i know ppl dont care, but its nice when theY pretend to. they let me get close to them, thinking i could trust them, but than as soon as i do one little thing wrong, they turn their backs on me. I honestly couldnt care, i realized i havent talked to anyone in 2 days straight, and for once i felt better about myself. But than my supposedly “best friend” calls me a conceited *****. just because i dont want to talk. i only did this for me…… and the one time i do something for myself, im a selfish slut? like seriously what the hell?
anyway, besides that, Im Shae…. not that anyone will actually care or read this, its just easier at least just letting it all out. i dont even think anyone cares about me anymore. i hate it, i hate having to fake smile, i hate it so much. i hate crying myself to sleep almost every night, knowing im a fat worthless emo *****. im just a disappointment, no one even knows, how many times i tried to rip myself apart from the inside and out. i just want someone, who understands me, who wont judge. i want a real friend…i want someone who will actually cares. but all i do is push ppl away, and i dont even care about socializing, schools been out for two weeks, and none of my supposedly good “friends” have said to me, “hey wanna hang out or chill?’ no but i see on instagram, that their all hanging out together, just not with me. i honestly feel my time is coming up. im bullied so much…i even had to go to the hospital because of it. i see a therapist once every week, but i never really open up. i have almost 700 cuts on my body, im a hideous fat troll. i want to end it, i NEED to end it.
-Shae
P.s. Why do we even throw ourselves at opportunities anymore? When we know we will never be any good at it?
1 Reason you should live: Just so you know, someone who you may not even know that much, or someone who is just in your school/work/etc. They are thinking about you right now, thinking about how beautiful you are, how inspiring, kind, lovely, gorgeous, you are. so while your thinking of someone/something else, their thinking of you, and how your perfect.
Stay Strong My Perfect Imperfections
1 comment
One of the wonders of human being is that they erase your beautiful past .. for the first bad thing you did
If you hate faking smile then don’t it only make you feel worse .. only smile when you really mean it or when you look at tge mirror.. yes smile to youself try it … maybe you will hate your smiling face but then you will used to it and being ti love yourself
Being able to cry or crying all day long is better than not being able to cry at all
not being able to cry is the most cold,sad, deep dark feeling I’ve ever had
And always remember you are so much stronger than you ever thought and more beautiful than you think ? 🙂