I have seen how suicide affects others, I know the pain left behind. I have seen people fall apart after a loved one takes their lives, I have seen it for myself.
I know that it’s a permanent fix to temporary problems. I know how selfish it seems. I know that even though my pain will be gone I will leave pain for others.
I know all of this yet it’s still all I can think about. How I will do it. When it would be the best time. Where. What I would say to everyone, how I would say it. What people would think.
I just keep hoping fate will take care of it. Drive without a seatbelt, take risks, anything.
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1 comment
Yow.
The problem with no seatbelts is that you can get mangled, cited, and be left too incapacitated to do it in a more successful manner. Impulsive recklessness can also snuff others out, something that can complicate matters if you get bounced back here.
I’m hoping others will eventually see that they may have been demanding i suffer for their sakes, and that there is enough selfishness to go around.
Logistics can be tricky. Journaling seems to help clarify things and bring relief, if for only a day or two.
Do yo really want to die or are you also hoping to make a statement and connect with others? If you need to confront people in your relationships, take time to consider the best way to do that now.