not good enough for anyone

so there is this one guy who works in the photo department at the Walmart by my house and he is INSANELY cute and super sweet. Every time he sees me he comes up and says hi to me and asks how I’ve been and makes conversation… well apparently my mom told him (when i wasn’t there) that I like him… not only did she tell him that I have a crush on him, but he KNEW WHO I WAS!!!!!! This was a couple months ago. now every time I’m in there to get pictures developed (which I do quite a bit because I take a lot of pictures) he always comes over to help even though I know what I’m doing. My sister keeps telling me to just ask him out but I don’t know.. he’s way too hot for me and too sweet. I’d just fuck it up like I do everything…

For instance, I got pictures developed on Tuesday from my trip to the zoo. I didn’t see him sitting behind the computer so I asked the other guy for help because the machine wasn’t reading my memory card. The moment I spoke  Austin (the hot guy) stood up and was like “I’ll HELP!” so he got me the adapter for it and then went to go help someone else. but when my mom and sister left he came over, stood RIGHT next to me, and said “hey! It’s uh.. it’s been a while since I’ve seen you here!” and I looked up (most likely blushing) and said “yeah I just went to the zoo today so actually had some pictures to get developed haha” and he was like “that’s so cool! what’s your favourite animal?” I told him the giraffe and tiger and he got all excited and told me they were his favourite as well. and then he asked how I’ve been and how school was going and everything.. like making actual conversation. even if I was like blushing like a stupid person and smiling at everything he said… my sister was like “HE WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU!! just ask him out already!” and my mom told me that’s why she left was so that we could “talk”… and it’s like I really do like him, and I really do want to ask him out, but at the same time I don’t know how he feels, I don’t want to be rejected and laughed at AGAIN and just.. I’m not good enough for him.. he’s tall, thin, perfect hair, sweet, not too deep of a voice, clear skin, super nice, perfect smile, and has gorgeous eyes. I’m really tall (he is taller than me though), fat, bad hair, awkward, deeper voice than 99% of girls, acne everywhere, overly sensitive, messed up smile since I lost my retainer, and I  have poop brown eyes…… we even have the same taste in music…

he’s just way too good for me.. I’m a worthless piece of shit almost 18 year old and he’s an awesome 20 year old…

can we pretend like we’re in the movies and the awkward geeky girl can get the tall hot guy?