I’ve seen the documentary The Bridge many times. In spite of the miniscule risk of surviving the jump, it’s still a much more statistically successful method than pills.
Pills? Totally unreliable
Hanging? I couldn’t bring myself to do it
Gunshot? Way too messy….besides, I’m as anti-NRA as you can get.
Yes….I have a deep seated feeling the Golden Gate Bridge will be my method when I decide I really need to go, which I hope will be before I have to suffer another Holiday Season.
I made a preliminary draft of my Will and today I talked to my financial planners about how I want my IRA distributed. They have no idea I am experiencing severe suicidal ideation. I have serious heart issues so they see this as just good planning. I’ve already prepaid my cremation and selected an Executor who has Power of Attorney. Paperwork….reminds me of my divorce! I don’t want any loose ends. Everything should be finalized and in place by my 59th birthday, March 26th.
I’ve begun a series of letters for certain people who I feel should know how and why this has all happened. None of them will be letters of apology for leaving them behind. I no longer have a life that is intertwined with theirs. They’ll get over it. My departure will be only a blip on their radar.
12 comments
Just make sure that this is really what you want. A person should never commit suicide until there is absolutely no hope or will to live inside them whatsoever.
That being said, make sure you hit the water head first. If you land feet first or close to it, you could survive the initial impact but be paralyzed or close to it and die a horrible death drowning in the water in agonizing physical pain.
Remember water is a much more forgiving element than concrete, which is why there are around 30 documented cases of people surviving the jump from the Golden Gate.
Hey, I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. And I’m not here to try and talk you out of anything, in fact you sound like you know what you’re talking about. However please know that there are so many people who care about you that you’ve never even met. You may have everything planned but it’s not too late to take it all back. It won’t be giving in or anything, you could pretend you’re starting a whole new life. Instead of taking your own, why not take the rest of it and do something for the world. Travel the world and help people, teach them through your experience.
Much Love
Sarah
I actually enjoyed that documentary. It’s kind of sad I know. There was that one guy who spread who arms like wings and just fell backwards. That sounds so sadistic, but I don’t know I just thought it was a very grand way to go. When I lived in LA, I considered driving to SF and doing it. But I was broke and had no gas money :-/
Sounds like you’re being very smart about. I’d like to reiterate what @Resitay said. Make sure this is how you really want to go. I’ve heard of people getting to the bridge and then it’s a different story.
The only thing that scares me is that one guy who jumped (from a different bridge) and ended up in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.
You hit the water at a speed just a few seconds below terminal velocity (the speed of the downhill skier). The fall takes about 4 or 5 seconds. The body stops moving but the internal organs don’t and death is nearly instantaneous. You have fallen the equivalent of 25 stories. I would do it the way Gene Sprague did (stand on the rail and fall backwards, arms outstretched). My heart is so damaged and weak that a heart attack on the way down could be a real possibility.
Yep. Gene stood up on the rail, stretched his arms out, and just let himself fall backwards. He hit the water head first, and the whole way down there were no signs of panic or fear in his body. It was like he was completely renounced in his decision to leave this world. There was no trace of doubt left in him at all.
Make sure you’re at the same point. If you have watched “The Bridge” then I’m sure you’ll also notice that Gene had loved ones who cared about him and were hurt by his suicide. Make sure that you do your best not to hurt anyone else who cares about you before you go through with it.
People that you encounter on this website understand what it’s like to be suicidal, but in the real world most people simply don’t “get it.” If there are people in your life that will be deeply affected by this, then make sure you do whatever is necessary beforehand to ease the guilt that they may feel after you kill yourself, that it was not their fault in any way, shape, or form for your actions. People who have a loved one that committed suicide typically feel an overwhelming sense of guilt because they think that they could have done something to prevent it if only they were aware of the situation before it happened.
@Resitay: I hope you won’t mind me engaging you briefly. First, I respect (& applaud) what seems a genuine wish you have to help someone suffering. I agree with you that suicide shouldn’t be a poorly considered choice. But isn’t that what free choice is about? I can choose to destroy a priceless work of art, to give away my great wealth, or to throw away my marriage–and this despite the profound effects it may have on even my children. Our culture grants us the right to make many immensely important decisions, many which are practically or legally irrevocable. Other than the biological difference of suicide, what is so special about this class of decisions that it requires peculiar, distinct thinking, such as being at the same point Gene was when he choose to die? Why isn’t the choice to commit suicide equally valid if one is trepidatious but still feels there are too many negatives to life to justify continuing? Why is fear a good enough reason to bench one’s decision to commit suicide?
