i know we have a business empire. and i know that you’re looking to your kids as the future leaders of the business, but i want you to know, before i leave, that there is something much much more important than our business.
although i am very thankful that you have built it up to be what it is, maybe it’s time to look at your kids and really see how they are feeling. personally, i feel nothing but disappointment and neglect. disappointment because i know that i have not yet reached the dreams and expectations you have of me. neglected because rather than really look at what we’re doing and how we’re feeling as your children, you’d rather us take sides when you fight.
i know i was raised to be a fighter, to overcome stuff, and i know that thinking of suicide will only bring about a big disgrace to the family and hurt. but rather than looking at the negative aspect of it, i hope that my leaving will serve a purpose.
maybe it’s time to stop treating us like future leaders in business, and start treating us as your kids. we have already perfected keeping appearances. personally, i have already perfected the fake smile i give away whenever i greet your friends, but please realize that my genuine smile is sweeter.
and please please please.. take care of my three younger brothers..they all have their special talents..and i’m scared that you’re gonna be hard on them when i leave..
i hope you know that i love you both a lot. and hopefully in time, you will forgive me for what i did..
i love you mommy. i love you daddy. and please tell my younger brothers that i love them so much.
4 comments
Have you thought about taking control of your life? Once you turn 18, you don’t have to deal with your parents anymore. Committing suicide just to make a statement to your parents is unnecessary. Simply refusing to take over the family business is enough. Tell them what you think to their faces, and then walk away from it all.
Here are the benefits of doing that.
1. You don’t hurt your brothers.
2. You have the ability to prove to your parents that their way isn’t the only way.
3. You have the ability to clarify how you feel to your parents, rather than leave them confused with a vague suicide note.
4. You have the opportunity to experience and enjoy other parts of life.
You may find out your parents are trying to do what they think is best for you. They aren’t perfect. A lot of parents like to envision their children as the best people in the world.
honestly, going away seems like the best option for me. i’m a chinese girl living in the philippines, and we’re not given a lot of options unlike in other parts of the world. and i’m just tired of hearing constant remarks about how disappointed i make them feel. i know i’m being very selfish, but i guess i’m just really tired. i’ve been feeling down for almost two years already, and honestly, i don’t want to go on feeling tired, down and worthless.
Well, I’m sorry to hear that. You’re right, I don’t know much about your options given where you live. Plus, different races have different parenting styles. I’ve heard asian parents have extremely high expectations of their children. They always set the bar out of reach. This is dangerous since it makes kids feel inadequate no matter how well they do.
Do yourself a favor though and take some time to think of another way. Explore the options you do have. Try to map out all possible futures/outcomes in your mind. If all else fails, well, you still have that last option.
I read a lot about chinese culture some time ago (to better understand a friend), and as DFF says, it is a common thing for asian parents to be stupidly high expectation of their children. That just makes them feel inadequate and neglected, and it seems to carry into generations (not caring much about sons, then those sons don’t worry about their sons, etc). I remember my friend refered to parents pretty much the same way you did too. But in the long run you make and live your own life, for your own reasons, and certainly not for meeting parents expectations or anybody else’s for that matter.
It’s hard to make your parents change, but there is more choices than ending it. If you can’t get them to understand maybe you could go live with a friend, with other family, go live on your own (i know it’s hard but it’s better than taking your own life), or take any other choice that you can/want. Even telling them what you wrote here (if you haven’t already) could lead to a solution.