I used to come on here all the time.
I’ve been, “fine” for a year now. Occasionally cutting & testing how many tablets I can take until I throw up. I lie to my CAMHs worker (councillor) about being okay.
I am fat & ugly. After years of abuse I don’t know how I lasted this long. A-levels are too difficult due to how depressed I am.
Now, I have taken a handful of sleeping tablets. I will take more.
Now, I’m going to take my own life.
I’m not sure why I’m writing this, maybe to distract myself from how I feel, depressed, light headed, paranoid, & my eyes going weird.
Nobody is home & they won’t be for hours so this time, nobody can walk in & save me
1 comment
Hi–I can feel how upset you are. Maybe in part because I often feel similar things. You wrote that you’d suffered years of abuse. Do you mind sharing what the nature of the abuse has been, and how you’ve dealt with it?
I hope you’ll share. I’d certainly find it very helpful as I’m trying to understand how all of this works, and something in what you wrote makes me feel you have peculiar insights into this.