Not going to lie.. It’s been a strange, strange week… So I guess I’ll start with a little back-story.
I’ve always found it difficult to make friends because.. well before they’re friends, they’re strangers. And I can’t speak to strangers. It’s just always been a thing with me… I know what you’re thinking. Just another awkward teen… But that’s the thing. I’m awkward with my friends…  Strangers are just downright unbearable. Just the mere thought of talking to someone I don’t know can send me spiralling into a major panic attack. I can’t order food, taxis, return broken items because I’m afraid that I’ll have to explain the problem.. and doctors.. don’t even get me started on them.
More on this in a minute. The first point I wanted to make was about friends… I find it difficult to make friends, but on the internet it’s different. A little over a year ago, I found a role play website that I just really got addicted to. I was able to talk to people there because it’s just words. Words aren’t scary… People are. Some of my best friends are people I’ve never met. The person who knows the most about me is a girl on the opposite side of the world…
Well anyway. A few days ago one of my internet friends noticed that I was sorta freaking out. He asked me if I had ADHD… And that got me thinking. Like really, really thinking. I never even thought about it, but when I did a lot of the signs were there… I asked my mother the next day if I had ever been tested. And things got weird. Tested for ADHD? No. Tested for Aspergers? Yes. She told me that I was diagnosed when I was a kid, but it was never really bad… So, yeah… I have Aspergers. I have something that I know very little about. I don’t know who I am… and I don’t know why it was kept from me.
So that was part one of my strange week… I might as well go on with part two. Which happened today.
Back onto the topic of internet friends… You see, a year ago, I never thought there was such things as internet enemies. I now know that there is. The girl, the one who knows everything about me, was in a group chat. This is where things are complicated… There was this guy who was quite possibly the biggest pervert I’ve ever met who used to ask me to cyber with him and stuff. He was in the group chat along with a girl that I hardly know and two of my closest friends.
Now I don’t know what happened, but the girl made a comment that I would probably end up fucking the guy for hours if I was with him… And my friends got upset. This whole fight broke out which I’ve only seen part of… In the part that I did see, the girl that I barely know called me a ‘slut’ multiple times.. and she said that I should just ‘drop the whole innocent act because no one believes it.’
My friends stood up for me. I’m grateful for that. But still.. the words… They hurt more than they should.
2 comments
the insensitive part of me would tell that useless slut to fuck off for her rude comment, she probably is an ugly fuck with no life anyway. The sensitive part of me says that person is pitiable and ignorant, and wish her the best and just log out. Your better than any cruel words any nameless face spews remember that.
Petty words from a petty woman, nothing to worry about
There are lots of amazing and interesting people on the internet but also you’ll come across one of those every once in a while, it’s just bound to happen
Brush it off as you would stubbing a toe
You still have your friends and they stood up for you
That’s all that matters