Sometimes I feel like dying

Hi my name is brittany and im 17 years old.  I’ve always been teased since the 4 grade up until now. People always made fun of me because I am fat and I never understood why people would say so many mean hurtful things to me, I was always nice to people. I would always help people and give people candy , and compliment those who were mean to me. When I was in the 6th grade I wanted to commit suicide because of the constant teasingof being called fat. It was like I could never get a break from being tease , and up until this day there are still people who make fun of my weight. I’ve even had family members tell my cousin not to get as fat as me. I stress out alot over school, because im always trying to get better grades especially in math but I never do. I have friends but I have 3 people who I call my best friends, but 2 of them live in different states. The other nest friend goes to my school and we hang out sometimes but she can just never understand how I feel. Shes always pushing me to get my grades up and to study more and she always tells me im not trying hard enough when i actually am, and I know she does it because she cares but sometimes I wish she would just be there for me instead of telling me what to do, becaue im already trying to bring my grades up and I dont need someone telling me im not. Then theres my dad , he wants me to be up his butt 24/7 he expects me to to do all these things and he talks bad about my mom and tells lies about my mom to his side of the family about that aren’t true. Even when he talks bad about her my mom has still been there for him through hard times. He calls me fat and jus insalts me. Now my mom on the other hand , shes loving and caring, but sometimes she can never understand the oain I go through. Everytime i try to talk to her she gets off topic and never fully pays attention to what I try to tell her which is VERY annoying.  She also never really spends time with me , I always wanted to have that mother-daughter relationship where we can go out to lunch and shop and hang out but all she wants to do is lay down all day. And here is where the lonley part comes in. I’ve had a few boyfriends before like 3 but never a serious relationship. I always feel lonley like I have no one to turn to no one can NEVER understand my side of things and that makes me mad/sad and frustrated.  I wish I had that one friend who could just listen to me and give me good adivce. I feel like a waste of space, sometimes I ask my self why am I even here? I know God put me here for a reason but I just feel like dying sometimes.  I feel worthless, stupid, irrelevant, depressed, lonley, jus like a big fat blob of nothing. Im justnot sure about life anymore and somtimes just want to commit suicide and get it over with.