It gets better. Suck it up. That’s not something to end your life over. Live goes on.
Fuck you. That’s my summed up answer to that.
I don’t want your correcting, I don’t want your tone policing, or any “it gets better” shit. What I want is for people to understand and respect my choices and emotions and feelings. Stop telling the victim to change, and start actually listening.
Every interaction with any to-be friends becomes a disaster when this comes up. I trigger from it. And they don’t even respect the trigger and go “Sorry, I won’t say that again”. They just call or think me irrational. And so I barely have any friends or people I can talk to. Because explaining why I’m triggered or suicidal or depressed over and over and over again is hard. I don’t think they get it. “But its normal to expect an answer why” Yeah but it is not healthy to expect things of me that is hard to do. You want to be a good friend, respect me. Let me say it if I want and you can handle it, but don’t expect me to pour out all the ache for you and dish out explanations to why its triggery. Because its hard to explain, and its triggering just having to explain after the 15th time. So give me a break and go “Okay, I respect your triggers. If you ever feel like telling me then its okay and I will listen”.
I just hate when people will tell me they will be supportive and be a good friend when they disrespect my triggers, and dismiss my feelings by telling me to “suck it up”, and telling me my life is not my own to choose the life span of. I mean that’s just beyond discouraging, getting friends who turn out to trigger you and push all your buttons and don’t respect your answers and feelings. It just makes the whole thing worse.
2 comments
Totally.
Such similar experiences lead me to conclude that most people suck and are stupid, and i don’t want stupid sucky people as friends. Which i’m sure is fine, since they don’t want ‘depressive’ suicidal types as friends, either.
Most people are full of shit. I’m not sure you can even blame most of them for it. Everyone gets taught BS by people who didn’t know any better, and occasionally, people will malicious motives and the intent to deceive.
Don’t sweat the hypocrites. Identify and avoid. When you find someone “real,” who exhibits an appreciation of life and individuality, maybe take a chance on those. Look for people who understand the importance of perception variance, and the value of perspective. They’re out there… but most are probably mired in swarms of frustrating interactions, similar to what you’ve expressed, and may be more guarded and less likely to be encountered.
Few things grind my gears as much as a liar demanding my trust, and an irrational person claiming i am the irrational one, apparently without even understanding what that word even means.
Trust your BS detector. I know it sucks, but sometimes you have to just distance yourself from certain people.
As for the “it gets better” thing… it “can” get better… but it doesn’t just get better on its own through waiting. You have to do things to make it better. Part of that is avoiding unworthy people, and finding some who allow you to be yourself and appreciate you for who you are, instead of acting like you’re wrong for experiencing different things, and some of the same things differently.
You could even start messing with people. When they demand explanations or answers… you could make it seem like it should be obvious, that something is wrong with them for not automatically understanding, or tell them that they are the only person who contains the answers they seek.
Thanks for the comment!
People just plain suck. I agree their suck is taught, but that just makes it harder to find ones that don’t suck. Very very valid on looking for those who understand perception and individuality. People who have understood perception are the only people I have managed to talk to or be friends with.
And yeah, fighting the suck puts up pretty big guards….
I get the it “can” get better thing. It just gets to me that “It gets better” is thrown around at every situation, without even understanding the problem. And people tend to argue that it *must* get better. But it doesn’t always.
You’re response was sort of uplifting in a way, because I have less fear about expressing things here that usually provoke the things I spoke about originally…. At least for this post. Thanks for not being horrible.