So I’m not ready to die yet, but I don’t feel much like dealing with life all the time. I just want to sleep all my free time away. I hate weekends, too much time to think. But my sleep cycle is completely normal, sadly (haha).
So I’ve been thinking of taking sleep aids to just force myself to sleep all day. I just want to eat and go back to bed on days I don’t have work or school. Breaks are unbearable… Somedays I can see friends, but not always, and being by myself just makes me think too much and I can’t stop thinking about just ending it and getting it over with. Pathetic, right? So I just want to sleep instead, sleep is nice.
Anybody know if there are some OTC meds that would work for this? Ah, weird question, I guess. I got some NyQuil, would that work? Or would it suck at actually keeping me asleep all day/ cause too many nasty side effects?
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4 comments
Someone who understands! Finally! I always get that feeling that sleep is so much better than reality, because it’s a means of escape. I hope you don’t do the escape of cutting the line, but something that works for me is Melatonin. It’s just for sleeping, not the eternal kind of sleep right? Please promise me that!
I think about dying a lot, but the truth is I’m too much of a coward to go through with it. And my life is great now, objectively speaking, I just can’t seem to enjoy it… I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t seem to stop myself from patterns of thinking I know are bad for me. Maybe it will fix itself. Or maybe I will break one day. Or maybe something else will kill me first, who knows. Sleep is a way to get out of life without the permanency of actually dying… So I just want to sleep. And unfortunately I am still up at 2am, ugh. I can usually get to sleep at night, too. >_<
I wish my sleep cycl0es were normal. My sleep patterns are so erratic that it sometimes feels like I’m in a perpetual jet lag. I’ve been in this state for several years and its quite debilitating. If you go through with your plans to get more sleep just hope that it doesn’t permanently misalign your circadian rhythm.
I don’t think not dying is cowardly, I actually think it’s a strength; it means that you see the truth of life, but you’re willing to continue to live it. I think maybe you should begin to live life kind of day by day. Just think about life in terms of days, because it’s just so much to take in when you think about life in the next few years to thirty years. You think about the faults and the possibilities, but when you think about “Am I going to want to like this by tomorrow?” life will become so much easier. Hopefully that kind of helps with any thought patterns.