Do you believe suicide is selfish? Do you have a right to kill yourself when there are others living off worse than you?
After all, when one kills his or herself they leave a lot of people in pain, anger and grief. Sometimes there’s even a [gruesome] mess to clean up. Is that fair?
I go back and forth between whether it’s fair or not everyday. EVERY single human being has or is experiencing some great deal of pain. in their life. But what about people who truly feel they’re better off dead than alive?
How do you feel when people try to compare your life to those who are “less fortunate”? Such as starving kids in third world countries, child prostitutes, no food to eat and no home to live in? [this is always what I call the bait question]. Â I once got so irritated with someone, I told the person, “Well maybe they can come jump off of a bridge with me.” But I guess I was angry that the person was nagging me.
12 comments
Where did the idea of selfish suicide come from? If it is, does it really matter? Everybody is selfish. It’s the pot calling the kettle black. When someone tells me about people in third world cultures, trying to get me to see the error of my ways, or to tell me I have no right to be upset about the conditions of my life, I’d tell them I’d be more than happy to move to one of those third-world countries (if the person I’m talking to is willing to foot the airfare), because then I wouldn’t have to put up with the absurdity of people telling me I should be glad that I don’t live in that part of the world.
It’s no more selfish than taking medication for pain… and i agree with lorax; whether it’s “selfish” is not the issue, and is hypocritical of anyone to attempt to make that the issue.
When *I* have pain, *I* want to feel better, so *I* try to find something that works, for *MY* pain.
While much of my pain is indeed caused by other people, alleviating that pain in the only effective/accessible way, is about *ME.*
I could say “because of other people, i’d rather die…” but really, it’s *MY* pain, caused by those other people. And so when the time comes, it will be about *ME,* enacting the only remaining option those people allowed me to access, in order to eliminate what they will never stop causing.
Is it “selfish” for a person to depart from their significant other, and never allow them a chance to reconcile and rekindle those feelings and experiences that only the dumpee is interested in pursuing? Sure, sometimes it’s “selfish,” and “selfish” can be the issue… but what it comes down to is that whether it’s “selfish,” should not even be an issue, but it is made into such, by people attempting to use manipulation tactics, to make you feel bad for “being selfish,” so that your guilt will compel you to comply with another’s demands. This doesn’t (shouldn’t) work in relationships… so why should suicide be any different?
For me, it’s like i’m breaking up with life, forever. I never want to see this life again, and from what i’ve witnessed, there is absolutely nothing life can say that will change my mind. I want what i want, i know what i want, and i know it isn’t this, and i know this will never be what i want. I’m “sorry” if that hurts people’s feelings, but it’s about me, not them. They don’t seem to understand just how unhappy i am, just how much and deeply i suffer, on a regular, perpetual, continuous basis. I do not want this “relationship” with my life, anymore, and i’m convinced it will never be able to change enough, in the most important ways, to make me reconsider. I do not want to see this life again, even if that means cutting all ties completely, and being totally alone… or even not even existing.
So, you know… i hope you all “have a nice life,” but i no longer want to be part of what i have experienced, and i have no faith in life’s ability to show me something better.
Goodbye life.
p.s.- no, i don’t want to stay friends!
Strong people can handle all sorts of things. But not everyone is strong. Some people are so weak and can’t handle what the strong could, and so they just want to go. It doesn’t really matter if it’s selfish. I know that if I do it, I will tell them that I’m so sorry but I just wasn’t meant to be. Because if I was, then I would not be this weak. They just have to accept it just like they accepted me as who I was.
LOL @ that second-to-last line–sorry, I know it’s not supposed to be funny, but…
To me I think it’s better to do what you really feel like doing than staying alive only because you don’t want to hurt others. Is it so wrong that you want to end your life instead of living in constant pain? And then people makes you feel guilty to think that way and saying that it’s selfish and everything. But selfish or not, it is only your decision and you are the one living this and you should be respected in your decision. Why, for example if someone has lived all of his life pleasing other, not thinking about him first , when he decides to suicide now he’s called selfish? If like the people that will be affected by his leaving all had really nice lives and they will get over it some day and move on. So yeah, in the definition of the therm ‘Selfish’, suicide would be. But in the way I think of it, it is not. It’s more selfish from the others to be like I don’t want to suffer from your death so you got to suffer all your life instead. Again, that’s more a question of how you see it and it may be different for everyone.
other people’s reaction should not be a determining factor in whether or not you choose to commit suicide. many people say that you shouldnt allow people to dictate how you live your life so by that logic you shouldnt let people dictate whether or not you choose to die (because death is part of life).
people say suicide is selfish but as mentioned above, everyone is selfish. in fact, it is more selfish to not allow someone to commit suicide. if someone is truly miserable and truly wants to die and and their loved ones refuse to let go because they’ll miss that person, it’s pretty obvious who is being selfish here.
just because there are people worse off that doesnt mean your life isnt hard. there’s always someone worse off. that shouldnt be a reason not to commit suicide. everyone has the right to die and infringing upon that right, in my opinion, is one of the worst crimes.
to sum it up, suicide isnt selfish, in fact, it’s one of the bravest things you can do. if people truly love you then they will understand your decision and accept it. life is hard and it tests you – some people survive but other people break. there’s nothing wrong with breaking because life has no meaning and everyone dies eventually.
This is just my personal opinion, but the only time I really have a problem with someone contemplating or actually committing suicide, is when they are a parent or have a dependent. Once you have a kid, you live for them, at least til they’re 18 or so. The damage a parent’s suicide causes to a young child is devastating. One of my cousin’s, his father committed suicide on a holiday… He’s in his 30s now and it still torments him.
These were some really good responses. I agree. I shouldn’t have to stick around and live in pain just to make other people feel good.
The only issue I’m having is with my mom. We’re somewhat close and I would hate to put her through that especially considering my twin brother is in prison (but getting out soon) and she’s going through her own financial issues. I feel “obligated” to at least be of moral support to her even though my unemployed ass can’t do much to help her.
But nonetheless, pain is universal AND relative. Who says a starving person is in more pain than a personal who’s going through mental hell? I am also a believer than some souls are just able to endure certain obstacles and hurdles and vice versa. I don’t like using the term strong and weak. Take some of the people who call us ‘selfish’ and see if they can handle some of the shit we go through?
No two spirits are the same.
From what I understand, suicide rates in third world countries are actually less than in the developed world. I don’t know the reasoning behind that, though.
as someone stated above, the “suicide is selfish” mantra is about submitting someone to your control through guilt
the real question, in my opinion, is whether it’s “morally appropriate” or not
I believe suicide is condemnable if the suicider is leaving young children behind ..
since (s)he brought them to this wonderful world, it’s his/her duty to hang in there until the youngest one is in his early 20s .. then he/she can check out if the desire of death is still there
staying alive for people who are grown enough to support themselves = martyrdom (?) .. if you feel like you’ve explored all your chances to recovery, I don’t see why you should forbid yourself the right to end it all
as a sidenote I kinda admire people who are willing to live for their pets
many people seem to regard animals as inferior beings so you gotta have some genuine love and concern to hang in there for them
@truthbetold. I admire people who live for their pets as well. I had a friend (with three little girls) tell me she didn’t take her life because she knew her three girls would be taken care of BUT her dog wouldn’t. She says she her dog saved her life.
I don’t want pets and I don’t have any kids. I’m not an invalid, but I would never procreate especially considering I am prone to these major depressive episodes. It just wouldn’t be right to the children.