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Just make the call and take it all again..

by alina_01
written by alina_01

Can the pain just stop, can it just FUCKEN stop for fucks sake. Can I get a chance to breathe can I catch a FUCKEN break?!!! Why, why the fuck do all these issues have to pile up why does life have to be so FUCKEN hard???! I swear times like this death seems like the right way to go. I genuinely try, I try so FUCKEN hard but life doesn’t get any easier. I carry around this FUCKEN pain and there’s nothing I can do to get rid of it!!! Because this pain is from the relazation of how fucked up life is!!! How I can’t save myself how I can’t save the people I love. How the love I do feel for a special person is doomed to failure. I can live with it, with this pain life can go on I can find someone else. But what’s the FUCKEN point if everything in life ends?? Why build new happiness if the end result is more pain?? Fuck me right I deserve all this shit I’m a terrible person….

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3 comments

M 7/24/2014 - 8:15 pm

Fun. I had the same argument using some of those same exact words with a family member today. I even ended it with a pretty similar line to the last one you said. The outcome? the person walked away after giving me a hug (that made me feel absolutely nothing at all). I guess that’s the problem, to rebuild things knowing there is a 50/50 chance they will fail/succeed (even if we think it’s pretty sure they will fail, it’s still 50/50) or just give up already. I guess all i can say is i’m sorry about your situation and i wish you the best (even if the best never seems to come).

alina_01 7/24/2014 - 8:30 pm

@M that’s the thing the best exists and if I haven’t had it yet I will but when I do the only thing to look forward to is loosing it like everything else.

M 7/24/2014 - 8:38 pm

I know, in the end it just seems like a futile hunt. I think realizing that is half the problem, the other half is making the decision of pursuing it or not and it’s only a problem because you already noticed that there’s a pretty strong chance that you’ll lose it. The thing is how long you can keep on going on the faith of getting “the best” and never losing it…

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