idk whats wrong with me. no matter what i do nothing is good enough. I have a d in calc and im questioning gender again and march 15 is coming up. i planned to die two years ago on that day and fuck. everything hurts and i wanna relapse and i’ve lost all motivation to stay clean or do anything and fuck. i just want everything to be over.
not good enough
every time a relationship starts to deepen, my brain starts to protest and makes me feel pain I can’t understand. But I think tonight, I finally understand where all this pain stems from. My excuses for running away from someone I like are “they don’t really like me in that way” or “I am not good enough for them”. If I look back to my childhood, I realize that my mom gave me mixed signals about love. I was loved if I was obedient, and I was given the cold shoulder if I disobeyed. I was not taught how to love or what real love was. I was taught that to get feelings of safety and warmth, I had to obey; I had to be a certain way; I had to do certain things; I had to suppress certain feelings, certain words inside of me lest my mom disapproved of me. My mom’s love has always been conditional. Her love was not really love, it was approval. Even at 26, I am still trying to define what “real love” is. I konw what real love is not, but I don’t know what real love is. Or maybe I am just too afraid to find out. Either way, I run away and I avoid feelings…. and everyday I understand more and more why.
Everyone at my home attacked me today.
Why? well lets just start with my mother.
So lately she’s been really mean to me for no reason. You’re probably thinking that it must of been for something, but no no reason at all. She says things to me like “i wish i never had you”, “you are pathetic and worthless”, “you’re a female dog” etc…
And what i do is walk away or ignore her.
Ok lets move on to my father. if i try to emotionally connect with anyone is my dad but he always pushes me away. example, “i don’t want to hear it”, “Can you just stop”, or when he gets mad at me he says, “you’re whats wrong with this family”, “Shut up” “can you just shut up for the rest of your life”..
My sister, she attacks me when i tell her boyfriend to stop being rude to me. She attacks me and tells me not to talk to him like that, when he was being rude to me! i don’t get it.
My other sister always tells me how I’m not good enough. “you are ugly”, “you are lazy” “you are stupid” etc.
Today is the day i got it from everyone.
So i grabbed i cord, tied it around my neck and hung myself inside my closet.
i blacked out or something kuz i woke up in the floor.
The bar from my closet room had broke, i guess when i was passed out.
It just sucks being around people who hate me.
and i just wish i were stronger. I have no one. no family that cares about me nor friends. i just wish that when i walk outside my door someone comes up to me and just shoots me straight in the head because although i don’t want to be here. its hard committing suicide.
I wish I could tell the people closest to me that I want to end it all.. I wish someone would say: “It’s okay, you can let go.”
I just want to end the pain, the sadness, the constant voice in my head saying that I’m not good enough for anyone or anything.
Last night I was told that nobody will ever love me. I believed that I was destined for love. Now I don’t believe in it anymore.
Does it make me a sinner for wanting to die??
I sit alone in my house, overwhelmed by emptiness which I must admit sounds like a strange sensation. It began in my chest and climbed its way up my throat and just sat there. The pressure is unbearable and it is a struggle to breathe. I can feel my heartbeat pounding in my head and I lay down and concentrate on my breathing. Breathing in I try and count to 9 then attempt to hold the air in my lungs for 9 seconds before breathing out slowly for 9 seconds. I read online that this was meant to help. It does to an extent. Although i don’t think it’s the act of breathing that helps but the counting. The counting helps to take my mind off the emptiness.
As I sit here alone I can’t help but to ponder as to why I am here. What does it matter. Deep down I know that it matters to my family that I am here. But the little voice in my mind can’t help but asking “what is the point?” Everyone dies eventually so why not now? Yet at the same time the act of dying terrifies me. So much that it leads to the overwhelming emptiness taking control of my body. So why would I even consider doing something that scares me so much?
Sitting here I know that many others are sitting alone too. Thinking the exact same thoughts that I am. We begin and end each day, walking around in our dreary lives not accomplishing anything substantial. Even if you do complete an amazing endeavour who is honestly going to care? What makes winning a gold medal in the olympics any better than passing a subject at school. Who is to decide what is considered important and what is not? After you die your family will remember but after they are gone no one will remember at all. And if they do remember what does that even mean? It means nothing to you because you are gone.
