I’m not asking as a way to judge you, Â I completely understand wanting to cope with depression. But why cutting specifically? I’ve used several methods myself; Hallucinogenics, Drugs, Alcohol, things like that.
I’m asking because I’ve tried doing it and I just don’t feel the pleasure, and I’ve attempted suicide several times, so I know a thing or two about “hurting myself”. So why do you guys like it?
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I do it to feel the pain and see the blood rush. It calms me strangely, maybe the release helps me but it’s why I do it.
@pillarofsalt Really? I use hallucinogenics to not feel pain. Just wondering, do people notice that you cut yourself?
I don’t enjoy cutting myself. I rather prefer hitting my big toe with a hammer.
It felt good. I wish I could do it again. I’d like to see my blood, remind myself of my futile existence. No more thinking, just feeling on the outside. Nothing left to get in.
Just tried it once. I realized it really made me feel some kind of relief (and i stopped judging those who did it too because of that)… never did it again as i might have ended up doing it often.
I do not cut myself. However I have experienced the calming sense from the slight pain and or seeing the blood run. It honestly scares me the way it makes me feel. Few months ago I got worked up and out of desperation I punched a wall clock. I try not to do this and I certainly try not to destroy things. The clock was something I had found, two of them actually. They were still on an open face box and on the floor. When I punched it, turned out it wasn’t as cheap as it looked. The lens or face of the clock was not plastic. Turned out to be glass. It cut my knuckles and hand and one piece that flew back nicked my cheek. They were more like scratches rather then cuts, but bled a lot. Honestly I did not notice at first. I walked back into the other room and tried to start over in talking to who I was arguing with. She asked me what I did to myself, I said nothing. She did not know I had punched the clock. But she pointed at my side and said your bleeding. I looked down and blood was trickling off my finger tips. Not streaming, but decent pace drips from about three fingers. Certainly looked worse than it was. Once the blood was wiped away you couldn’t even really see the scratches. But I enjoyed this calming empowering feeling just from watching the blood run down my hand then my fingers and drip. It was weird. I like Star Wars. And it was like what I have always imagined what it felt like when anakin or other siths were indulging themselves in the dark side or becoming consumed by it. Certainly an enriching feeling, but an eerie one that scared me.
For me it’s a way of punishing myself. It releases the emotional pain that I’m feeling inside, but then after I regret it. Once you do it once you can’t stop, well at least I can’t and I really wish I could. After, I hate seeing my scars, like I’ve just ruined my body.. And each scar is a constant reminder of what made me do it and those memories haunt me forever, yet I’ll keep doing it. Sometimes I punch myself as well, but that’s when I’m angry at myself, just blaming myself for everything.
I do it so that the pain can get out of me, when I cut myself it opens up my skin and lets out all that pain I have inside of me
Simply put, Endorphins. When we cut ourselves our body releases endorphins, natures built in drug. Endorphins are released into our system anytime we get hurt. It’s why some people get a “high” off of working out. Muscles are torn, so the body releases the endorphins.
The down side is like every other drug, the body grows tolerant to the endorphins, meaning we need more to get the same feeling, so we end up having to cut more and more, for less and less. Also if you use a drug or do activities that causes the body to release endorphins, you may not get the same feeling, due to your body building up the tolerance already.
Well cutting to me is like drugs and alcohol to you, a short relief, becomeind addictive, and deadly.