I am frightened

I myself am not well but I am with someone who is bipolar and I guess I thought against all odds, we would make it. Things used to be worst. I was there though, I held her fucking hand the entire time although I was scared of her. She is a bit more stable now, but I don’t know. I guess I need to hear it from other people, who don’t know her, to tell me I shouldn’t be doing this with her. Her manic phases make me want to commit suicide because of how she makes me feel. I don’t want to sound like battered and beaten mid-wife but I know its not her, not completely when these things happen. So I sit here getting more and more depressed day in and day out for 8-15 days a month and it is starting to drive me crazy. I feel a different energy coming off of her, like if she is a completely different person, i mean like that song by some chick singing how there is a stranger in her house, bed, etc. Regardless of the mania, I’m frightened to talk to her. About my day, about anything because I don’t feel important to her. She obviously tells me I make this stuff up, but I mean these feelings come from somewhere. I feel unimportant, lonely and depressed almost every day and she doesn’t even notice.