is that feelings hurt. And although I know that it’s better to feel things than to be unbearably numb like I had been, I’ve cried so many times in the last 24 hours that I’m close to trying to shut everything out again. Â I just feel so raw right now, like the fights I’ve been fighting in my mind for the last few years have scarred me on the inside in ways I don’t fully understand yet.
It’s easier to be numb and dead but I choose to be raw and alive because I have never been one to make things easy for myself.
I need to remember that I can look after myself and that I am strong and invincible and that I will be my own hero. I do need to stop being so determined to do every fucking thing for myself, though, I need to remember that it’s okay to need people and that that doesn’t make me weak, it makes me human. Just because I CAN be okay alone doesn’t mean I always have to be for all eternity.