Another question: why should one who succumbs to a lifetime of pain feel obliged to alleviate the suffering of others? This might be a nicety, but why should the dying person feel the obligation? From what I’ve read about many whose acquaintances have committed suicide and left notes, the notes don’t offer answers to survivors’ questions, nor are they especially appeasatory. Parents, lovers, friends don’t appear to, on reading they couldn’t have done anything to prevent the suicide, feel marked satisfaction. So from a practical perspective, why the counsel to leave a note?
I hope I haven’t come across as aggressive. I just really don’t understand either perspective.
@Bayareaguy: I’m very sorry you’re hurting. To the extent I can, I empathize with your experience and your reasoning. And I found your description of the fall from the railing of the Golden Gate Bridge vividly informative. I read in your original post you find a gunshot too messy. Since our country denies legal access to medically competent means of egress, and since I want to minimize the chance of making an error AND want to leave nearly instantly, I’ve decided a gun is my best chance.
I wish you peace–and I hope it won’t offend you that I also hope a reason important enough, pleasurable enough, and sustaining enough comes your way very soon to dampen thoughts of suicide for you. Your prerogative, though, is paramount.
-EK2020: We all have “free will” in this world, so to speak. I personally don’t really see it as such. From my point of view we’re all born into this world without any say in the matter. Our parents (should at least) try to raise us up the best they can to prepare us for the seemingly endless struggle for survival that we will inevitably face once we reach adulthood. And from there it’s either “sink or swim” once we have passed the culturally acceptable defining age for a person to fend for themself.
This approach obviously doesn’t work for everyone. And it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are “weak” and therefore subject to Spencer’s idea of survival of the fittest.
In my opinion, we live in a society that is grossly ignorant of the true capabilities of humanity. We waste so much time, and in the process cause unfathomable (not to mention needless) suffering to so many truly talented and capable individuals who, under a different set of circumstances, could have been an enormous asset to our species; yet we choose to dismiss them as unworthy of our regard and let them perish while we go on to worship Miley Cyrus and other ridiculous celebrities as gods.
I have nothing but compassion to the author of the OP, and I understand where he is coming from entirely. If I thought there was anything that I could say to change his mind and show him that his life was indeed worth living and seeing through to an end from something by other than his own hand, I would unhesitatingly do so. But unfortunately I cannot offer him that, as I don’t really see it for anyone, myself included.
As far as fear goes, it means there is still a part of you that is scared to leave this world prematurely. There is a reason for that, and until you have reached the point of “no fear” you can’t understand it, nor should you attempt to take your own life under such a condition. Fear means that something is scary and wrong to you, therefore you shouldn’t proceed, even if your fear turns out to be irrational. But in the case of suicide, which is literally the most important decision a person could make in their entire life, there should be no lingering traces of fear or doubt whatsoever. Suicide isn’t something to play around with. And unless one is absolutely certain that it is the right thing for them to do, then they should not do it.
As far as being considerate to the people left behind that may be hurt by a loved one’s suicide, it should simply go without saying. Anyone who commits suicide without first thinking of the impact it may have on others who care about them deserves to die. Sorry, but it’s true.
@Resitay: “Anyone who commits suicide without first thinking of the impact it may have on others who care about them deserves to die.” Until I read that line, I thought we might have an open dialog. But, I’m stunned speechless.
I wish to you my condolences in advance bayareaguy. I will not attempt to tell you that you are right or wrong in any manner. I hope tying up these loose ends are without complication for you. I understand part of your reasoning for your chosen method. The mess and that does not really bother me in the end, so I have chosen to use a shotgun myself. It was mainly chosen for maximum success rate. Secondary option for me would be a tall building. I would just rather not a public forum myself. I have pretty much shored all things up on my end. I will probably go before you. I just wanted to say best wishes to you sir.
My apologies EK2020. I didn’t mean to come across as harshly as I did and I regret saying what I did now. I’m sorry again and I meant you or no one else any offense.
The reason I am so strongly opinionated on this particular matter is because I know a few people personally who have loved ones that committed suicide. Perhaps you are unaware of the kind of damage that it can cause another person. But from what I have seen, a huge part of them died right along with the suicidal person that same day. It causes unimaginable grief to those left behind, and it is a pain that they will carry with them to their own graves.
All I really meant to say is that the effects that a person taking their own life might have on people who care about them should always be taken into consideration. Whether a person decides to go through with suicide is ultimately their own choice, but every preventative measure to cause the least suffering possible to those left behind should be taken beforehand.
My apologies again for coming across as insensitive jerk, which I’m not.
as *an* insensitive jerk