Yesterday the day started off great but then it just went downhill. By twelve I felt really down and I really just felt like I had no emotions apart from sadness. None of my family know about what I feel like or how I feel and they can’t because if they did then they might make me go to counselling or therapy or make me go see a doctor. Only my mate knows and she is really understanding. She knows about this site but she hasn’t told my parents so it is good because I can talk to a mate. Â I don’t know anyone else that feels like I do and I shouldn’t feel like this but I do and I don’t think that it is going to stop.
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Don’t be so against seeing a doctor. To be honest. The UK has free healthcare, use that. You will sometimes find bad doctors, by that I mean they weren’t the doctors that could help you and understand. There are good doctors. For some reason all I’ve ever heard from other people with mental illnesses is that if you go to a doctor for one you’ll get locked up forever or become a medicated zombie. Honestly though it’s not true. A doctor might help. Meds don’t magically solve all your problems, but it helps people manage. Now this isn’t for everyone ya know? What I’m trying to say is, if you have a mental illness, and you truly want to get better, at least give doctors, counselors, therapists, and meds a try. At least then you can say you gave it a decent try. Your mates are good for support, but there’s only so much they can help you with. A good therapists will help you find the root of your problems and try to overcome it.
It won’t stop so long as we keep in the same spot. If we get up and search for help in any form, we can begin to try to manage and overcome it. I’m not better…I’m just..kinda living through each day..but I’m trying because i don’t want to be stuck in place cutting myself up and trying to kill myself.
If you experience being really happy and then really depressed it is probably bipolar disorder. Bipolar can be very different for each person and can be quite complex. I know because I have it and mine is very severe. Medication can help. There is a big trial and error period to find the right medication and dosage levels. I was never able to get through that process because at first it can make things worse.
You know, there are a lot of people on this site who feel the same you do.
It’s ok to have your feelings. They are not wrong, it is what you may possibly do with them, that might make your actions wrong.
If you need a mate, feel free to talk to me.
My email is brl.cents@gmail.com
Thanks sometimes I do just feel more down as the day goes on. In the morning I can feel quite good and then by the afternoon I might feel really down. School doesn’t help and it is usually when I am at school that I feel down. I don’t think that I have bipolar though as I don’t usually go from one mood to another in a few minutes time. It may take the day for me to go from one mood swing to the next. Also if someone is getting me annoyed I can very quickly get angry. At the end, I don’t want to see a doctor and I don’t need to. I don’t need to be diagnosed by a doctor about what I already know as the doctor is only going to tell my parents stuff.