From Ashes

That sucks man (or maybe it only seems like it does right now).

Just be who you are, even if you change along the way; try not to worry about external expectations (i know this can be difficult). Do what’s right for you, and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. It’s a long road to wherever you’re going, whether you ever or never get there. Use the notion of an ideal (but realistic) destination, to guide you… but remember the real value is in the moments as they transpire.

“We only get what we can take; we only keep what we can protect.”

It’s often excessive expectation, to expect to be able to protect and thus keep someone else; we don’t get to choose their choices for them. You can explain things to people, but you can’t understand it for them. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force it to drink (though you can certainly run it to near exhaustion to influence its thirst… which still might not work). You can love someone with every fiber of your being, and all the vast expanses of your consciousness, with the greatest and most pure of intentions… but you can’t make them value that above whatever desires with which that love competes. Sometimes people find themselves torn between two incompatible desires, and sometimes one must be sacrificed to enable and/or sustain access to the other. Chasing more than one thing, in opposite directions, will tear most people apart. Consolidate your essence, energies, efforts, materials, and surrender what is beyond your ability to sustain or protect. Don’t over-commit or overextend or overreach. Know your self and your limits, assess your circumstance and position, and define clear incremental goals for yourself… and then like a muscle, expand and contract, fuel and exhaust, rage and rest, until you stabilize and strengthen enough to grow into your intended results. Rinse and repeat. And try not to feel shame for still being human and thus vulnerable to certain things. You’re allowed to be human and imperfect and weak, when it takes more than you’ve given and more than you can muster, to not be. Anyone expecting a godlike machine is expecting too much… and it wouldn’t be unreasonable to disregard the immature and underdeveloped opinions of such a person who would expect any such thing. Being human is hard as fuck sometimes, scary, painful, tedious… but sometimes, even when so much is wrong, it often still carries the potential to be quite rewarding. We can’t all stay awake and vigilant forever; sometimes we need a break. If we don’t spread the scarce and sacred knowledge we gain, to others… who will protect us while we sleep? And what better endeavor to pursue, while awake? What other more noble and righteous purpose could exist, than to transform the lessons we each learn, through endurance of persistent agony and injustices, into lessons for others, so that they will know how to continue without us, once we can no longer remain? But don’t forget or refuse, to keep some of yourself, for yourself. It’s okay to be a little selfish when you find yourself in need of the alms of your own kindness. When ready, feel free to attempt to reveal the location of clean water, to thirsty horses you think deserve it. Until then… try to have some faith that a thirsty horse can find the water it needs, if it really wants to drink.