Why is it still snowing!? I’m in Michigan and I, more than ever, need some sunlight and some relief from the snow… but it just won’t quit. At least give me a good scary thunderstorm to appreciate.
Otherwise… I’m trying Lexapro and it’s taken a month to finally kick in (I think). I only realized it when I noticed I was humming a song at work. I never do that.
You’d think I’d be into the clear but I can’t seem to let my exit bag / tank go. I don’t want to get rid of it. It gives me strength and security to deal with my problems when I know I can end it quickly and painlessly when I so choose. It keeps me grounded and not panicked. It is my anchor.
“I am in good company when I am alone because I am with me.”
I’m trying to be ok alone. It’s not easy. I’m so confused. I’m in good shape. Do well for myself. Take care of myself. Funny, nice. I am what they say they want. They can never pinpoint why… it’s not me they ever want… but I DO make a great friend, a cuddle buddy, a shoulder to cry on, a rock of support, a fall back, a favor provider, a dependable responder, and good company. Only those things…It’s like I’m on the truman show but scripted to be lonely. If I don’t fight it, everything is great and anything is possible.
How are you all feeling today!?
2 comments
Geez and Im here in Southern Cali complaing how hot the damn sun is and actually excited for the rare occurence of rain to happen tomorrow, where people are dying to see the sun even for just a little.
Shit Im actually planning a beach trip this weekend.
I understand why you wish to keep your options open and I will not knowck you for it. But friend, I hope one day you can move and grow so you can let the anchor go and let the ship sail forward.
You seem like a genuinely good person, why do you wish to share this goodness with just yourself?
Haha… I’d complain about the heat too. I prefer it cooler but I am just so sick of this snow! We’ve been buried in and shoveling for what feels like forever!
Damn you and your beach trip! 😉
I hope so too. Thank you. My anchor holds my ship in bad weather but it also ties me up in good weather too.
I don’t wish to share it with just myself. I desperately wish to share it with someone else because life is too amazing to not share with the right person. It just doesn’t work that way and I need to be ok on my own. Enjoy life as it is right now… which doesn’t include anyone special.