i’m probably the worst student ever. this year was going to be my first year in high school, and i was really excited about it. i thought i was going to get straight A’s and make my parents proud. last year, i got good grades, a 3.6 GPA. but i didn’t like it, still. even with a B, for some reason i wanted to go higher. but it’s two days away from the third quarter, and i have three F’s and five missing assignments. this has been happening ever since school started. i hate myself so much because whenever i come home i just go on the computer and don’t do my homework, and then my parents get mad at me when they look at my grades. my parents are the best, and yet, i’ve failed them. i don’t know what to do. i would love my grades to be better, but my ambition and my hope is just simply gone. i don’t know what to do. i don’t know who to talk to. my friends, they don’t like it when they know how terrible my grades are, and i don’t know what to do. i just don’t know what to do. i know that i won’t get into the colleges that i want to go to. i haven’t improved. i don’t even know if i care, anymore. i may seem like a crybaby, but i don’t know how to find what drives me to get good grades. i don’t know where to find my fight. i’ve been thinking about committing suicide. i really don’t want to do it, because it seems like i’m giving up on life and just backing out, not wanting to take the responsibility of facing my parents when my report card comes out. but then again, i just feel like nobody understands what i’m going through, that nobody is helping me, nobody to talk to. i just feel so sad, and so terrible when i think about my family being so disappointed in me. what do i do now?
1 comment
Good question.. How do you find enthusiasm for doing something only to make someone else happy and proud? It would be like having sex only to make the other person happy and you’re not interested in the least. You could do it for a while, but soon it becomes old, stale and you’d rather be on the computer.
Hmm…I guess it’s always best to have your own reasons for doing things.