Fine you want a back story don’t you?
Ive been wanting to die since I was 14 years old. I’m 27. I’ve survived mulitple suicide attempts. I dont have the courage to jump off a building or blow my brains out with a gun.
I’ve tried hypothermia in a freezing river. I pissed myself before i jumped into that water, oh it fucking burned so bad i couldnt stand it, i was like alright ima just get a gun this shit is too painful. Then I got a gun and couldnt pull the trigger, I was going to shoot myself in the temple and thats like one of the worst ways to shoot yourself in the head because people survive that wound sometimes. My first attempt was sleeping pills, i swallowed 72 sleeping pills. I thought I would fall asleep then die in my sleep. (idiot) I didnt fall asleep for 24 hours. I had like 5% control over my body, super weak I could hardly move. Last attempt was with chloroform in a hotel room in las vegas. Fucking planned that shit for months. All the chemical companies want identification and shit, I found one that just gave out chloroform. The internet says chloroform will kill you, fucking bullshit. It knocked me out then I woke back up poisoned. And I was worried about dying of liver failure so I fucking went to the hospital and they put me in a psychiatric facility for a month.
My problems include psychosis, severe depression, lethargy, schizophrenia paranoia. Please don’t tell me these conditions are all treatable, I’ve been to many doctors, I dont even want to talk about it, just please, dont tell me to live or I feel unbridled frustration towards you. Even if I did not have any of these conditions I still wish to die. Okay? This earth is an awful place, everything is eating the carcass of everything else. The religious say if you suicide, you go to hell, I saw a NDE of a man who went to hell and he said people were eating him, like cannibals. Well welcome to earth, because if you were any other animal besides human you would at some point get eaten alive.
24 comments
Wow I’m just blown away by your story but there is a lot of info out there on suicide methods…of course you learned by doing. Hey I can sympathize with you, there’s been a few points in my life where I was ready to go if I had the right means/tools.
My life is ok for now so I don’t feel the need to end it just yet-but I’m not far behind you, eventually I know I will get back to that brink again and want to end it.
Anyways to answer your question, there’s plenty of places that sell tubing. Not sure what the laws are around this…so I don’t want to get myself in shit, so I won’t give you any advice other than to say ‘google it.’ Trust me, not hard to find.
As for the helium method, I’ve heard mixed reviews on it. I think I will probably do myself in with ******** gas because the human body is already familiar with it and I saw a great documentary (on youtube) that talks about humane ways to end life. They discovered ******** was perfect for euthanizing animals.
Anyways before you proceed, do more research on the net, you’re not the first to try this so read up some more just to makes sure you got your method right-Murphy’s law as they say.
Doh forgot to add, since you have the helium already, I think you’ll probably be ok with that too. I heard of a story of a couple of kids who climbed into big helium filled balloon and they were found dead the next day…so it’s probably on par with ********. But again I’m not giving advice or encouragement, just expressing my own ideas/thoughts.
I would recommend if you are seriously planning to do this then delete all your accounts, profiles, online presence as best as you can.
I won’t say don’t do it. What I will say is that the thing stopping you from doing the deed is what you need to let make the decision right now. If it lets you die, then that’s that, but at least think about what you really want.
I’ve been googling for the past few hours and haven’t found squat. a link would be appreciated.
Lol dude, don’t you have any hardware stores, Home Depot, Walmart? They got all shapes and sizes…ok fair enough, it might not be on google but if you go to the stores you will be overwhelmed with options. Scratch Walmart since I’m not 100% sure about them, but the rest is a no-brainer. Good luck.
*near you
What do I say the use of tubing is for? If I say its for a helium tank they will probably deduce its for a helium hood.
You don’t have to explain why you are buying it….say for a project or something if they ask but you don’t have to tell them….and when you used the chloroform did you inhale it and pass out or did you tape the rag around your mouth and nose so that you kept inhaling after you passed out?
Tubing? LOL Say you’re making a beer bong! Jeeze bud, it’s tubing you can get it anywhere – home depot an aquarium store, a hardware store … if the diameter of your tanks’s nozzle fits you could probably use a garden hose … you’re not making an atom bomb to exacting standards
Take it easy … take a deep breath, relax and stop trying to over think everything … party balloon helium, tubing, plastic bag and a sweatband
simplicity dawg
@ GuyThomas,
Tubes are not an illegal product to purchase….don’t even tell them. Just say you need 6 feet of the stuff, or whatever, they’ll cut it for you or you’ll find pre-packed lengths.
Tubes have many uses…just come up with any old excuse. Need it for a fishtank or I’m making a liquid cooling system for the PC, assuming they ask…be chill and casual so you
wont raise any suspicion. Most likely they will assume it’s for a normal use so they won’t even ask.
It’s not like purchasing helium, which is known for use in suicides and now they made it more difficult to obtain tanks.
@ Dawg,
exactly what I was thinking.
I actually tried to kill myself with chloroform twice. The first time with a soaked rag of chloroform. The soaked rag dropped chloroform all over my chest and it started burning badly. So the thought of putting a soaked rag on my face would be kind of crazy. I used a bathtub and dumped a lot of chloroform into it and then just breathed it in. I blacked out but was still conscious. My brain felt like it was buzzing like crazy. I lost sense of direction. Last thing I remember saying in my head was, “I can’t tell if I’m alive or dead” then I woke up in the tub.
THe only idea i come up with for the tubing is, I want to blow air up my ass and make a fart video. LOL
Its really strange, ironic, funny that I had to go shopping at Toys R Us to kill myself. LoL
oh and the chloroform when I woke up, smelled horrendous. Like eating too much pizza where it no longer tastes good anymore. For like a month afterwards I’d smell chloroform out of no where. Hallucinated chloroform smell.
I think I can relate to you in many ways. I have severe depression myself and I’ve wanted to kill myself. Problem is, I’ve never had the guts to do it…I’ve always been searching for a painless way to die. If only I owned a gun, I would blow my brains out in a second.
When I was going to use chloroform as my method I read that you had to use a plastic bag as a shield to protect your face and just poke holes through the bag so that you could breathe ….unfortunately when I bought it I didn’t know it had a shelf life and that over a rather short period of time it would turn into phosgene which is a dangerous WWI chemical so I ended up wasting the 60$ because I threw it away out of fear that I would painfully gas myself to death…. dying is hard enough without pain to accompany it
yeah i don’t fear the helium hood at all. sounds pretty pleasant to me compared to if we were wild horses, this is what would happen to us. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Bwvp4DZO0Y
the tubing is simple to buy its the fittings i a having trouble with. Its a female thread so I went out to my local hardware store for a male fitting 1/4” is to big and 1/8th is to small. Can not find anything in between???
Whoop!
Was looking for an accessable knockout to go with a bag & found Chloroform on eBay
Found this in the process
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-448394/Depressed-accountant-chloroform-suicide.html
Definitely worthy of more investigation.
Hmmm, not quite the same but interesting nonetheless:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9757352
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AlmostDead,
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