I’m tired.
Life’s for those who can handle it.
Not me.
Suicide is for those who are brave enough to bid farewell.
Not me again.
So where do I fit in?
I’m closer to suicide. The pills, fast trains, slim blades, deep oceans – I don’t want to be here anymore.
I can’t endure anymore pain.
14 comments
You fit in. It just takes a while to find the right door.
Well said, Randall…….
We have a real cavalcade of characters here….old, young, male, female, severely ill or lost and deeply alone. Give yourself the time to find the peer group that can help you through the scary times. I think you’ll be surprised at the demographics of who your helpers might be. We don’t “fit in” anywhere, in the traditional sense….so we chose to blur the boundaries and reach out when we find someone who might need our help…and often find help in the helping.
Wow i can relate to this on so many levels. The pain is too much to deal with and i’m getting closer to suicide each and every day.
What if I don’t find the right door, Randall? How long can I keep deluding myself into believing that one day I’ll find my place and peace of mind?
I’m giving myself time to find the rind peer group out of cowardice – I feel that I will kill myself, not today and maybe not tomorrow, but I will. It’s sort of inevitable. The thing is I ‘fit’ in in the traditional sense. I’m two three different people – A happy, confident girl in front of my peers in college, a slightly more edgier character in front of my family and then my true self behind the locked door of my bedroom. It’s just so difficult.
*to find the right peer group…
So what are the characteristics of your ideal peer group? Or really.. who are you?
sometimes we hide; we hide who we are, we hide from what we can be, we hide from all the bad things in life, and honestly that’s ok to do sometimes but when we do it so much that we don’t know where we belong anymore that’s when we lose all hope of anything good happening to us
Who am I? Do you know what? I really don’t know anymore.
I don’t even know who I am, I’m just another soul whose wondering and looking for it’s self, I’ a person whose scared and looking for another person who is lost just like me
That’s unfortunate. You’re going to have to find yourself before you find your group.
I’m aware of that. Hopefully, I’ll possess enough strength to find myself and then a place where I truly belong.
The_Red_Fairytale, I’m sorry that you feel so lost and insecure. Most of us on this site are just like you so don’t worry about finding someone who’s just as lost as you because I think you already have.
I know what you are talking about, by the way. The feeling that you can’t connect with other people in any meaningful way. It’s tough. It takes time. You can’t just snap your fingers and connect with someone. Start by finding people with similar hobbies or interests and work from there.
My interests are so damn niche that I can’t find anyone myself. I’ve been out of my college years for a while; it was easier back then. Every friend I’ve ever made I tried to look back and understand how it happened, but they just sort of evolved on their own, and I never went in with the expectation that we would be friends. Social dynamics are so crazy!