I feel like I’m a failure. Â My life is a complete mess in every way. Â I have no friends. Â I don’t have family. Â I don’t have a job and therefore have no money. Â I have health problems and most certainly have loads mental issues dealing with life (loneliness, depression, jaded about life, lack of motivation, etc etc).
My life is such a mess.  And I don’t believe in myself anymore.  I don’t believe in myself in large because I don’t have a reason to go on.  And also because  I feel like my life is a series of mistakes, not just mistakes but mistakes that alter my life.  I’ve chosen the wrong things, time and again.  Nothing bad like alcohol or drugs kind of thing, but wrong choices about career, relationships, moved to the wrong city.  These choices seem innocent enough but those choices lead to really bad things happening to me.  Nothing that I did but was done to me.  Like if I hadn’t gone down Path A, then Bad thing B wouldn’t have happened.
4 comments
@bah I know how you feel but at the end of the day I would not change a thing. Yes I prob got more fucked over and my life was pretty much even more ruined because of the decisions I have made. But I’d rather know that I made those decisions for myself no one else chose for me. And sometimes regretting not making a choice can be more difficult to deal with then making a decision that was ultimately bad. And even though most decisions (at least for me) have impacted me negatively and caused me more pain than I can deal with there were very brief moments of true joy, blissful ignorance.
when you fail at everything important (just as yours truly), then the motivation to keep trying is extremely hard to maintain
i relate to you completely wrt to making bad choices, not out of malice in the least, but bad in the sense of how they turned out
just = such
i wish that was the worst of my bad choices 🙂
bah,
make better choices from now on, and turn things around.