I try to be positive and I like to think that if we are going to live out this meaningless life we might as well spend it doing something we enjoy. If you are going to spend your whole life working you should do something you love! The tricky bit is finding something that you love enough to spend your whole life doing. I decided to go with journalism. I don’t know if i do love it but i guess I loved the idea of giving someone a voice that ceased to have one. Someone that was ignored. Someone who is treated the way I feel.
Tonight I sit here thinking about running away or to simply disappear. Hence the reasoning as to why I ended up on this site. Those four words brought me here via google. “I want to disappear.” I think how easy it would be not to feel this emptiness, the way it constantly sits at the pit of my stomach. Although I am extremely glad that I did so happen to stumble upon this site. I feel so so alone and I hope that this rant helps me to connect with others.
I think to myself that I just want to be happy. Happiness was one of my new years resolutions. But what is happiness? True happiness? How do you achieve this?
I do have several friends but they all have closer connections with others and I am always the one left out. I tried to make a new friend recently and she ended up turning on me then attempting to turn my other friends on me. Every relationship I have had has ended in them cheating on me. So I can’t help to wonder… what the hell is wrong with me? I am not good enough to be anyones best friend or lover. I know it sounds stupid even as I write it but I am honestly just craving human connection in the hope that this will bring me happiness. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I don’t want to be ignored. I want to be loved. I want to be adored. I want to be wanted.
It’s so hard to write about this. U’ll be the first people who will know the truth about me even though you even don’t know my real name.
So…When my mom was pregnant, it turned up she had MS. This cannot be cured. There is no treatment. No chance. It can only gets worse. And it gets. I was the child she was going to born. My mom had the second, healthy baby but I’d like not to be ever born. If I hadn’t be born, she would be healthy now. She could be leading a happy life with my father and sister.In the first years she could walk. I remember small me, helping her. Moving her feets so she could get to the kitchen. Then I went to school. I didn’t tell anyone about the illness of my mother. She told me not to do that. I think she has always been ashamed of her disease even though it’s my fault, not her. Right now…She is in really bad condition. She hasn’t got enough strenght to move. Luckily, my sister is strong enough to help her. I’m too weak, not good enough. I do my best, but that’s never enough. This disease is destroying us all. No one in this home is happy. Everyone is angry, disappointed with their lives. I love my mom and I’m praying to God. I ask him to take my life and give my mom her health back, but he doesn’t listen. DOES HE NOT HEAR ME? I deserve for death! My mom should have never been ill. She had so many dreams…Travelling, continuing her career. Right now she is at home all the time. She’s afraid of new people, ashamed of herself. If it hadn’t been me, it could be so different.
I am the reason why she is crying.
You know what? That’s just one of the reasons why I want to leave. That’s even funny, isn’t it?
I’ve seemed to stumble into a place where everyone tells lies to me. Those I love, those I am of service to, those I call family, my society, my government, my country, my species, and even myself. If that is not a hard concept to grasp, or even handle, I don’t know what is. We are all living in a place where it is rewarded to lie, but the moment you are caught, you pay colossal penalties. Not only does it feel like everyone is against everyone, we have decided that, as a whole, “all for one” was the best way to achieve greatness; unknowingly did we just put our own species into a evolutionary stunting circle in the long run, we have destroyed, killed, maimed, manipulated, and twisted the likes of our kind across the world and expanding this idealism of hate and individual greatness at the expense of others into god knows how many generations to come.
And yet all the while as our species as a whole is coming crashing down and shaking each and every one of our foundations (since we are all connected), those of us on this site and millions of others lie to ourselves that we are not good enough. We feed ourselves these harsh and painful blows that can make even the toughest and thickest skinned man cripple to his knees. I first-hand am a victim of my own lies and hurtful ways. But it’s high time I start changing those approaches and silencing those voices. This is my statement not only to you, but to me as well; I am better than all of the lies I aim at tearing myself down. I am stronger and more compassionate than those voices could ever begin to imagine. I am a person that, in my few moments of saneness and contentness, chooses to fight to be here everyday.
