Grandmother.

Lamenting silently in my room. Had a serious mood swing. One moment I was happy and at ease and the next I just wanted to curl up in a corner and cry. My brother says that it isn’t okay to cry. Is that true? Is it bad to cry? I’m pressing charges on my friends’ cousins’ for sexual harassment. I didn’t do anything to them. In fact, I never ever spoke to them before. My grandmother won’t talk to me. She waited to tell me that supper was done after it got cold. Yeah, she really loves me huh? In a way I don’t blame her. I walk dressed all in black, cuts on my arm, completely anti-social, so I can understand why she hates me. But it seems that when I stopped playing sports and began to chase after music, she stopped caring for me. She doesn’t do anything for me anymore. One time she noticed I was crying in my room, and demanded I tell her why I was. I didn’t want to tell her why, because she was being mean about it. “Tell me why you’re crying! I’m asking you a question! Answer me!” Then she got mad at me because I got scared. She neglected me and pushed me around, told me I had no life before, and wonders why I don’t make contact with anyone any more? I’ll be moving soon, so I won’t have to worry about her. But just the way she is! I hate her with a passion. She’s only nice to me when she wants something out of me, and it’s not right. Then she demands respect out of me. I tried to respect her before, but she won’t respect me. So she has no right for that mantle. or is all of this just me?