I hope this helps, my nephew tried to kill himself a couple of times, because he was lonely, and life sucks … then at he’s 19 birthday he just changed … got up, got a job at Chucky Cheese and he is really happy, at least he say’s that…. lame story … forgive me but is true ….
At 18, you have lots of potential in life… even if it sucks now.
29 years ago I was 18.
I had a lot of good, now for me its all bad.
At 47, and in my situation, its all over.
But you….. you have a chance.
Just take my advice in your life…… dont ever get married, not even if you ever think you love a woman. Just use their ***** for what its worth, a good fuck. They will turn out to be evil in the end, even if you treat them well.
I was fooled for 14 years. 14 years of my life a lie, even the counselor confirmed that.
Alright Wifeisgone, I had sympathy and respect for you until I just read that shit you posted.
Look, I’m sorry if your wife fucked you over. I’m sorry. I really am.
But to put EVERY SINGLE WOMAN into the same category and say that all we’re worth is our ***** and a good fuck is disgusting.
I’ve been in love before, and you want to know what happened to me? I got used, cheated on, and tossed out in the trash.
And it’s understandable to be bitter, it really is. But it’s not fair to put all of us in the same category as your wife just because we share her gender.
@Wifeisgone I can’t help but take offense at what you’re saying. You are quite clearly a misogynist. You think all women are evil? You know what, if all men spoke of women the way that you do, I would be inclined to think that all men were evil. It’s people who say things like that who have no problem being rapists or abusers. You think women want to be used solely for sex? Um, hello – females are HUMAN BEINGS as well. We are not BLOW-UP DOLLS. If that’s how you see all women then buy yourself a blow-up doll.
I’m sorry, but this kind of unfair bigotry cannot be tolerated. You are basing your opinion of women on how one particular person treated you. It doesn’t sound like she acted well, but if you treated her with the same blatant disrespect you indicate on here… well, no wonder.
Go to therapy. Stop posting shit like this. PLEASE.
Disclaimer: i’m not trying to defend Wifeisgone’s generalizations of women, but i realize it might seem that way, especially to those females present who don’t realize they are vindicating him by taking offense toward his statements and then publicly chastising him for stating his own interpretation of his own actual experiences.
You guys/gals need to realize that he has been shown this through the behavior he has observed and the treatment he has received. I highly doubt that a mere singular female has managed to corrupt his entire view of all women. What is most likely is that this one woman was the primary evidence, as well as the catalyst, for such views to develop and become solidified.
I can somewhat relate.
I would love to believe that there are good women out there, with whom i might have a chance to share symbiosis… but in my 33 years, i have NEVER met a single woman who indicated a personal inclination to experience any such thing with me. What i actually observe in reality, is much closer to what i don’t want to believe: “all women are evil.” I realize that would be an absolutism that i can’t justify, so i don’t believe that statement would be correct; but i also cannot deny that the vast majority of women i’ve encountered and observed, do indeed seem to be similarly “evil.”
Obviously, women are just as much human-beings as men; but something i’ve noticed is that a large segment of them seem to only acknowledge certain male humans as “men,” while blatantly disregarding and dismissing the rest of us, as if to say we’re so obviously not worth their time, that it’s not even worth acknowledging us as human beings. As a man, if you are not “what women want,” then you will see that they will not acknowledge you as a man; unless of course you act aggressively or do any of the other “typical bad man” things; then you can surely earn your acknowledgment, but only in a negative way. If you refrain from such hostile behavior, sticking to the “nice guy” approach, you will be continually overlooked and disregarded.
As has been said around here many times: no one owes anyone anything; the universe does not owe us anything at all. No one is obligated to treat anyone any certain way, and to expect otherwise is a sometimes irrational choice, but it is a choice, nonetheless.
But if you drop your expectations, you’ll find yourself in a world that makes no sense; or maybe makes too much sense, depending on your perspective.
I’ve digressed enough, despite whatever else i might have wanted to say.
In closing, i will suggest that if you think someone has adopted an inaccurate perspective, based on their own observations and experiences lacking evidence to form a different perspective: you are more than welcome to attempt to show the person something different. If you can’t show them something different, then maybe you should accept their perspective.
If you can’t show Wifeisgone that not all women are evil, then perhaps he is not wrong? Perhaps it is you, who is so unwilling to accept what you’d rather not believe, that you’ve deluded yourselves into thinking it’s not so, and become angry when someone conveys that what you don’t want to believe, is actually true.
Just sayin’. You have to understand that opinions like that come from experience; they are not just arbitrarily created out of nothing, out of a personal will toward malice. It’s not that he ‘wants’ to think all women are evil; it’s that this is what the women he has encountered, have shown him. In order to make him think otherwise, it would require a woman who is actually willing and able to show him that is not true. And it would most likely require more than anonymously typed words on a website; anyone can say anything. I’ve certainly seen plenty of evidence that a vast majority of people (regardless of gender) are quite often inclined to say things which aren’t true; sometimes people believe things that aren’t true, and sometimes people want someone else to believe something that isn’t true, in order to influence their actions in a beneficial way. Words only have the power granted by their audience. If you give someone’s words the power to make you believe a lie… that’s actually your own fault.
“Fool me once: shame on you; fool me twice: shame on me.”
Oh my god Clevername. I like you despite your narrow-minded or pessimistic attitude at times (no offense). Please don’t start this.
Why don’t we just say that every single human being possesses a tendency for ‘evil’ thoughts, words, and actions, at least some of the time. Every human being can easily be Dorian Gray in his ‘eternal youth’ on the outside, and Dorian Gray upon death on the inside.
Some take this too far. They treat others with disdain. They have no respect. They coldly calculate their every move. THOSE are the psychopaths and sociopaths. They don’t give a damn about anything but their own satisfaction. Guess what? I’ve been involved with men who exhibited sociopathic behaviour. Did it make me turn on men as a whole? Of course not, that’s preposterous. I am willing to believe that there are still people out there with a good heart who can truly care for others. Everyone is self-serving, sure, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but if a person does not merely USE somebody, and shows consideration for their feelings… This is how everyone should be.
You want to know how I get what I want? I tell the truth. Headgames make no fucking sense to me. And if the truth doesn’t get me what I want, so be it. I’m not going to cry over it. I realize that the world does not revolve around me.
First off, I wasn’t publicly chastising Wifeisgone. I just responded to him on this thread. How else am I supposed to voice my opinion in the matter? And perhaps the reason that I took as much offense to what he wrote as I did is because I was actually quite fond of him. I like reading what he writes, and he seems like a pretty decent man to me. When I read that I was quite upset because I expected more out of him I guess.
I understand that being a woman, it can be hard to see things from the male perspective. I’m well aware of how shitty women can be, and I’ve got plenty of my own gripes against the female gender as well.
I can’t stand when people use each other and treat one another so disrespectfully. And this goes for either men or women. But he seems to be advocating the same kind of gross inhumanity that was done to him. Just use and abuse someone for your own benefit and fuck whatever kind of harm that may do the other party. Just as long as you’re getting what you want who cares right?