If you have gotten to the bottom of this, thank you. Reading the words I write to the vastness of the internet now falls on your screen and you have chosen to wade through my bullshit. I hope that whatever you are doing, wherever you are, whomever you are, and why ever you have decided to finish this long promise to myself, that you are okay. If you are happy, I am grateful you feel that way; if you are sad, please take the last energy you have to care for yourself. I love you very dearly and hope only the best comes your way. If there is anything I can do for you or any one of you, please don’t hesitate to comment. It would be no burden on my shoulders, for it helps humans overcome traumatic events if there is someone there who can even remotely understand their pain. I love and care for you. I hope you are having a fantastic night <3
Trying to be happy and supportive for someone you care about when you’re just broken inside and watching them live the dreams you’ve always wanted to reach is such a test of your kindness and acceptance. When you know your dreams are going under-appreciated, you don’t have the ability to reach them, and it’s just handed to someone who doesn’t even know how much it pains you to see them there where you should be, your heart just shatters.
You bite your lip to keep them from knowing you hate them inside. You crawl into bed early and force yourself to eat when you’re no longer hungry so that you don’t end up crying yourself to sleep. You break down and cry anyways and as the food falls out of your mouth, you begin to hate yourself and hate them less. You start to wonder where you went wrong and what you could have done differently to get to the place they are. You cry harder and start to choke on your snot draining down the back of your throat because you know it’s pointless. You can find and make every possible excuse that it’s your fault, but it’s worse knowing it’s actually not.
It’s paralyzing being aware that there was and is not a damn thing you can do to be where they are, in what you’ve defined is your place, due to the life you were born into. Money, health, education…. the things they all have that you don’t because their parents had what yours don’t. And here you are, following your parents’ life map, going down the same rigid, dark course. Despite the fact that they starved themselves so you and your siblings could eat well, they sold their most cared for belongings so that you could play soccer with the other kids in school, they wore rough clothes to their jobs so that you could wear nice outfits to class, and they worked shit jobs constantly so that your repeated hospital bills could be met, they still weren’t good enough.
They were to me then, and they still are because I know they did everything they could for me, but now I’m not good enough for my dreams because they couldn’t pay for my college or a car or a vacation. Your mind as a child wasn’t tainted with the reality that your parents’ lives actually sucked with the exception of the love they have for you, they protected you from that and you’re beyond grateful they did. However, now, at 22 years old, you begin to see that reality and comprehend that things really do come easier for some people and there’s nothing you can do about that but try your best to be the loving, generous, kind-hearted, and compassionate soul your parents raised you to be, no matter how much it breaks you.
You stand there on the porch in your white socks, just barely out of the cold puddle, and you smile and wave goodbye to the person you care so deeply for as they drive away for the night to go live your dream, thanking God for the rain. It’s a blessing that disguises your tears. The clouds darken the night sky quickly and you see this fitting, since your heart feels heavy, gray, and empty like the cold, too. Can you ever truly be happy for someone you love if you’re holding on to this pain? If you let go, can you ever become one with acceptance for the unattainable for you, and fill yourself with joy that it has become attainable for someone you love?
I’m sure it’s possible…. But, now what do I have left if I let go of my dreams?
I am crazy in love with this guy, but we havent talked in a while.i have been in love with him since i was like 12 and ive never stopped loving him, i am 19 btw. he is in my mind all day and all night i dont know how to tell him, im afraid that im not good enough for him. im terrified that i might get hurt. but i dont think i could live without him. i dont think ill even stop loving him. no matter what other guys are in my life i cant seem to forget about him. what do i do? do i tell him? im scared but i dont want to be, i want to tell him, i want him to know but im so terrified.
Why do some people have to go threw life with “not good enough” stamped on there forehead?
I was hanging in the bathroom by my neck 20 min ago and my legs went numb. I wasnt strong enough, so I let my self down. I’m a 23 year old women and I’m in college. I am very alone. I don’t like to express myself emotionally because I tried it before but no one understood me. Sometimes I wonder if there’s anyone out there who feels like no one in the world understands you- who feels alone. I don’t know where to go or where to turn. I feel suffocate- stuck in a corner- always pretending everything is alright. But I’m tired and I can’t live with the pain I feel inside. Its overwhelming and I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. Your probably wondering what happened to me that makes me feel this way.. But honestly, it’s nothing. I just never felt like I belonged- ever since I was a little girl. I had friends all my life and a big family but I always felt alone and misunderstood. Like if I where a different species trying to feel at home but missing something so deep and meaningful. There’s a big void in my existence but I yet seem not knowing what that void is.
