should feel like I have a great life. But they are only saying that because of my material objects.
They don’t know that I stay up late at night, crying because I have to hide so much of myself. My family is Christians, and they make fun of gays. It’s so hard due to the fact that I am a bisexual atheist. And it’s not like I have the courage to just tell them.
I don’t know exactly how long I’ve been depressed, but I noticed some notes of mine dating back to […]
While I write this i fear of the pain i will cause with this simple action,
But i will confess the true. I have been trying to kill myself for a few
months now. I was learning electrons to make my own defibrillator and will be able to fine all my research under Research on Defibrillations. (Tomboy notes) After a month or two upon finding out that this will not work, I tried to overdose on aspirin. When i didn’t die i did some more research and found out that the mortality rate for an aspirin overdose of more than 300 mg/kg is less than […]
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