As long as you’re getting what you want – then just sleep with prostitutes. They get paid, you’ve had your fun, and neither party has to care about the other. It’s a win-win.
(That wouldn’t work for me on a full-time basis, however.)
Oh, and sure, sometimes those of the female persuasion can act in manners that make one say, “That is so like a woman,” but think about it – all the mass genocides in recent history were orchestrated by MEN, not women. I haven’t heard of any female shootings in the past while, either. It’s always men. Men are naturally more aggressive and violent. Does this make them evil? No. However, anyone who is especially aggressive should take proper care to ensure they can keep their temper in check. The people around them would well appreciate it so that they don’t have to live in fear of their safety all the time.
Don’t get me started Persephone. I’ve got huge issues with men, and I’m trying to work on it.
My father was a highly abusive, mind-fucking psychopath. He had my mother wrapped around his finger, and took his misogynistic streak out on me and my sister. I’ve always had a very warped perception of the male gender because of it.
And as I’ve gone through my adulthood, it seems that the only thing that guys want with me is sex. It’s all very dehumanizing, and hearing stuff like what Wifeisgone wrote really seems to be the general attitude that men have towards women.
I’m not “starting” anything. From where i sit, it looks like i’ve arrived mid-stream.
How am i “narrow-minded?”
Nothing wrong with thinking like a laser-beam when a shotgun is the wrong tool for the job. If i ever seem narrow-minded, it’s only because i’m being careful to eliminate noise. It’s pretty absurd to call me narrow-minded. You don’t see my internal struggle to avoid thinking everything all at once (which is the opposite of focus). There are some things that are simply beyond reasonable consideration. Eliminating those things from my psyche helps reduce the noise, and stops me from wasting energy on impossible or useless things.
One of my worst problems is that i feel compelled to be considerate of others, even some who are blatantly inconsiderate to me. I feel like i should not give them the consideration i feel that every person deserves, but if i stop, i’ll be like them, which is worse. But then i see that general consideration is yet another obstacle, and that it seems progression is impossible, or at least terribly inefficient, unless i stop “caring” what other people feel, or whether i’m causing anyone any problems. It’s impossible to eliminate all causes of all problems. We can easily significantly reduce them, but most people don’t seem to even bother to do something easy to make things easier and better for everyone.
Anyway, this isn’t my battle… but why is it yours? How is this man’s opinion (which is a direct result of him having been mistreated by a typically evil woman) causing you problems? Maybe he really doesn’t mean “all women?” Maybe he’s in crisis and saying things he shouldn’t say. Maybe he’ll calm down and realize it’s not literally all of them… but why, knowing he is speaking from the position of having been victimized, would you then take offense and risk seeming to defend the very same women who have mistreated people like him, to the point where they break and think “all women are evil?” If you oppose his stance, you’re vindicating him by blaming him for having been victimized by an apparently actually evil woman. The distinction is necessary, and i think despite his outbursts and nasty words, he still is a human being who has been victimized by someone who solicited his trust, who happens to be female, which happens to lead a mentally unwell person to think “all women are evil.” He’s just calling it like he sees it. You shouldn’t blame him for having such a hostile perspective, since that is what he has been shown. It has been tattooed into him, in every particle of his being, for over a decade of lost time. I think it’s wrong to blame him for his… issues. I think it’s wrong to blame him for being angry, or for being bitter or hostile. In fact, it is to be expected that he should think and act in such ways, as a result of how someone else has negatively influenced his life, against his will, by exploiting his trust and disregarding his feelings, and perhaps even his worth as not just a man, but as a human being.
Are all women evil? Very unlikely. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible for a person to be surrounded by an environment saturated with women who would do the same thing his ex did to him, to just about anyone, for the most ridiculous of reasons, or even none at all. I’ve met some* of those types, and i realize they are plentiful in this world.
And then there’s the issue of “love,” and how it’s mostly about the individual wanting to feel a certain way, and less about the other person. Love is about self… but it is misrepresented. It’s a huge fantasy to say that love is about the other person, or is about mutual whatever. It’s really all about how the person defining it, feels. I realize that won’t be a popular opinion, but it’s true. People call it “love” because they, themselves, feel something… not because someone else feels something. Sometimes two people both feel that something at the same time, and the fantasy runs rampant for a while… but one of them almost always ends up being dissatisfied for whatever reason, and abandoning the person they previously claimed to “love,” despite whatever harm that abandonment causes to the other person. When this occurs (often), it reveals that what was thought to be “love,” was never what love is typically thought and represented to be, but was actually just a mutually self-serving arrangement between two people, who were both getting what they wanted from the other, for some amount of time.
It must be nice to be able to just get whatever you want by telling the truth. Part of why i want to end my life, is because telling the truth makes me alone, and i hate lies. I don’t have a problem with being alone; i have a problem with knowing that i will spend the rest of my life without anything that can be called “love.” I don’t care what the world revolves around. I care how i experience my own life, and i care that i cannot correct enough of it to get what i want out of life, and i care that nothing else available to me is worth the outrageous amount of effort and endurance of pain, in order to sustain something that will never be even the bare minimum of what i want. I expect that people will accuse me of having elevated expectations, and that when i explain that’s not the case, they will simply not understand, and will continue thinking negatively of me; if they keep telling themselves whatever they need to tell themselves, so they can sleep at night, they will never understand… but i suppose i can’t blame them for it. Life sucks… for most of us.
But there’s no use being upset about a guy ranting and spewing hostility at those who identify with the group to which his abuser belonged. Maybe he contributed, maybe he didn’t. The point is that by being offended at what he is saying, you are actually validating his assertion that all women are the same. If all women are not the same, then you shouldn’t be offended by criticism directed at the types who are similar to the one who mistreated the man spewing hostility. Maybe he doesn’t know any better. Maybe he can’t understand otherwise. Maybe that woman really did ruin his life, including his mind, and has taken away any chance of him ever finding what he spent his whole life trying to manifest.
If anyone ever ruins your chance to get what you want out of life, i guarantee you’ll be upset, and will most likely say many things, with which others will disagree and insist that you are wrong about… but you won’t feel like you’re actually wrong; you’ll realize those people opposing your words just can’t understand, because they haven’t been there.
Like i attempted to disclaim: i’m not defending his statements; i’m defending his humanity. We shouldn’t blame victims for suffering the transgressions of another. If you know he’s not talking about you (and why would anyone think he is, unless directly addressed?), then there’s no need to choose to identify with those he has criticized. If you do, he will see it as you defending ‘her,’ and he will feel vindicated, and will most likely be unable to articulate exactly what is the problem, and ganging up on him will only make it worse.
If someone comes in here saying all women are evil/terrible, and then a bunch of females come in here and talk a bunch of shit to him (which ultimately amounts to “no, you!”)… what is that going to accomplish? Do you think that behaving as an enemy is going to convince him he’s wrong? I don’t.
OTOH: Wifeisgone… you should probably try to be more discerning about addressing people and their actions directly, rather than just ranting that “all women are evil.” Whether they are evil, they are certainly not all identical.
Whatever. I just don’t like to see any particular group being attacked for no reason. He’s spreading his misogyny all over this forum and possibly influencing young people who are as of yet unable to discern for themselves.
