And by pain, I mean physical pain. I am sick of hurting all the time. I am sick of not sleeping at night because I get these long, miserable headaches, and the treatment(s) are typically stimulants. I feel nauseous and depressed and I just want to die.
I have PTSD from being ill. I get flashbacks of when I was sickest. I was lying spread-eagled on the floor, unable to move. I could barely breathe. I just lay there and stared at the ceiling, I don’t know for how long. I remember crawling from my mattress to the kitchen to open a can of beans. It took all my strength just to sit on the floor and move the spoon from the can to my mouth. And then I crawled back into bed, maybe swallowed some robitussin to take the edge off the pain.
I was being poisoned, and no one believed me. My house was making me worse. I was at death’s door, and my doctors prescribed Prozac.
Whenever I get a headache, I remember that year. It’s not the pain which is so bad, it’s what comes with it. And it comes strong and fast and I can’t escape.
4 comments
Since I was 16, I suffer from chronic pelvic pain and no doctor can tell me why. In my regular days I probably could do pretty much everything, it’s not that bad… but in the most painful ones, sometimes I can’t sleep at all… which is already hard, I usually take naps.
Sorry to hear what your going through just curiuos you said your house makes it worse do you know what’s causing it because since we’ve moved into our house i’ve felt similar to what your describing Thanks and best of luck to you!
Pain problems are extremely difficult. Docs seem to be under the impression that “using” meds is “abusing” meds. I’ve been accused of all sorts of unpleasant stuff just trying to get rid of a migraine (migraines are not treated with opiates, as with other pain disorders). It is extremely difficult to always have pain in your life. I wish you the best.
heidi, I have lived in an awful lot of places with mold problems.