I remember the first day of school.
I remember I was wearing a yellow silky skirt.
I remember I was wearing a white shirt.
I remember not wanting to let go of my mom.
I remember crying, sobbing, grasping.
I remember the first day of school.
I remember the first day of middle school.
I remember I felt scared.
I remember I felt lost.
I remember I wasn’t happy.
I remember gripping onto my books tightly.
I remember I was lonely.
I remember the first day of middle school.
I remember talking to you for the first time.
I remember the nights after.
I remember-
I know what
I know who
I know where
I know how
I know why
Will you?
2 comments
I remember the first day of middle school too . . . though I have no clue what I was wearing. Something goofy for sure! I was also in a state of panic. I felt pressured. I felt the need to be perfect. I wasn’t happy, I was lost too. Maybe we all are lost. All the time, just on different levels.
You talked to somebody for the first time, which is good. This means you had some means of social skills. And that means? That means you are not a failure. You are strong and you are here. When we meet somebody memorable, of course we’ll remember the nights afterwards. We are human. The greatest part of our lives, is that we have a memory. We have to memorize important things, like why you yourself have the complete right to live.
I know what, who, where, how and why in my own life. None of which, are the most spectacularly beautiful stories. Then again, if you’re here on this sight, probably none of ours are. “Will you?” Like said previously about memory, it would make the answer “of course”. It would be very hard for me to ever forget those things. Mostly they haunt me, but other times I force them to be a reminder of how much I need to find something better before I let it all go.
LetItGo / StruggleOn, I am in that nostalgic group. So I can not remember first days of middle shool. But I do remember first days of new assignments, what if I screw the pooch, what if I cause a big dollar incident, I have to learn the names of hundreds off me guys…..(I suck with names). When faced with the unknown even if we have the skills and knowledge to do fine, it is quite standard to have these feelings. Why though, why are we so scared of the what ifs? It is just life and we need to learn to roll with the punches, a close dance with joy and pain without getting tripped up by one or the other.