If somebody posted on here – “all people who play video games are deadbeat losers,” and say they know this because they dated someone who spent vast amounts of time playing games instead of paying them attention, I would say, waaait a minute. Did you ever consider that maybe this person just wasn’t into you? Or perhaps this was their way of blowing off steam and the more you pestered them, the more they wanted to escape from you into their fantasy world?
What if this poster, guy or girl, now had a deep loathing for video games because of their ex-p*rtner, and upon the slightest admittance from a crush that they enjoyed a good game of Angry Birds once in a while, would cross them off as a potential significant other, no matter how much compatibility they had with this person otherwise? Would that not be ridiculous? This would be a case of generalization. Generalizing to such extents is never a good thing. Keeping a harmful and disrespectful mindset is not either.
Clevername, you are so full of hot air and BS that even if you have a valid thought or idea you still come off as a pedantic. Knowledge for the sake of knowledge helps no one except the person trying to make themselves feel important with their 12 letter word hyperbole. Even Winnie-the-Pooh figured that out.
If you keep your paragraphes shorter and more understanding for us poo` folk your ideas might spark more interest.
I did read your posts but after a while you sound like Charlie Brown`s parents… wa wa, wa wa, wa wa
If someone posted “all gamers are deadbeat losers,” people who disagreed would post in opposition. But it wouldn’t change the gamer-hater’s perspective. They would continue to hate all gamers, due to ONE bad experience, which is also rooted in a particularly bad (and ironically common) genesis of expectation, based on a double standard. This is one i find particularly offensive… but i also know i’m not able to change the mind of any female who already thinks that. So, if some chick starts saying that, i will automatically disregard her as a woman, as a person, as a human being, based on that idea, because she is determined to make herself useless to me, as well as spreading negativity about something i like to do (video games – which i’ve not been doing at all, lately).
But how is that going to just arbitrarily convince someone else to hate all gamers? If you mean like the meme thing i mentioned before… i suppose it’s at least a partially valid point, but anyone who bases their entire perspective on a wild forum post, probably isn’t mature enough to actually matter in the world. Or, they might be capable of swaying opinions of others, and they might just cause lots of problems for lots of people, blatantly arbitrarily, for no good reason. Again, this is just part of the shitty ways of the world. It’s disgusting, but there’s nothing you can really do about it; people sometimes choose to believe stupidity with little or no evidence (see religion).
I just think it’s wrong to blame/accuse the guy for being a misogynist, after having been extensively exploited by a woman. Maybe it’s not wrong for him to hate women after such experiences. Maybe you don’t like that. Maybe that’s just too bad. But i think that females pointing the finger and shouting “misogynist!!!!” isn’t going to help anything, and will most likely make it worse… he’ll feel like other women, not just the one who wronged him, are then acting appalled that he has any problem with being mistreated by women, as if to say that he deserves it, and having a problem with it is bad.
I just really don’t think that anything written on this site is going to convince anyone to hate an entire gender. Unless, of course, we’re talking about people who have already experienced abuse, reading accounts of others experiences which disgust and vindicate them. You might have some people who were on the brink of hating all women already, finally reach their tipping point… but most likely not because of this particular man, no, but more likely from some of the stupid, slutty, whorish, trashy bullshit that the females /themselves/ post. Don’t act like there isn’t any. The truth is that women do this to themselves, and no one seems to acknowledge that… but as soon as any non-vagina has anything to say about it, oh, they’re a misogynist!
“…would cross them off as a potential significant other, no matter how much compatibility they had with this person otherwise? Would that not be ridiculous?”
Do you have any idea how many females i’ve met, who have done /exactly/ that? I’ve lost count. It’s a known rule of engagement in the man-community, that you just NEVER mention video games, ever, unless the girl is an obvious geek/nerd/gamer. Why do i have to hide one of my favorite parts of myself, just to have any chance at experiencing the relevance of gender? It’s fucking stupid. But it’s not me who decided that men can’t play video games and still be worth a female’s time. It’s THEM. They often think and decide very stupid things, as if that’s par for the course, as if it’s an acceptable double-standard. So, of course people are going to start realizing, at some point, that quite a lot of women do not deserve being treated fairly, since they have zero intention of treating others fairly. They bring it on themselves, and then act like it’s someone else’s fault, and then counter-blame “all men,” or somehow attempt to demonize men for being men, when really, it’s just that those women like stupid things for stupid reasons, and the men they meet don’t like them very much, but still find them useful in some ways.
And like everyone says: “use it or lose it.” If i have a chance to either fuck, or not fuck, i’m gonna do it, because i want to fuck. I would prefer a better option, but sometimes we don’t have better options, and must try to make the most of the scraps we can find before the other dogs get them first (or after the other dogs discard them). But, as long as i don’t have what women want, i won’t have to worry about any such thing.
It’s okay, i understand your need to oppose intellectualism. I’m not trying to make you feel inferior. But i don’t know who you are, and i don’t care what you think. If you want to think people who use “big words” are automatically just trying to make themselves feel important, well then go right ahead and think that. I have more relevant things with which to concern myself. Saying whatever i want to say has nothing to do with whether i feel important. I certainly don’t feel important. In fact, i feel completely irrelevant.
I don`t feel inferior, I`m I`m eligible to be a Mensa member, that is not my point. I could give a shit if I am or not. I`m simply saying that if you want to make a point do so in laymans terms.
Depression does not eqaul cognative thinking, if you want to make a point to those who are seriously ill then use layman`s terms, we already feel like S H I T anyway, why reduce those already unstable, irrational, frustrated or confused people to your Shermanist attitude towards Penny.
@clevername I’m not hating on Wifeisgone. But by saying what he did he is hating on me, the other female members of this forum – including poor Sunflower – sorry for turning your thread into an argument – and all other women.
Haha… I wrote a large response but my phone deleted it. Maybe it sensed that I related way too much personal information. Oh well.
The gist of it was: I’ve had bad experiences with both men and women. People have attempted or threatened to kill me, when I had done nothing wrong, or blamed me for a myriad of problems that had nothing to do with me, and turned entire groups of former friends against me. Have these encounters made me a misanthropist? No. I have to accept that while some people (the ones who initiated all the nonsense) are cruel and psychopathic, to everyone else I’m just misunderstood. I like people, the ones I can relate with. That’s never going to change, no matter how badly I am treated by any one individual or group.
yet another example of communication limitation. i guess the purpose of this site is one getting his hatred and frustration out without fear of being judged. but then we have danger of him saying things that might hurt others here. so.. should we stop him or not? that’s, i guess, up to you. the ideal state should be: you showing him that he is wrong, but not from where YOU stand but by getting down (or up?) to HIS level and then correcting him from HIS side, so that he can understand what you are saying. but then, who is that much considerate or has that much time or skill..
btw clevername, i got a catch. when Gaara was prejudiced about ethnicity (or you thought she was) you corrected her about it. but when wifeisgone is prejudiced, you are defending him. not that i have a problem… i understand the difference b/w these two situations and people, but just wanted to say that ‘I’ got the catch..just to feel a little proud:P
Why can’t everyone just get along and stop making generalizations about everyone else? If somebody hates their ex-p*rtners, fine. (I don’t hate any of mine, however.) But it is not necessary to tell everyone else – yeah, you should never try loving or trusting someone again. That’s just childish. It’s like when a 5-year-old takes a toy away from the other kid. “I hate you! I’m never playing with you again! I’m just gonna play alone from now on! Wahhh!” Then twenty minutes later all is forgotten. This is obviously much more serious of an issue, but COME ON. Saying that nobody should have a chance to experience happiness because one’s own relationship didn’t work out?
