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This Can’t Be Right!

by Nevermore

This can’t be right, this has to be a nightmare, a bad dream, induced by too many pieces of Halloween candy. I have to be seven years old, eight years old, tossing and turning in my bed. This cannot be my life, it shouldn’t be. I’m 14 years old and I’m a self-harmer, a ‘cutter,’ though I’d rather say I cut myself. The scars on my skin are mysteriously starting to fade, not that you’d know it. You’d take a glimpse at my unscarred arms, glance at the armband on my right wrist that never comes off. You might think for a moment that my scars lay there, but realize I’m a “righty.” Maybe if you are intelligent, you think to check my legs, but no. Fitting to the summer heat, I stopped wearing long pants two months back. No one thinks to check my hips.

I’m 14 years old, I shouldn’t have attempted six times. I shouldn’t have attempted once! And please, before you comment on how many attempts I’ve made, they were fits of passion, yet zombie-like, never in my right mind, never when the sun is up and my thoughts are collected.

I’m 14 years old, and this has to be a nightmare. But it isn’t – this is my life.

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3 comments

RealTalk30 7/22/2013 - 10:23 pm

I’m sure you got your reasons. Is there nothing in life you look forward to?

HunterBrown 7/23/2013 - 12:42 am

I understand what you mean. I pray every night for god to wake me from the nightmare that i live in. Apparently he’s too busy…

Nevermore 7/23/2013 - 12:55 am

@RealTalk30

Believe it or not, no. I’m through with this. The only reason I’m still here is because my friend asked me not to.

@HunterBrown

Same thing here. You just have to keep moving forward, no matter what.

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