Sometimes/ most times it’s the littlest things that send me into a spiral. Today I thought I’d lost my wallet. I was at work over 50 miles from home and it was gone. At first I was calm retracing my steps then as I got closer and closer to not being able to find it in any of the locations I was at after I knew I had them last, it was like BOOM! Full on panic attack and spiral to why am I here, I hate being so miserable all the time, I just want to die. The dark place just swallowed me up. What I want to know is, why is it I can seemly handle all the big life decisions and curve balls but when it comes to the little day to day stuff I fall apart? Am I just making mountains out of molehills or is this common? Supposedly it’s the little things that make life memorable and I don’t want to remember my life as a series of one shot panic and despair. I really, truly want to be happy and yet I just can’t seem to get there. It always seems like obstacle after obstacle with no relief in sight, no gold cup shining at the end, just me struggling over the hurdles.  I feel really discouraged today, like I had a set back and I’m never going to get better.
2 comments
“Don’t sweat the small stuff” is one of the best cliched pieces of advice in life you can cling to. The usual addendum to that is “And it’s all Small Stuff”. Because it’s really true. If something small happens like that, let it piss you off for a moment, say “fuck it” and move on.
If you find yourself falling into the well from some annoyance, for some people, it helps to completely remove themselves and do something crazy sounding like put on a song you like and sing it really loud and maybe dance to it. Or force yourself to do a pushup or two.
Mostly what can help, is to develop a breathing regimen when this crap happens. Think of the problem at hand as you intake a deeeeep breath. Hold it. And when you exhale in a sighing way, let that problem go and give it not a single thought more. You’ll deal with it one way or another. Fuck it.
Thanks for the advice 🙂 I’ll try that, but sometimes I swear I can’t think straight when these things happen.