Like, I know that it fucking sucks when you’ve been played. When someone takes you for a chump. When they smirk behind their mask, knowing that they are getting away with whatever they want and not telling you about it. If you agreed to be monogamous in a relationship – this is wrong. I would never say it wasn’t. In a male-female relationship, in a male-male rlship, or a female-female rlship. ANY TIME when someone is intentionally going against a promise they made to another is wrong. If a person knows they will not be monogamous, they must be open about it upfront, and find a p*rtner who has the same attitude. This will make things much easier. No lying, no sneaking around should be necessary. Some couples are ‘swingers’ and apparently very happy together. On the other hand, some people LIKE the thrill of illicit affairs. I can’t support those type of people either. Nope. In my book, everybody should be honest and open about what they want and expect. I don’t like liars and people who cheat behind your back. For me, it’s honesty, or nothing.
If you say “why can’t everyone get along and stop making generalizations about everyone else?”
Doesn’t that mean you’re saying everyone can’t get along? Doesn’t that mean you’re saying everyone is making generalizations about everyone else?
I don’t think that’s what you mean, but it ‘could’ mean that, and is, in fact, a generalization.
I am certainly capable of getting along with others, and strive for precision over generalizations, though sometimes it’s just easier and faster to say “all x are y.” There is always an exception; even to this rule.
But the important question is: “Why…?”
People are taught that intellectualism and precision are “bad,” and that those who employ such tactics of their own accord, are “just trying to feel important,” or “just trying to make others feel inferior.”
The truth is that most people either don’t bother, or aren’t capable of precision. They choose to “spin” whatever information they perceive, attempting to make themselves look like the good guy.
@dontwant2feel:
I’m not sorry that you prefer to be hostile/critical/whatever. I honestly don’t care. I will say what i want to say, in whatever way it comes out, with as much effort as i’m willing to give it, which may not always be my hypothetical “best.” If you have a problem with my lack of perfection, well… that’s too bad. I stand to gain absolutely nothing by pleasing you, so it’s not something i feel is worth trying. I’ve already learned my lesson about trying to be more like what anyone else might want. It’s only worth doing when the stakes are high.
What i see here is a bunch of bitter people trying to gang up on everyone who doesn’t mesh with the ideas contributed to and embraced by those currently in the hive, or might influence the hive in a way they dislike. Belonging for the sake of belonging, but without discernment or discretion.
I already said in my disclaimer that i’m not defending the content of his statements, but that i am defending his humanity, as a person who has seen plenty of the types of evidence that might lead someone to say such unpopular and nasty things.
But you all should realize that it’s not up to you, to decide whether someone else is allowed to hate any particular group of people, for any reason, based on any criteria. You all realize you are not the one who wronged him, yet you take offense, and then oppose him, as if he’s talking about YOU. And so what if he /is/ talking about you? Do you know him? Does he know you? Is he right? Are you that, or are you something else? I can’t believe i have to explain this to you people like you’re five. I remember my mom telling me this type of stuff when i was in my first years of grade school, upset because someone called me names. Some of you just need to grow up. No, i’m not saying that will fix your depression or make you not want to kill yourselves; you just need to grow up, that’s all.
NONE of you are “all women.” And i very seriously doubt that ANY of you, would be an accurate “sample” of “how most women actually are.” Maybe some of you are close to typical, but i doubt it. So, why would any of you then assume the role of “representing all (or “typical”) women?” You know you’re not qualified for such a position, and you know he’s not talking about You… and yet, you jump in, as if to defend women, which is a group that has clearly transgressed him. In his eyes, you are taking the side of his abuser, blaming the victim, and then attempting to justify both your stance, and his victimization.
But, you know… here i am going against one of my own directives: i should stop wasting my time with people who have already decided not to understand, especially when they blatantly state that they are disinclined to even bother to listen (read carefully). Doing so almost always results in being accused of stuff i’m not actually doing, and having my words falsely attributed to whatever contrived motive you’d like to invent to make yourself seem right… i guess so you can sleep at night. Hm, maybe some of you really are an accurate sample of “typical women.” Would you care to continue validating the very points you so vehemently oppose? Wait, that’s a silly question; i know the answer. Been there, done that.
I get really tired of being told i’m saying something i’m actually not saying, and then having my stance misrepresented (intentionally?) to others, so that they may be lead astray upon false premises, and into a “hive” of opposition… much like the “feminism movement.” It’s the exact same tactic. Figures.
None of you can legitimately explain why this man should not be allowed to hate women, in the ways, for the reasons, he has expressed. Why? Because that’s his prerogative; just like women have their prerogative and can just arbitrarily decide to be a ***** or treat guys like accessory items without feelings.
You’re all ranting and raving because you disagree with the prerogative of a total stranger. That is something that Feminism tends to ***** about quite a bit, but only when it comes from the other side. Bunch of goddamn hypocrites.
Despite my inclination to agree with Wifeisgone, due to various experiences of my own, as i’ve stated before: i can’t state that because it’s not absolutely true. Still, it’s incredibly unlikely i’ll ever meet one who doesn’t subscribe to the idiotic and hypocritical beliefs which ruin so many others. I want to believe they exist, but i just don’t see any. If i discover they do exist, but won’t have me… well, that would be an answer i wouldn’t mind leaving a mystery, even though it seems “probably true.”
Clevername – I wasn’t saying that to you. I meant Wifeisgone. I should have been more clear, sorry about that. But nobody should generalise when they have other options. If someone wants to dislike a ‘group’ of liars, fine. But to call everybody a ruthless liar? No. That’s what I meant.
Oh and don’t call me a hypocrite because I have no fuckin’ clue what feminism is about and I don’t care either. Thanks.
Anyway, if somebody wants to hate any group of people, fine, have at it. But if they decided to go out and start causing physical harm to others, that’s where I draw the line. Sit in one’s chair and shout “GET OFF MY LAWN” all one wants, but taking out a shotgun after innocent people… No.
I’m just feeling frustrated tonight. Not with you or anyone in particular on the Interwebz, so don’t mind me. (My real-life existence sucks, that’s all. I’m just kind of at the breaking point.)
26 comments
Well you’ve come to the right website. You will find many like-minded individuals on here.
whats your story? My name on here says it all, among other problems.
i;m a sad fucked up 18 year old. i’m truly alone and i keep fighting but its nights like these I just dont want to try anymore.
