I am depressive. Much of the day I feel like existence is a burden and my life is a slog. Although I am not unhappy all of the time. I do have moments where I feel decent. Sleeping is when I feel the happiest. I often enjoy riding my bike, playing computer games, jerking off. I was enjoying the autumn landscape this last month. I find when I have suicide fantasies, I often feel better. I’m just curious what makes other depressed people happy.
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The thought of not being here makes me feel hope. Not much else in my life that I can think of atm holds hope for me. Isn’t that pathetic?
Wrapping up my life before I die makes me feel better. I’m going above and beyond to help people I care about in whatever way they need so that when I am gone, they don’t ever think me selfish.
A good tv series, Stargazing, music, sometimes working out, and most of all being with my friends.
The idea that peace is just around the corner calms me in a way almost nothing else can. I don’t think of it any more pathetic than someone thankful to sleep after a hard day.
That’s kind of a nice way to look at it toxicluminoth. You’re right. Btw, I didn’t specify, but in my thoughts of leaving I also always think about what I need to do for the loved ones before I go. Probably many of us think about the loose ends that we need to tie up.
Actually, life can get better with age. I went through emotional hell most of my life. Anti-depressants helped but finally owning my home and living with three wonderful pets–one dog, two cats–is heaven in my older years.
It’s all those young years of trying to fit in, find a life partner, figure out jobs and finances, that are difficult.
What helped me get through all those years of Pure Hell were pets. I couldn’t have dogs where I lived. I had cats, and a few saved my life. When you find the right one, a cat can be the best and most understanding companion in the world.
Friendships help too. Friends are precious jewels. When a more intimate partner leaves, your friends will be the ones who stay by your side, and your pet.
None of you are pitiful. You are in pain. I hope each of you finds your peaceful, safe place someday.
A time machine makes me happy….
PainNlife, I know what I’m getting you for Christmas.
Moving. I like to get rid of a bunch of shit I don’t need (inexplicably kept mail, receipts, clothes I don’t wear anymore, yadda yadda) and move to a new clean apartment with a different view. For time, I feel like it’s a clean start with new windows to look out or new places to go to… But after a while, that creeping feeling starts to come back and I know that moving again would only be a temporary fix to a lifelong problem. Also, moving gets expensive and as of right now I’m stuck in a place that exacerbates my depression with no way out in sight. But, yeah… Moving.
The thought that maybe there is an afterlife. My girlfriend died a few years ago in an accident. Maybe I will see her again. Maybe I will be able to tell her, “hey. I’ve lived alone all these years, dedicating myself to your memory. I’ve tried my best to carry your dreams, carried your hopes as best I could.” And maybe she will smile at me and say, “thanks. You did well.”
That is an encouraging thought.
@Frumpuccino: Lol well how about you um deliver it early this year
In no particular order: Traveling/wandering, discovering new places and new faces, beaches/the ocean, solitude in nature, the beauty of nature (flower gardens, wooded areas, wide open spaces, waterfalls, other bodies of water, mountains, rainforests, natural phenomena, etc), animals, knowledge and learning, quality literature, art in many forms (tangible visual creations – architecture; haute couture and ready-to-wear fashion and designs; illustrations, inventions, hand-crafted objects, photography, films, shows, electronic games; creative expressions of movement like dance and gymnastics; written word such as poetry, etc), technology and innovation (the Internet, advanced cellular phones, computers + everything else), scientific, historical, and legal study, successful business and financial endeavors, astronomy, astrology/tarot/other mystical superstitions (it’s fun even if I don’t take it seriously), guns and other weaponry, automobiles (and car racing), ships, boats, and sailing, good company, attractive people, intelligent people, rewarding physical exertion/exercise, dancing, fine dining, sweets, alcohol, drugs, sex, rock ‘n’ roll (and other music).
Yeah. Those are most of my likes and interests. Reading this, it seems I have a lot to live for. Hm.
My dogs, talking to people, making people happy, the beach and the mountains