I think we all have those things in our heads that just won’t leave. An example of this would be the saying “Nothing lasts forever”. Because of this, I am incapable of commitment. If someone tells me that they’re here for me, i still can’t trust them because they won’t be here for me forever. They will move on like everyone else. It’s the same with relationships. They end. So what’s the point. Itll just end in heartbreak so why the fuck would it matter.
I also can’t seem to shake the thought that everyone is capable of pretending. Pretending to be my friend. Pretending to love me. Pretending to care. Pretending to listen. If they’re all just pretending then whats the point of counting on someone? I don’t see a reason to rely on a bunch of people who can fake it all.
people say “skinny is beauty” and to that, I say you’re right. I have accepted the fact that I am not beautiful and I never will be beautiful. And if the one who possesses this body doesn’t even think it’s beautiful, how could anyone else? This saying has caused havoc in my mind. No One could love me. Not even me. I hate myself. I truly do.
I guess im waiting for someone to prove me wrong. Someone who will make me believe that forever does exist and not everyone is fake and I am beautiful. But here I am relying on someone else again. Waiting on a fantasy.
1 comment
Relationships may not last forever. The lessons learned about strengths and weaknesses may. People say “skinny if beautiful” I say “as long as you are of a health weight, who cares light or heavy. As long as the light or heavy is not hard on your body” Plus, don’t confuse lust for love. Love doesn’t discriminate or let something as meaningless as weight stop it.