Hi, cagetiger. I don´t know what you have been through, but if death is the path to your peace then okay, I understand. I hope you can find you peace and put an end to the suffering.
Death will definitely be my only path to peace, but I feel so much guilt knowing that I will leave a destroyed family behind to suffer. I want to be free of this life. I have been planning on using the detergent way out, but now I’m wishing for a way that would look like a natural death. I’ll have to research that…
Yes, I feel the same too. I too think death is the only path for me find my peace. I also have a family that I care about. Even though my life is a complete mess and a total disgrace, but I do not wish for my family to suffer even more after I am exclude from this world. So as you say, I will make it look like an accident. My idea is I will take a few days off and head on to a vacation and I will use that vacation as a disguise to track my family that I had an accident during my vacation. So they won´t feel they are responsible for my death yet they will keep living on their lives. And I will be in my peace.
Can I email you about that? I know that we aren’t allowed to discuss methods here, but I’m curious as to how you were thinking of making it look like an accident…
The book by Chris Docker is 700 pages long, but covers a hell of a lot more than one method. It is geared toward those who are terminally ill – because no one can encourage suicide. I read section one, got supplies, and have everything ready. Just need to breath normally and let go. I’m so close, but still hanging on by a thread.
Sometimes when I feel that way and then decide I am going to do it I feel a sense of relief. Then I start the planning again and often times the feeling passes while I am all over the place trying to find an easy painless sure fire method, which has been elusive thus far. It’s just not easy and the last thing anyone wants to do is further complicate their time here. I like your name btw.
A shoe in… I have had the same exact experience. I feel enormous relief once I start, but then the details and actually carrying it out becomes overwhelming.
Deathgreeter I find the helium hood method very unappealing. I don’t want anything on my head!! I guess that’s why I prefer the detergent method. Just being in a small enclosed space is much more plausible to me than to have my head in a bag/hood.
If it was easier to do, I guess there would more “success” stories. Can’t help but think that’s all part of the plan in keeping us around until we have run the full course whatever that may be.
It’s a very scary and difficult thing to do, but then I think that enduring this existence day after day for who knows how much longer is so much more difficult and that I should just tough it up and get it over with. My family and the suffering that they will have to live with is what really kills me.
Awe, thank you for saying that paingoaway. I am pretty compassionate and too sensitive and I think that’s partly the cause of so many of my problems. That and the many mental issues that I’m suffering from. I’ve read your posts by the way and I think you not only sound like a very caring person, I think that you have a lot to offer the world.
Oh and fyi, black men are hot! LOL I read that you would rather not be black, but I think different races are just as attractive as any other! I’m mixed myself, so I have darker skin and I used to think like you when I was younger, but now I’m okay with it. 🙂
I am hoping that a rotten tooth will kill me right now. Honestly, I have read on the net that rotten teeth can ultimately cause death, although unfortunately death cases don’t seem to be very frequent. I already have pain in my ear and my throat, so the infection is progressing… Nobody will miss me anyway.
tormentedsoul, my friend actually told me that his aunt had an infected tooth and died from it two days after the infection began. That doesn’t sound like a fast death tho, and also seems painful. It must be causing you pain, no? I’m so sorry that you’re also feeling this way. 🙁
Me too cagedtiger. I also hold back because of my loved ones. My mother is 82. How can I do that to her? what a way to repay her for all her love and loyalty throughout my life. But living and suffering purely so that our loved ones don’t have to, that sucks too. Personally I go on a suicide methods website to vent and be among people who understand and don’t try to dissuade me. I’m worried this thread will be locked or deleted, so I’m not mentioning the name of it.
Seppuku, my parents are around that age too. My daughter is 20. I don’t feel like my few friends or even my sister would be that effected, but I am 100% positive that my parents would be devastated and that it would almost surely be the end of them and quickly too. I’m not sure what would become of my daughter, but I see a lot of me in her and she may also end up taking her life or just be a lost suffering soul. It would definitely effect her.
You’re right, what a reward for being wonderful parents to a failure for all these years. I’m sorry that you feel this way also. 🙁
19 comments
Hi, cagetiger. I don´t know what you have been through, but if death is the path to your peace then okay, I understand. I hope you can find you peace and put an end to the suffering.