I try not to but how can that occur. Im old i missed out on life and i want to die. I try to give myself hope sometimes i even succed. But death would be better. Depression is cureless in people who have had it their entire lives. People who have had useless pain filled lives. I cant look forwards or backwards in my life without seeing pain. I cant look at my current life wit out seeing pain. Without being told by life that loneliness and depression is all i deserve and that im not good enough for more than pity maybe. Some days i feel my heart beat out of my chest and i pray it’ll be the end. That I’ll be done with this misery but i continue to live.
This week has been completely terrible for me but then again everyday is kinda bad for me. I’ll always be able to find something to make me more upset than i already am. I’ve been thinking more than i usually do on a daily basis. I’m 16 right now and a sophomore in high school. everyone’s is telling me that i need to make a decision about what Im going to do in the future. What classes I should take to benefit my future, what college i need to go to. what career I am interested in and etc. there’s only one profession I’m interested in and that’s being an artist. the only problem is that i know I’m not good enough to be accepted in any colleges. I know Im not smart enough. What if I make the wrong decision? I also know that either way, I will be extremely unhappy with my adulthood because I truly have nothing to look forward to in my life.
I know how worthless and unwanted I am. I know that know one cares or will care that I’m gone. My body aches from frequent self harm and I just cant take it anymore.
This is my first post and I didn’t have and exact idea of what i wanted to say…this is just what I’ve been thinking… ^-^
I recently broke up.. and its my 2nd break up n in both relationship’s I was very serious.. when I had my 1st breakup my friend , helped me to get over it.. and I fell for him.. and also he lykd me so he took great care of me n helped a lot to move on.. and eventually I started lying him and loving him.. I don’t knw whether it was wrong or right.. I loved him.. and I loved him a lot.. more than I have loved anyone ever.. but he left.. even though he knew I would be devastated, he knew how broken I was after my 1st breakup.. but he didn’t bothered… now I doubt whether he actually loved or not.. its more than a month and I tried everything to get over him… forget him.. but I m not able to.. I want him back.. know that wont be possible.. he wont ever come back… I don’t know what to do.. I try to live my normal life.. but its too hard.. when I am around people I smile, I pretend I am ok but deep down I want to cry, deep down I am completely shattered just want to end my life.. so that for once and all this pain ends.. I cant take it any longer.. and there is a feeling inside me that I am not good enough for anyone or anything.. I am not worth anything to anyone.. I feel no one would ever love me.. no one would every want me…theres nothing left and no reason to live.. but still death wont come to me.. I tried to kill myself but I was saved… I need a way to end it.. either me or this feeling…
My doctor thinks I might have an endocrine disorder since my hormones are somewhat off and due to some “symptoms” that I have like hirsutism, excessive sweating, and slight edema in the face. I just thought that I was a hairy person (although the facial hair is relatively new), that lamictal caused the sweating (and hot flashes), and that that was just how my face is genetically (somewhat “pudgy”). I don’t see an endocrinologist until the 14th, but she went ahead and prescribed me metformin- supposed to help regulate my hormones. When I see the endocrinologist I’ll probably have more blood work done to see if maybe I have a thyroid problem or PCOS.
In a way, I’m almost glad I might have an endocrine disorder. Last year when my regular physician thought I had PCOS I was relieved- it would explain why I’ve felt the way I have and why drugs don’t work on me (lamictal is the one exception, but even that isn’t enough to put me into “remission”). It also makes me angry though, frustrated that it took this long to diagnose it. If I do have PCOS, then I’ve always had it- why couldn’t it have been discovered earlier? Why did I have suffer through ten years of depression and useless meds?
I am so tired of being depressed, of having to drag myself through the motions, of crying on a daily basis, of feeling like I can’t enjoy the things that I know that I do factually. I’m tired of loss, of grieving- two deaths and the end of my most significant relationship in the last 6 years. And this is on top of the depression, anxiety, and the more day-to-day disappointments (like waking up crying from anxiety for such an extended period of time that I have to withdraw from my classes that semester).
I feel like the loss of my fiance is killing me. I know that’s how it’s going to be for a while, where each day is painful and hard to get though, but I am so tired. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.
