General Protected: A diary of the misery and last days of pain by neddyboi 7/26/2014 written by neddyboi 7/26/2014 This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below: Password: backbadeasylastleftlookmy lifenumber 8 comments 0 Email Related posts Shit Show 10/26/2021 Disappointment. 10/25/2021 hollow 10/25/2021 :B P.R.I.D.E 10/25/2021 Biased assholes 10/24/2021 10/23/2021 Protected: Why i cant be your friend… 10/23/2021 Choose to live? 10/23/2021 Reasons to Live 10/22/2021 This photo perfectly summarizes how I feel 10/22/2021 8 comments marcusallan 7/26/2014 - 5:31 am Please dont do it. You have to choose to live, its the hardest thing dieing is so much easier but please choose life. It gets better, once you’ve been depressed for so long you cant see a way out of the pain but I promise it does. Lifes experiences are what make life worth living. You should consider going and seeing a doctor, everythings better once your on anti depressants. Its not your fault you feel this way, if you have depression you just have a chemical inbalance in your brain. But the good news is its completely and easily treatable and you will feel happiness again. Please just dont take your life, there’s a way out of this pain Log in to Reply neddyboi 7/26/2014 - 6:09 am I am already seeing a doctor. I have been on and off every medication known to man. Non of it makes any difference. The only time I am not depressed is when I am busy and around people. The problem is I have no one. I was seeing a shrink but I don’t see the point in throwing money aways when I don’t feel any better. I thank you for you kind words and I believe you are right over all. This how ever wasn’t a cry for help. More just a record of how I felt and why. The days leading up to it so maybe people will understand that there was no helping me and it was no one else’s fault but my own. Log in to Reply misanthrope 7/27/2014 - 5:51 am I think the heroin overdose is a good idea ..no pain.no mess,just lights out..im sorry you have a broken heart and spirit-im suffering from the same condition-all of us are I suppose,but not for the same reasons.I understand how fucking intolerable it gets. I wish you peace Log in to Reply marcusallan 7/26/2014 - 7:43 am I can see you’ve made up your mind already I only hope you’re 100% sure you cant deal with life anymore. it would be such a shame if you give up and this is when things were about to turn around for the best. You never know your day where everything gets better might only be a week away or next month.. it could just be around the corner. I hope you find your version of happiness, wherever that place be. Even if you do have to commit to get there, but I really hope you don’t, it takes great strength to keep fighting Log in to Reply clevername 7/26/2014 - 7:45 am “You never know your day where everything gets better might only be a week away or next month.. it could just be around the corner.” Dramatic romanticism. Some of us spend years watching our dreams get further away with each step, and there comes a time when you do know that what was worth all the previous struggles, is no longer feasible. Then you spend a while looking around for anything else you might have missed… any consolation… any substitute… and when you don’t find one, it comes to this. Log in to Reply silence_is_deafening 7/26/2014 - 12:42 pm So true, clevername. I would say it’s unrealistic romanticism…the idea that there is one person, place, thing, or situation ‘out there’ that will make everything better. It doesn’t exist. Even if we found some of what we were looking for, it doesn’t mean that it will last a lifetime. And it’s the long lonely years of continually searching and struggling with no happiness or purpose that makes life not worth living for many people, including me. Log in to Reply misanthrope 7/27/2014 - 5:35 am Yes,clevername…theres been several people throughout my life who told me “Dont leave 5 minutes before the miracle happens” plus a lot of other dont give up themed platitudes and it just like-ok I get it-i need to just be patient and maintain an attitude of hope and faith because good things will happen if I do…..well .this type of thinking has brought me to my knees and put me in the looney bin ,and OTHER very very bad things.It became intolerable to experience the disappointment AGAIN,and AGAIN and…I had to give up hope to remain alive and quasi functional/sane. Now…4 years after I stopped trying to find the man who was to be “the one” I am so lonely and miserable and sick -but I still know its preferable th the raging horror of being deeply in love and losing .I blame the fairy tale syndrome I contracted as a child-due to my blissfully happy mate for life parents,goddamn them.Thanks mom,Thanks dad..you set me UP ! Log in to Reply misanthrope 7/27/2014 - 6:11 am One more thing,Neddyboi-U are a sexy MFer:) and I find you to be extremely attractive. Log in to Reply Leave a Comment Cancel ReplyYou must be logged in to post a comment.Subscribe to comments: Don't subscribe All Replies to my comments Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.