I hope this helps, my nephew tried to kill himself a couple of times, because he was lonely, and life sucks … then at he’s 19 birthday he just changed … got up, got a job at Chucky Cheese and he is really happy, at least he say’s that…. lame story … forgive me but is true ….
At 18, you have lots of potential in life… even if it sucks now.
29 years ago I was 18.
I had a lot of good, now for me its all bad.
At 47, and in my situation, its all over.
But you….. you have a chance.
Just take my advice in your life…… dont ever get married, not even if you ever think you love a woman. Just use their ***** for what its worth, a good fuck. They will turn out to be evil in the end, even if you treat them well.
I was fooled for 14 years. 14 years of my life a lie, even the counselor confirmed that.
Ok, my apologies…. I thought you were a guy. lol
Alright Wifeisgone, I had sympathy and respect for you until I just read that shit you posted.
Look, I’m sorry if your wife fucked you over. I’m sorry. I really am.
But to put EVERY SINGLE WOMAN into the same category and say that all we’re worth is our ***** and a good fuck is disgusting.
I’ve been in love before, and you want to know what happened to me? I got used, cheated on, and tossed out in the trash.
And it’s understandable to be bitter, it really is. But it’s not fair to put all of us in the same category as your wife just because we share her gender.
@Wifeisgone I can’t help but take offense at what you’re saying. You are quite clearly a misogynist. You think all women are evil? You know what, if all men spoke of women the way that you do, I would be inclined to think that all men were evil. It’s people who say things like that who have no problem being rapists or abusers. You think women want to be used solely for sex? Um, hello – females are HUMAN BEINGS as well. We are not BLOW-UP DOLLS. If that’s how you see all women then buy yourself a blow-up doll.
I’m sorry, but this kind of unfair bigotry cannot be tolerated. You are basing your opinion of women on how one particular person treated you. It doesn’t sound like she acted well, but if you treated her with the same blatant disrespect you indicate on here… well, no wonder.
Go to therapy. Stop posting shit like this. PLEASE.
Disclaimer: i’m not trying to defend Wifeisgone’s generalizations of women, but i realize it might seem that way, especially to those females present who don’t realize they are vindicating him by taking offense toward his statements and then publicly chastising him for stating his own interpretation of his own actual experiences.
You guys/gals need to realize that he has been shown this through the behavior he has observed and the treatment he has received. I highly doubt that a mere singular female has managed to corrupt his entire view of all women. What is most likely is that this one woman was the primary evidence, as well as the catalyst, for such views to develop and become solidified.
I can somewhat relate.
I would love to believe that there are good women out there, with whom i might have a chance to share symbiosis… but in my 33 years, i have NEVER met a single woman who indicated a personal inclination to experience any such thing with me. What i actually observe in reality, is much closer to what i don’t want to believe: “all women are evil.” I realize that would be an absolutism that i can’t justify, so i don’t believe that statement would be correct; but i also cannot deny that the vast majority of women i’ve encountered and observed, do indeed seem to be similarly “evil.”
Obviously, women are just as much human-beings as men; but something i’ve noticed is that a large segment of them seem to only acknowledge certain male humans as “men,” while blatantly disregarding and dismissing the rest of us, as if to say we’re so obviously not worth their time, that it’s not even worth acknowledging us as human beings. As a man, if you are not “what women want,” then you will see that they will not acknowledge you as a man; unless of course you act aggressively or do any of the other “typical bad man” things; then you can surely earn your acknowledgment, but only in a negative way. If you refrain from such hostile behavior, sticking to the “nice guy” approach, you will be continually overlooked and disregarded.
As has been said around here many times: no one owes anyone anything; the universe does not owe us anything at all. No one is obligated to treat anyone any certain way, and to expect otherwise is a sometimes irrational choice, but it is a choice, nonetheless.
But if you drop your expectations, you’ll find yourself in a world that makes no sense; or maybe makes too much sense, depending on your perspective.
I’ve digressed enough, despite whatever else i might have wanted to say.
In closing, i will suggest that if you think someone has adopted an inaccurate perspective, based on their own observations and experiences lacking evidence to form a different perspective: you are more than welcome to attempt to show the person something different. If you can’t show them something different, then maybe you should accept their perspective.
If you can’t show Wifeisgone that not all women are evil, then perhaps he is not wrong? Perhaps it is you, who is so unwilling to accept what you’d rather not believe, that you’ve deluded yourselves into thinking it’s not so, and become angry when someone conveys that what you don’t want to believe, is actually true.
Just sayin’. You have to understand that opinions like that come from experience; they are not just arbitrarily created out of nothing, out of a personal will toward malice. It’s not that he ‘wants’ to think all women are evil; it’s that this is what the women he has encountered, have shown him. In order to make him think otherwise, it would require a woman who is actually willing and able to show him that is not true. And it would most likely require more than anonymously typed words on a website; anyone can say anything. I’ve certainly seen plenty of evidence that a vast majority of people (regardless of gender) are quite often inclined to say things which aren’t true; sometimes people believe things that aren’t true, and sometimes people want someone else to believe something that isn’t true, in order to influence their actions in a beneficial way. Words only have the power granted by their audience. If you give someone’s words the power to make you believe a lie… that’s actually your own fault.
“Fool me once: shame on you; fool me twice: shame on me.”
Oh my god Clevername. I like you despite your narrow-minded or pessimistic attitude at times (no offense). Please don’t start this.
Why don’t we just say that every single human being possesses a tendency for ‘evil’ thoughts, words, and actions, at least some of the time. Every human being can easily be Dorian Gray in his ‘eternal youth’ on the outside, and Dorian Gray upon death on the inside.
Some take this too far. They treat others with disdain. They have no respect. They coldly calculate their every move. THOSE are the psychopaths and sociopaths. They don’t give a damn about anything but their own satisfaction. Guess what? I’ve been involved with men who exhibited sociopathic behaviour. Did it make me turn on men as a whole? Of course not, that’s preposterous. I am willing to believe that there are still people out there with a good heart who can truly care for others. Everyone is self-serving, sure, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but if a person does not merely USE somebody, and shows consideration for their feelings… This is how everyone should be.
You want to know how I get what I want? I tell the truth. Headgames make no fucking sense to me. And if the truth doesn’t get me what I want, so be it. I’m not going to cry over it. I realize that the world does not revolve around me.
Nice to see you again clevername.
First off, I wasn’t publicly chastising Wifeisgone. I just responded to him on this thread. How else am I supposed to voice my opinion in the matter? And perhaps the reason that I took as much offense to what he wrote as I did is because I was actually quite fond of him. I like reading what he writes, and he seems like a pretty decent man to me. When I read that I was quite upset because I expected more out of him I guess.
I understand that being a woman, it can be hard to see things from the male perspective. I’m well aware of how shitty women can be, and I’ve got plenty of my own gripes against the female gender as well.
I can’t stand when people use each other and treat one another so disrespectfully. And this goes for either men or women. But he seems to be advocating the same kind of gross inhumanity that was done to him. Just use and abuse someone for your own benefit and fuck whatever kind of harm that may do the other party. Just as long as you’re getting what you want who cares right?
As long as you’re getting what you want – then just sleep with prostitutes. They get paid, you’ve had your fun, and neither party has to care about the other. It’s a win-win.