Some moments I can force myself to be strong (sort of), to think that I don’t want to let this destroy me- that I will recover and find someone else who makes me just as happy (or more) and who wants to spend their life with me- and would fight for it during the hard times. I try to remind myself that “living well is best revenge” (revenge isn’t really the right word, but that’s the best I can express the sentiment) and that I can do it- I can be successful and be relatively happy even while grieving. Part of me wants to recover and have her see that she didn’t destroy me and, selfishly, to see that I’m doing better than she is (even though that’s unlikely seeing as she’s smarter than me and has better social skills).
But those moments never last long. There are moments where the shock hits me- the unbearable pain that she chose to leave me just cuts right through me. The loneliness I feel without her; where I used to cry on her shoulder I now cry alone, feeling like there’s no one who cares. I feel so betrayed that she could leave me- I couldn’t have left her; she was family to me, permanent. It hurts to be rejected, let alone by the person who is the best thing to ever happen to me (I hope that someday this will no longer be true). It hurts to see her pushing me away, speaking to me as if I’m an acquaintance as opposed to the person she called her wife only six weeks ago. I feel like I was just discarded, not good enough for her, and I’m the one losing- the one who feels like they’ve lost everything. I’m going to just stumble along, sadly, while she succeeds in school and in life- I’d be willing to bet she gets into another serious relationship before I do. She always seemed to be getting hit on (maybe because she looks gay where I don’t?).
I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to be happy as much as I do now. Maybe because I believe it’s possible now. Or maybe the TMS is working and I am less depressed (I think I might be, but it’s hard to tell since I’m still sad due to grief). I even tried yoga to help with my anxiety and I hate yoga (although I did feel like the alternate nostril breathing helped, way more than the square breathing technique that a counselor taught me). I have even forced myself to smile at times, something my ex said helped her when she was in the hospital.
I hate the grieving process. I just want to be at the fucking acceptance stage already.
I don’t mean that I’m a failure as a person or that my fiance leaving me means I’m not “good enough,” but that I failed to be the person that she wanted to be with, the person she felt she could be with. I failed to be the person she thought of as family, as someone permanent.
This is what hurts the most.
It doesn’t help that I feel like I’m the one left behind, the one who’ll take longer to recover (if ever?). She’ll go back to school this semester, taking five classes (although honestly, based on her track record, I suspect she’ll drop at least one of them- she always thinks she can take on that much, but it never worked out that way), and do well not only in her grades but in creating relationships that could give her recommendations.
Compared to her, I’m not a good student. I’m supposed to graduate in December and I don’t have anyone to give me recommendations. Even when I was with her (and before) it seemed like every semester my depression and/or anxiety fucked something up- last semester I had to drop my math classes which meant extending my graduation. And now, with her gone, it’s going to be so hard. I thought that this semester would be different- I’d thought that with my depression finally improving I’d actually do well in classes. I wouldn’t be paralyzed by anxiety, I’d be able to talk to teachers (and peers) more easily and often, my brain wouldn’t feel so slow, and maybe I’d even do better grade-wise. But now, even if my depression goes away or improves significantly, I’m still going to be sad. So incredibly sad. I feel like I’m right back to where I was four years ago: depressed, lonely, and grieving.
It feels worse this time, even though that sounds awful (I was grieving a death last time). Maybe because before I didn’t believe I could be happy, that something really good could happen to me- finding the woman I want to spend my life with. Experiencing it only lose it is so incredibly painful.
After a decade of depression and anxiety and other bullshit, I feel like I deserved this happiness, to experience not being depressed and being with the woman I was going to spend my life with. I’m tired of my life being just a series of traumatic and sad events that are constantly weighed down by depression and anxiety.
The sadness is a heavy weight in my chest, a deep empty feeling.
It’s better than being angry, I think, but this pain is so consuming. If I’m not actively distracting myself (and even sometimes when I am) I can just feel her absence, the loss.
I don’t want to feel this way. I’m so tired of being sad. And even worse, I think I’d be happy if my heart wasn’t broken. After ten years I finally feel like my depression is lifting, but I still feel incredibly sad anyway.
It still feels unreal, that she left. She’s my best friend- I was her best friend- and I thought we could get through anything. I thought she was willing to fight for us. I don’t know if it matters why she left, but that she could do it. That she no longer wants to be with me. I know it doesn’t have to do with me being “not good enough” but it still feels like I failed- I failed to be the person she wanted to be with, to be the person she’d always fight for. It hurts so much that she choose not to be with me, that she doesn’t think of me as family.