Thank you Deathgreeter,
Death will definitely be my only path to peace, but I feel so much guilt knowing that I will leave a destroyed family behind to suffer. I want to be free of this life. I have been planning on using the detergent way out, but now I’m wishing for a way that would look like a natural death. I’ll have to research that…
Yes, I feel the same too. I too think death is the only path for me find my peace. I also have a family that I care about. Even though my life is a complete mess and a total disgrace, but I do not wish for my family to suffer even more after I am exclude from this world. So as you say, I will make it look like an accident. My idea is I will take a few days off and head on to a vacation and I will use that vacation as a disguise to track my family that I had an accident during my vacation. So they won´t feel they are responsible for my death yet they will keep living on their lives. And I will be in my peace.
Can I email you about that? I know that we aren’t allowed to discuss methods here, but I’m curious as to how you were thinking of making it look like an accident…
the helium hood method is 700 pages long. I think as long as grotesque details aren’t included, they might let it slide..
The book by Chris Docker is 700 pages long, but covers a hell of a lot more than one method. It is geared toward those who are terminally ill – because no one can encourage suicide. I read section one, got supplies, and have everything ready. Just need to breath normally and let go. I’m so close, but still hanging on by a thread.
Sure, but I can´t really give you any advice that would work for you, just to let you know. But I will share them.
Email me at breakingsands@gmail.com
Can´t put email link in here, the one I posted is on moderation.
Sometimes when I feel that way and then decide I am going to do it I feel a sense of relief. Then I start the planning again and often times the feeling passes while I am all over the place trying to find an easy painless sure fire method, which has been elusive thus far. It’s just not easy and the last thing anyone wants to do is further complicate their time here. I like your name btw.
A shoe in… I have had the same exact experience. I feel enormous relief once I start, but then the details and actually carrying it out becomes overwhelming.
Deathgreeter I find the helium hood method very unappealing. I don’t want anything on my head!! I guess that’s why I prefer the detergent method. Just being in a small enclosed space is much more plausible to me than to have my head in a bag/hood.
Oh oops, it was takeeverything who mentioned the helium method. My apologies, I was wondering why you thought that would look accidental/natural?
If it was easier to do, I guess there would more “success” stories. Can’t help but think that’s all part of the plan in keeping us around until we have run the full course whatever that may be.
It’s a very scary and difficult thing to do, but then I think that enduring this existence day after day for who knows how much longer is so much more difficult and that I should just tough it up and get it over with. My family and the suffering that they will have to live with is what really kills me.
you sound like a very strong and caring person.
Awe, thank you for saying that paingoaway. I am pretty compassionate and too sensitive and I think that’s partly the cause of so many of my problems. That and the many mental issues that I’m suffering from. I’ve read your posts by the way and I think you not only sound like a very caring person, I think that you have a lot to offer the world.
Oh and fyi, black men are hot! LOL I read that you would rather not be black, but I think different races are just as attractive as any other! I’m mixed myself, so I have darker skin and I used to think like you when I was younger, but now I’m okay with it. 🙂
I am hoping that a rotten tooth will kill me right now. Honestly, I have read on the net that rotten teeth can ultimately cause death, although unfortunately death cases don’t seem to be very frequent. I already have pain in my ear and my throat, so the infection is progressing… Nobody will miss me anyway.
tormentedsoul, my friend actually told me that his aunt had an infected tooth and died from it two days after the infection began. That doesn’t sound like a fast death tho, and also seems painful. It must be causing you pain, no? I’m so sorry that you’re also feeling this way. 🙁
Me too cagedtiger. I also hold back because of my loved ones. My mother is 82. How can I do that to her? what a way to repay her for all her love and loyalty throughout my life. But living and suffering purely so that our loved ones don’t have to, that sucks too. Personally I go on a suicide methods website to vent and be among people who understand and don’t try to dissuade me. I’m worried this thread will be locked or deleted, so I’m not mentioning the name of it.
Seppuku, my parents are around that age too. My daughter is 20. I don’t feel like my few friends or even my sister would be that effected, but I am 100% positive that my parents would be devastated and that it would almost surely be the end of them and quickly too. I’m not sure what would become of my daughter, but I see a lot of me in her and she may also end up taking her life or just be a lost suffering soul. It would definitely effect her.
You’re right, what a reward for being wonderful parents to a failure for all these years. I’m sorry that you feel this way also. 🙁