(That wouldn’t work for me on a full-time basis, however.)
Oh, and sure, sometimes those of the female persuasion can act in manners that make one say, “That is so like a woman,” but think about it – all the mass genocides in recent history were orchestrated by MEN, not women. I haven’t heard of any female shootings in the past while, either. It’s always men. Men are naturally more aggressive and violent. Does this make them evil? No. However, anyone who is especially aggressive should take proper care to ensure they can keep their temper in check. The people around them would well appreciate it so that they don’t have to live in fear of their safety all the time.
Don’t get me started Persephone. I’ve got huge issues with men, and I’m trying to work on it.
My father was a highly abusive, mind-fucking psychopath. He had my mother wrapped around his finger, and took his misogynistic streak out on me and my sister. I’ve always had a very warped perception of the male gender because of it.
And as I’ve gone through my adulthood, it seems that the only thing that guys want with me is sex. It’s all very dehumanizing, and hearing stuff like what Wifeisgone wrote really seems to be the general attitude that men have towards women.
I’m not “starting” anything. From where i sit, it looks like i’ve arrived mid-stream.
How am i “narrow-minded?”
Nothing wrong with thinking like a laser-beam when a shotgun is the wrong tool for the job. If i ever seem narrow-minded, it’s only because i’m being careful to eliminate noise. It’s pretty absurd to call me narrow-minded. You don’t see my internal struggle to avoid thinking everything all at once (which is the opposite of focus). There are some things that are simply beyond reasonable consideration. Eliminating those things from my psyche helps reduce the noise, and stops me from wasting energy on impossible or useless things.
One of my worst problems is that i feel compelled to be considerate of others, even some who are blatantly inconsiderate to me. I feel like i should not give them the consideration i feel that every person deserves, but if i stop, i’ll be like them, which is worse. But then i see that general consideration is yet another obstacle, and that it seems progression is impossible, or at least terribly inefficient, unless i stop “caring” what other people feel, or whether i’m causing anyone any problems. It’s impossible to eliminate all causes of all problems. We can easily significantly reduce them, but most people don’t seem to even bother to do something easy to make things easier and better for everyone.
Anyway, this isn’t my battle… but why is it yours? How is this man’s opinion (which is a direct result of him having been mistreated by a typically evil woman) causing you problems? Maybe he really doesn’t mean “all women?” Maybe he’s in crisis and saying things he shouldn’t say. Maybe he’ll calm down and realize it’s not literally all of them… but why, knowing he is speaking from the position of having been victimized, would you then take offense and risk seeming to defend the very same women who have mistreated people like him, to the point where they break and think “all women are evil?” If you oppose his stance, you’re vindicating him by blaming him for having been victimized by an apparently actually evil woman. The distinction is necessary, and i think despite his outbursts and nasty words, he still is a human being who has been victimized by someone who solicited his trust, who happens to be female, which happens to lead a mentally unwell person to think “all women are evil.” He’s just calling it like he sees it. You shouldn’t blame him for having such a hostile perspective, since that is what he has been shown. It has been tattooed into him, in every particle of his being, for over a decade of lost time. I think it’s wrong to blame him for his… issues. I think it’s wrong to blame him for being angry, or for being bitter or hostile. In fact, it is to be expected that he should think and act in such ways, as a result of how someone else has negatively influenced his life, against his will, by exploiting his trust and disregarding his feelings, and perhaps even his worth as not just a man, but as a human being.
Are all women evil? Very unlikely. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible for a person to be surrounded by an environment saturated with women who would do the same thing his ex did to him, to just about anyone, for the most ridiculous of reasons, or even none at all. I’ve met some* of those types, and i realize they are plentiful in this world.
And then there’s the issue of “love,” and how it’s mostly about the individual wanting to feel a certain way, and less about the other person. Love is about self… but it is misrepresented. It’s a huge fantasy to say that love is about the other person, or is about mutual whatever. It’s really all about how the person defining it, feels. I realize that won’t be a popular opinion, but it’s true. People call it “love” because they, themselves, feel something… not because someone else feels something. Sometimes two people both feel that something at the same time, and the fantasy runs rampant for a while… but one of them almost always ends up being dissatisfied for whatever reason, and abandoning the person they previously claimed to “love,” despite whatever harm that abandonment causes to the other person. When this occurs (often), it reveals that what was thought to be “love,” was never what love is typically thought and represented to be, but was actually just a mutually self-serving arrangement between two people, who were both getting what they wanted from the other, for some amount of time.
It must be nice to be able to just get whatever you want by telling the truth. Part of why i want to end my life, is because telling the truth makes me alone, and i hate lies. I don’t have a problem with being alone; i have a problem with knowing that i will spend the rest of my life without anything that can be called “love.” I don’t care what the world revolves around. I care how i experience my own life, and i care that i cannot correct enough of it to get what i want out of life, and i care that nothing else available to me is worth the outrageous amount of effort and endurance of pain, in order to sustain something that will never be even the bare minimum of what i want. I expect that people will accuse me of having elevated expectations, and that when i explain that’s not the case, they will simply not understand, and will continue thinking negatively of me; if they keep telling themselves whatever they need to tell themselves, so they can sleep at night, they will never understand… but i suppose i can’t blame them for it. Life sucks… for most of us.
But there’s no use being upset about a guy ranting and spewing hostility at those who identify with the group to which his abuser belonged. Maybe he contributed, maybe he didn’t. The point is that by being offended at what he is saying, you are actually validating his assertion that all women are the same. If all women are not the same, then you shouldn’t be offended by criticism directed at the types who are similar to the one who mistreated the man spewing hostility. Maybe he doesn’t know any better. Maybe he can’t understand otherwise. Maybe that woman really did ruin his life, including his mind, and has taken away any chance of him ever finding what he spent his whole life trying to manifest.
If anyone ever ruins your chance to get what you want out of life, i guarantee you’ll be upset, and will most likely say many things, with which others will disagree and insist that you are wrong about… but you won’t feel like you’re actually wrong; you’ll realize those people opposing your words just can’t understand, because they haven’t been there.
Like i attempted to disclaim: i’m not defending his statements; i’m defending his humanity. We shouldn’t blame victims for suffering the transgressions of another. If you know he’s not talking about you (and why would anyone think he is, unless directly addressed?), then there’s no need to choose to identify with those he has criticized. If you do, he will see it as you defending ‘her,’ and he will feel vindicated, and will most likely be unable to articulate exactly what is the problem, and ganging up on him will only make it worse.
If someone comes in here saying all women are evil/terrible, and then a bunch of females come in here and talk a bunch of shit to him (which ultimately amounts to “no, you!”)… what is that going to accomplish? Do you think that behaving as an enemy is going to convince him he’s wrong? I don’t.
OTOH: Wifeisgone… you should probably try to be more discerning about addressing people and their actions directly, rather than just ranting that “all women are evil.” Whether they are evil, they are certainly not all identical.
@clevername
Whatever. I just don’t like to see any particular group being attacked for no reason. He’s spreading his misogyny all over this forum and possibly influencing young people who are as of yet unable to discern for themselves.