And we still haven’t fully separated our stuff. I don’t know if that’ll make it better, once we no longer have to see or talk to each other. Or maybe that would be worse. Part of me wants to let go of her, to push those feelings away- having the separation be final would help I’d think. But the other part of me can’t bare it- I still feel like she’s family. How can I give up on that, on her? I want her so much but I also don’t want to want her- I want to be fucking happy for once.
I am so incredibly sad that I never got to experience being with her and not being depressed, and that she never got to experience it either. I wish I had gotten the TMS sooner or that we’d have lasted just another month or two. I was so close to not being depressed and being happy with my life situation. For years I never thought it was possible, but then it seemed like it would- only to fall apart only weeks before.
I really want to have someone to share my life with, to be my best friend, to have a family with. I know, factually, that can still happen. But right now I feel so lonely and hurt. I want to move on and to find “my person”, but I know that won’t happen for a while. Who knows how long it’ll take to get over her and who knows how I’ll meet someone I want to date- I don’t exactly have much of a social life. And being sad really doesn’t help with making friends or anything more. I felt like I’d only met her out of luck, that I was so lucky to have found someone so perfect for me. I can’t imagine how I’d get so lucky again.
Great, now I’m crying- I miss her so much it feels unbearable.
It’s been for some years now. That feeling of loneliness and sorrow.
Since my only best friend I’ve ever had abandoned me, I didn’t find any real friends anymore. I don’t know why, but it seems that I’m just so very different from anyone else in my class and my surrounding. People think I’m strange. They avoid me. If we need to do group work in class everyone will sit happily together with their friends and I, well, I’m just standing there trying desperately to find someone to team up with me but no one hears me.
No one is on my side and helps me out, no matter what’s going on.
And the only person I could have told about my pain and sorrow, died some years ago.
I miss her. So much. I’m sure she would have heard me out and maybe she even could have helped me if she had been still alive.
I hate myself.
Why? There are too many reasons to give them all here, so I will just name two of them: Well, first of all I hate myself for being so damn ugly. When people see me in the public many of them just point their fingers at me and scream “Haha, look at that ugly face of her!” and stuff like that.
I also hate me, and that’s one far more important reason, because it seems that I just cause everyone nothing but trouble. My very few friends, well they are no real good friends because I can’t rely on them and they are never there when I need them, are practically always angry with me for some reason. Everything I do is wrong. It doesn’t matter what, I never do it in the correct way.
I really try hard every day to do things better and keep control over myself. To control the sorrow. My tears. I hate to cry but when no one sees me I do this pretty often. However, I just fail. Always. Since I don’t have real good friends, school got even more important to me as it already was but again I fail. The class tests are not good enough and I can’t concentrate completely.
I think of myself as a failure. As a disappointment. If the pain grows too big I’ll take my knife and just cut myself. It helps. Not much, though, but it helps at least a bit to get over it. But then again it results in other problems, that I need to hide the cuts and the scars from my family.
I just want to get rid of all the pain, all the disappointments, all the trouble, all the worries, all the sadness, all the grief. I want to stop it. Forever.
It hurts. But no matter how deep I cut, I know, it will never be deep enough to erase my pain.
I’m scared. I feel I’m getting close to do it. And I’m afraid. I don’t want to leave. I could have a long life. I just have to endure for more 10 months. But I can’t. It’s too much anxiety and stress. I’m starting to hear that I have to be better, I have to do more and to speak more. I’m trying but I’m not good enough and I will never be. Every criticism, every fail breaks my heart.
I went to bought one more bottle of pills, but it was sold out. I don’t know if I have pills enough to kill myself but I don’t care. Maybe part of me want to fail the attempt. Maybe I just want to receive help and take a time to rest. But if I survive I would be ashamed to speak to my parents again. It would be really embarrassing.
I don’t want to die so early. I have many things I wanted to do. But I’m too weak to continue. I’m too fragile. I can’t handle being a disappointment.
for the first time in a long time I feel happy, and it’s not because of anyone but myself. I feel so empowered. I’m starting to wear my tragedies as armor instead of shackles. life is 10 % what happens to you and 90 % how you react to it. I’m tired of being sad and not feeling like I’m not good enough. I know in my heart I’m worth being saved and if no one is willing to save me I’ll become my own hero. only then can I say I made it. I’m half way there and I won’t stop until the life I’ve created is filled with nothing but joy and genuine love <3