HOW FUCKING STUPID AM I?! I MUST BE PRETTY FUCKING STUPID! IM SO STUPID! WELL FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FOR GETTING EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT AGAIN. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. IVE MADE THE DECISION IF IM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE NONE OF THAT SHIT IS HAPPENING. NONE OF IT. HOW FUCKING STUPID AM I. JUST STRUNG ALONG AND DISPOSED OF. I SAID ALL THAT SHIT WAS SO VULNERABLE AND MEANT IT. AND YOU ATE ALL THAT SHIT UP. THEN WHEN THE MOMENT PASSES, ITS FORGET IT. FUCK YOU. I AM WORTH SO MUCH FUCKING MORE THAN THIS SHIT. MY LOVE MY CARE MY TIME EVERYTHING, IM WORTH SO MUCH FUCKING MORE. YOU CALLED ME ALL DAY EVERY DAY THE LAST WEEK, TEXT ME EVERY SECOND, ASK FOR FAVORS, ACT ALMOST THE SAME, YOU TAKE AND TAKE AND TAKE. WELL FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. I HAD/AM HAVING THE HARDEST TIME JUST DOING MY WORK. YOU FUCKING DISTRACT ME TOO. FUCK YOU. YOU DONT CARE. FUCK YOU. BECAUSE YOU FUCKING KNOW ID DROP EVERYTHING IN A SECOND FOR YOU, ID DROP EVERYTHING TO TALK TO YOU, TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOU. FUCK YOU. YOU FUCKING KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU HOW MUCH I CARE ABOUT YOU. I CANT FOCUS ON ANYTHING ELSE. YET YOU STILL FUCKING ACT LIKE YOU CAN KEEP TAKING AND TAKING FROM ME BUT WHEN YOUVE GOT WHAT YOU WANTED, ITS HEY FUCK YOU AGAIN. NOW YOURE HOME, YOU HAVE TV, YOUR COMPUTER, OH MY COMPUTER TOO, AND WHATEVER ELSE. SO NOW YOU HAVE SHIT TO DO, THATS WHEN YOU REMIND ME, HEY FUCK YOU. BUT WHEN YOURE AWAY, THE PEOPLE YOU ARE AROUND ARE CRAZY, YOU HAVE NO TV, NO INTERNET, NOTHING TO DO, WASTED THAT MONEY/TRIP, THATS WHEN YOU CALL ME ALL DAY AND TEXT ME ALL DAY AND WANT AND WANT AND TAKE AND TAKE, BUT AS SOON AS YOU LAND, AS SOON AS YOURE BACK, IT’S FUCK YOU! WELL, fuck YOU! I WISH I DIDN’T LOVE YOU OR CARE ABOUT YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS. I WISH I COULD FOCUS ON SOMETHING ELSE. IF I DONT GRADUATE, I WILL FUCKING DESPISE EVERYTHING. BUT YOU FUCKING KEEP TAKING. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. MAN, I LOVE YOU SO DAMN MUCH, BUT REALLY WISH I DIDN’T. THIS PAIN IS UNREAL. IT’S UN-FUCKING-REAL. this pain really is unbearable. i know i screwed up. oh my god. there’s nothing i want more than him. there’s nothing i love more. of course i love my family, but this is an entirely different love. i wish i didn’t. everything has been taken from me. you took everything. i dont have anything left for myself, for anything, anybody. im a miserable ***** now. fuck this. i’m either going to find success or im going to die trying. i better fucking graduate. this pain is seriously UNREAL. i have more work to do that’s due between tomorrow and wednesday than there are hours in the day to do it. what the hell.