Do you know what it’s like to not belong anywhere? Every single person belongs to someone else. They have bonds that go back a while. There’s no room for me anywhere, with anyone. I’m too late to fit in anywhere. There’s always somebody better than I am. It’s funny, how all I want is for people to like me yet I have no one to feel at home with. The loneliness nips my insides, constantly reminding me it’s never going to go away. I’m a waste of a human, a failure at life. I don’t deserve the oxygen I breathe, someone else could use it more. Even if I did find a place where I felt I belonged, I already missed a majority of the good times because I wasn’t there, and therefore I will never truly belong. I’m so lonely and it’s been starting to take over. I’m desperate for everyone to like me, someone to like me, anyone. I want a friend who will invite me over and do stupid shit and I’d belong with their friend group instead of being ____’s friend. I am so sick of never belonging, the involuntary isolation, all of it.
It fucking hurts.
19 comments
The idea of belonging implies human beings are made to fit into some kind of niche – like we’re Lincoln logs cut to fit into other Lincoln logs. The reality is nobody belongs anywhere but where they put themselves, or where they are. If you lived in Ohio I’d invite you over, but I don’t really have a friend group to speak of. If you were still cool with that arrangement, I’d promise not to mention geoducks more than twice.
@ lorax, I lol’d at the geoducks part.
@ dead,
yes my friend I’ve once tasted what it’s like to have absolutely no friends…I still had my family (thank god) but just without my friends I felt terribly alone and isolated. It was extremely painful.
It was only by coincidence that I had a falling out with each of them for different reasons and at the time I was going through another personal crisis, so it all hit me hard. I tried to reach out through a different social forum (not suicide) but it backfired on me, so I learned not to trust randoms.
Eventually I was back with my friends again and things have been good since with some rocky periods. I have a handful of friends now, used to have a lot more but we drifted as we grew up.
I’d suggest maybe joining groups or find friends through work. Be very casual, people can smell desperation and they will cut you off if they sense you’re lonely and needy. So don’t give off that vibe, you have to fake it till you make it as the saying goes.
It is more difficult to find friends when you’re older. I tried branching out through work colleagues but they’re so entrenched in their lifestyles and their cliques it just wouldn’t work-I’m the same way.
However it does happen occasionally esp if they’re from the same or higher socioeconomic background. We had a new guy join our group a couple of years ago and it went extremely well for him-he’s funny, rich but down to earth, so we can relate with him.
I’m in a similar boat as you, except that I need a girlfriend (not friends) and I’m also picky, but once I find her I think life will be much better for me.
we have talked, and i believe you to be an intelligent and nice girl. I really feel bad you are hurting like that, really.
@lorax, I’d like that if we didn’t live far away.
@secondlife, I’m still in high school, I don’t work. I want nothing to do with those assholes. I don’t trust anyone and I can’t keep friends anyway.
@wifeisgone, I’m not sure if I should say thank you for feeling sorry for me, but thank you about the other things. I don’t want to be felt sorry for.
anything i can do to help? you wana Skype maybe?
@wifeisgone, not really, I don’t want to talk to anyone.
ok, just thought id ask. 🙂
@dead,
I’m assuming you meant the people at your school are assholes. Now I doubt every single person there would be that way. I’m sure you can get to know people who are nice and easygoing. People who are nerds tend to be easy to make friends with-so there’s a start.
You can also join clubs and sports teams, the school paper, etc…if you look for opportunities to interact with others I guarantee you’ll make new friends and school usually is the best place for it. If your current school sucks then move to a new one. That’s what I did and it made a huge difference. No one knew me, so I re-invented myself and made a ton of friends.
If you’re done with school, you could also take courses in college or university and that’s usually a good way to meet people as well. There are many ways, you just have to be willing to try them.
And perhaps you were burned before by others, so you have a hard time trusting others, but you will need to do that in order to make new friendships, no risk no reward.
just seems to me you have a lot of potential if you want to take advantage of it. 🙂 I mean, we talked, Im sure you can make friends in real life if you tried, but its true that a lot of people are bad, you just need to weed them out.
dont put your happiness in a woman.
i made that mistake.
Not saying it doesnt work, but be happy with other things,,,,, really.
Make the woman show she is worth it first.
@wifeisgone,
Of course not-it’d be stupid to base your happiness on a woman, they’re fickle beings.
However at the same time don’t discount what women bring into your life. Why else do we live but to find a mate to procreate with?
So being with a good woman can make you happy. Besides, it’s not like I was born yesterday, I’m talking from years of experience. And despite some bad relationships, I still love women and I don’t think that’ll ever change for me.
What scares me more is that I’ll get bored of my future girlfriend, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.
you are quite wise 🙂
I have lost the love of my life she was my rock and the only support i had left in life, and the only other woman who means anything to me (mother) is on her death bed. now im left with nothing but but my thoughts of despair, life is hopeless for me and my last option is to just end my life and with it my suffering…
The internet is full of false prophets, just like real life. Do no not listen to the idiots you meet here. Bitter dipshits…they abound.
Okay, the irony has congealed upon this thread. Good. I can harvest it and sell it at the market in the morning.
I went out for a drink and my brother decided to join me after a bit. Four beers later he is starting to babble nonsense. What a lightweight. He’d been texting his crush girl all evening and I observed, “I’m glad your woman makes you happy.” He answered, “Yes she does… and her name is Beer.” Words of wisdom. Woman + beer = winning combo.
*Women + beer
Yes, yes I do.
@wifeisgone, thanks, likewise.
@LostAndAlone91, sorry to hear that. It’s an awful situation. Another option is to find a new gf. There’s much I dislike about my mother but I will miss her when she’s gone, she’s elderly and won’t be around for too long I don’t think.
@lorax, I’m afraid your wit goes over the heads of those who should be hearing/reading it but, I for one am a fan. 🙂