If somebody posted on here – “all people who play video games are deadbeat losers,” and say they know this because they dated someone who spent vast amounts of time playing games instead of paying them attention, I would say, waaait a minute. Did you ever consider that maybe this person just wasn’t into you? Or perhaps this was their way of blowing off steam and the more you pestered them, the more they wanted to escape from you into their fantasy world?
What if this poster, guy or girl, now had a deep loathing for video games because of their ex-p*rtner, and upon the slightest admittance from a crush that they enjoyed a good game of Angry Birds once in a while, would cross them off as a potential significant other, no matter how much compatibility they had with this person otherwise? Would that not be ridiculous? This would be a case of generalization. Generalizing to such extents is never a good thing. Keeping a harmful and disrespectful mindset is not either.
That’s all I’m getting at.
Settle your differences like humans by having a rap battle. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDj7gvc_dsA
Clevername & Wifeisgone v Persephone & SomeoneSomewhere.
I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t pay to watch that contest.
Clevername, you are so full of hot air and BS that even if you have a valid thought or idea you still come off as a pedantic. Knowledge for the sake of knowledge helps no one except the person trying to make themselves feel important with their 12 letter word hyperbole. Even Winnie-the-Pooh figured that out.
If you keep your paragraphes shorter and more understanding for us poo` folk your ideas might spark more interest.
I did read your posts but after a while you sound like Charlie Brown`s parents… wa wa, wa wa, wa wa
If someone posted “all gamers are deadbeat losers,” people who disagreed would post in opposition. But it wouldn’t change the gamer-hater’s perspective. They would continue to hate all gamers, due to ONE bad experience, which is also rooted in a particularly bad (and ironically common) genesis of expectation, based on a double standard. This is one i find particularly offensive… but i also know i’m not able to change the mind of any female who already thinks that. So, if some chick starts saying that, i will automatically disregard her as a woman, as a person, as a human being, based on that idea, because she is determined to make herself useless to me, as well as spreading negativity about something i like to do (video games – which i’ve not been doing at all, lately).
But how is that going to just arbitrarily convince someone else to hate all gamers? If you mean like the meme thing i mentioned before… i suppose it’s at least a partially valid point, but anyone who bases their entire perspective on a wild forum post, probably isn’t mature enough to actually matter in the world. Or, they might be capable of swaying opinions of others, and they might just cause lots of problems for lots of people, blatantly arbitrarily, for no good reason. Again, this is just part of the shitty ways of the world. It’s disgusting, but there’s nothing you can really do about it; people sometimes choose to believe stupidity with little or no evidence (see religion).
I just think it’s wrong to blame/accuse the guy for being a misogynist, after having been extensively exploited by a woman. Maybe it’s not wrong for him to hate women after such experiences. Maybe you don’t like that. Maybe that’s just too bad. But i think that females pointing the finger and shouting “misogynist!!!!” isn’t going to help anything, and will most likely make it worse… he’ll feel like other women, not just the one who wronged him, are then acting appalled that he has any problem with being mistreated by women, as if to say that he deserves it, and having a problem with it is bad.
I just really don’t think that anything written on this site is going to convince anyone to hate an entire gender. Unless, of course, we’re talking about people who have already experienced abuse, reading accounts of others experiences which disgust and vindicate them. You might have some people who were on the brink of hating all women already, finally reach their tipping point… but most likely not because of this particular man, no, but more likely from some of the stupid, slutty, whorish, trashy bullshit that the females /themselves/ post. Don’t act like there isn’t any. The truth is that women do this to themselves, and no one seems to acknowledge that… but as soon as any non-vagina has anything to say about it, oh, they’re a misogynist!
“…would cross them off as a potential significant other, no matter how much compatibility they had with this person otherwise? Would that not be ridiculous?”
Do you have any idea how many females i’ve met, who have done /exactly/ that? I’ve lost count. It’s a known rule of engagement in the man-community, that you just NEVER mention video games, ever, unless the girl is an obvious geek/nerd/gamer. Why do i have to hide one of my favorite parts of myself, just to have any chance at experiencing the relevance of gender? It’s fucking stupid. But it’s not me who decided that men can’t play video games and still be worth a female’s time. It’s THEM. They often think and decide very stupid things, as if that’s par for the course, as if it’s an acceptable double-standard. So, of course people are going to start realizing, at some point, that quite a lot of women do not deserve being treated fairly, since they have zero intention of treating others fairly. They bring it on themselves, and then act like it’s someone else’s fault, and then counter-blame “all men,” or somehow attempt to demonize men for being men, when really, it’s just that those women like stupid things for stupid reasons, and the men they meet don’t like them very much, but still find them useful in some ways.
And like everyone says: “use it or lose it.” If i have a chance to either fuck, or not fuck, i’m gonna do it, because i want to fuck. I would prefer a better option, but sometimes we don’t have better options, and must try to make the most of the scraps we can find before the other dogs get them first (or after the other dogs discard them). But, as long as i don’t have what women want, i won’t have to worry about any such thing.
@dontwant2feel:
It’s okay, i understand your need to oppose intellectualism. I’m not trying to make you feel inferior. But i don’t know who you are, and i don’t care what you think. If you want to think people who use “big words” are automatically just trying to make themselves feel important, well then go right ahead and think that. I have more relevant things with which to concern myself. Saying whatever i want to say has nothing to do with whether i feel important. I certainly don’t feel important. In fact, i feel completely irrelevant.
Charlie Brown`s parents again. Wa, wa wa, wa wa.
I don`t feel inferior, I`m I`m eligible to be a Mensa member, that is not my point. I could give a shit if I am or not. I`m simply saying that if you want to make a point do so in laymans terms.
Depression does not eqaul cognative thinking, if you want to make a point to those who are seriously ill then use layman`s terms, we already feel like S H I T anyway, why reduce those already unstable, irrational, frustrated or confused people to your Shermanist attitude towards Penny.
@clevername I’m not hating on Wifeisgone. But by saying what he did he is hating on me, the other female members of this forum – including poor Sunflower – sorry for turning your thread into an argument – and all other women.
Haha… I wrote a large response but my phone deleted it. Maybe it sensed that I related way too much personal information. Oh well.
The gist of it was: I’ve had bad experiences with both men and women. People have attempted or threatened to kill me, when I had done nothing wrong, or blamed me for a myriad of problems that had nothing to do with me, and turned entire groups of former friends against me. Have these encounters made me a misanthropist? No. I have to accept that while some people (the ones who initiated all the nonsense) are cruel and psychopathic, to everyone else I’m just misunderstood. I like people, the ones I can relate with. That’s never going to change, no matter how badly I am treated by any one individual or group.
yet another example of communication limitation. i guess the purpose of this site is one getting his hatred and frustration out without fear of being judged. but then we have danger of him saying things that might hurt others here. so.. should we stop him or not? that’s, i guess, up to you. the ideal state should be: you showing him that he is wrong, but not from where YOU stand but by getting down (or up?) to HIS level and then correcting him from HIS side, so that he can understand what you are saying. but then, who is that much considerate or has that much time or skill..
btw clevername, i got a catch. when Gaara was prejudiced about ethnicity (or you thought she was) you corrected her about it. but when wifeisgone is prejudiced, you are defending him. not that i have a problem… i understand the difference b/w these two situations and people, but just wanted to say that ‘I’ got the catch..just to feel a little proud:P
*i checked the dictionary and realized prejudiced is not the right word.. but you know what i mean.
