I didn’t realize until I typed the title that it can be taken literally or figuratively. I meant it figuratively, but now that I think about it, it’s pretty fitting that I would take a swandive off the ******* bridge.
I wouldn’t say I had it all, but I had a lot. I never took it for granted, but it still hurts just as much to lose it. Someone once said if you lose everything you should be able to get it back, and if you can’t then you never deserved it in the first place. I used to think that was more or less true, but not now. The problem is we exhaust ourselves. Or some of us have a physical aversion to repeating the same thing. Say you built a magnificent castle with your own hands, it takes you 20 years to complete, and then a freak earthquake swallows it whole. How many of us would get right to work building a new one?
Sometimes it’s easier to accept the end than to accept a new beginning. I had a great life for a while. I had a horrible life after that. I’ve experienced some of the greatest joys and the worst miseries that a human can feel. In the end I conclude that it wasn’t worth it.