Why can’t everyone just get along and stop making generalizations about everyone else? If somebody hates their ex-p*rtners, fine. (I don’t hate any of mine, however.) But it is not necessary to tell everyone else – yeah, you should never try loving or trusting someone again. That’s just childish. It’s like when a 5-year-old takes a toy away from the other kid. “I hate you! I’m never playing with you again! I’m just gonna play alone from now on! Wahhh!” Then twenty minutes later all is forgotten. This is obviously much more serious of an issue, but COME ON. Saying that nobody should have a chance to experience happiness because one’s own relationship didn’t work out?
Like, I know that it fucking sucks when you’ve been played. When someone takes you for a chump. When they smirk behind their mask, knowing that they are getting away with whatever they want and not telling you about it. If you agreed to be monogamous in a relationship – this is wrong. I would never say it wasn’t. In a male-female relationship, in a male-male rlship, or a female-female rlship. ANY TIME when someone is intentionally going against a promise they made to another is wrong. If a person knows they will not be monogamous, they must be open about it upfront, and find a p*rtner who has the same attitude. This will make things much easier. No lying, no sneaking around should be necessary. Some couples are ‘swingers’ and apparently very happy together. On the other hand, some people LIKE the thrill of illicit affairs. I can’t support those type of people either. Nope. In my book, everybody should be honest and open about what they want and expect. I don’t like liars and people who cheat behind your back. For me, it’s honesty, or nothing.
If you say “why can’t everyone get along and stop making generalizations about everyone else?”
Doesn’t that mean you’re saying everyone can’t get along? Doesn’t that mean you’re saying everyone is making generalizations about everyone else?
I don’t think that’s what you mean, but it ‘could’ mean that, and is, in fact, a generalization.
I am certainly capable of getting along with others, and strive for precision over generalizations, though sometimes it’s just easier and faster to say “all x are y.” There is always an exception; even to this rule.
But the important question is: “Why…?”
People are taught that intellectualism and precision are “bad,” and that those who employ such tactics of their own accord, are “just trying to feel important,” or “just trying to make others feel inferior.”
The truth is that most people either don’t bother, or aren’t capable of precision. They choose to “spin” whatever information they perceive, attempting to make themselves look like the good guy.
@dontwant2feel:
I’m not sorry that you prefer to be hostile/critical/whatever. I honestly don’t care. I will say what i want to say, in whatever way it comes out, with as much effort as i’m willing to give it, which may not always be my hypothetical “best.” If you have a problem with my lack of perfection, well… that’s too bad. I stand to gain absolutely nothing by pleasing you, so it’s not something i feel is worth trying. I’ve already learned my lesson about trying to be more like what anyone else might want. It’s only worth doing when the stakes are high.
What i see here is a bunch of bitter people trying to gang up on everyone who doesn’t mesh with the ideas contributed to and embraced by those currently in the hive, or might influence the hive in a way they dislike. Belonging for the sake of belonging, but without discernment or discretion.
I already said in my disclaimer that i’m not defending the content of his statements, but that i am defending his humanity, as a person who has seen plenty of the types of evidence that might lead someone to say such unpopular and nasty things.
But you all should realize that it’s not up to you, to decide whether someone else is allowed to hate any particular group of people, for any reason, based on any criteria. You all realize you are not the one who wronged him, yet you take offense, and then oppose him, as if he’s talking about YOU. And so what if he /is/ talking about you? Do you know him? Does he know you? Is he right? Are you that, or are you something else? I can’t believe i have to explain this to you people like you’re five. I remember my mom telling me this type of stuff when i was in my first years of grade school, upset because someone called me names. Some of you just need to grow up. No, i’m not saying that will fix your depression or make you not want to kill yourselves; you just need to grow up, that’s all.
NONE of you are “all women.” And i very seriously doubt that ANY of you, would be an accurate “sample” of “how most women actually are.” Maybe some of you are close to typical, but i doubt it. So, why would any of you then assume the role of “representing all (or “typical”) women?” You know you’re not qualified for such a position, and you know he’s not talking about You… and yet, you jump in, as if to defend women, which is a group that has clearly transgressed him. In his eyes, you are taking the side of his abuser, blaming the victim, and then attempting to justify both your stance, and his victimization.
But, you know… here i am going against one of my own directives: i should stop wasting my time with people who have already decided not to understand, especially when they blatantly state that they are disinclined to even bother to listen (read carefully). Doing so almost always results in being accused of stuff i’m not actually doing, and having my words falsely attributed to whatever contrived motive you’d like to invent to make yourself seem right… i guess so you can sleep at night. Hm, maybe some of you really are an accurate sample of “typical women.” Would you care to continue validating the very points you so vehemently oppose? Wait, that’s a silly question; i know the answer. Been there, done that.
I get really tired of being told i’m saying something i’m actually not saying, and then having my stance misrepresented (intentionally?) to others, so that they may be lead astray upon false premises, and into a “hive” of opposition… much like the “feminism movement.” It’s the exact same tactic. Figures.
None of you can legitimately explain why this man should not be allowed to hate women, in the ways, for the reasons, he has expressed. Why? Because that’s his prerogative; just like women have their prerogative and can just arbitrarily decide to be a ***** or treat guys like accessory items without feelings.
You’re all ranting and raving because you disagree with the prerogative of a total stranger. That is something that Feminism tends to ***** about quite a bit, but only when it comes from the other side. Bunch of goddamn hypocrites.
Despite my inclination to agree with Wifeisgone, due to various experiences of my own, as i’ve stated before: i can’t state that because it’s not absolutely true. Still, it’s incredibly unlikely i’ll ever meet one who doesn’t subscribe to the idiotic and hypocritical beliefs which ruin so many others. I want to believe they exist, but i just don’t see any. If i discover they do exist, but won’t have me… well, that would be an answer i wouldn’t mind leaving a mystery, even though it seems “probably true.”
Clevername – I wasn’t saying that to you. I meant Wifeisgone. I should have been more clear, sorry about that. But nobody should generalise when they have other options. If someone wants to dislike a ‘group’ of liars, fine. But to call everybody a ruthless liar? No. That’s what I meant.
Oh and don’t call me a hypocrite because I have no fuckin’ clue what feminism is about and I don’t care either. Thanks.
Anyway, if somebody wants to hate any group of people, fine, have at it. But if they decided to go out and start causing physical harm to others, that’s where I draw the line. Sit in one’s chair and shout “GET OFF MY LAWN” all one wants, but taking out a shotgun after innocent people… No.
I’m just feeling frustrated tonight. Not with you or anyone in particular on the Interwebz, so don’t mind me. (My real-life existence sucks, that’s all. I’m just kind of at the breaking point.)