I genuinely appreciate those who have read my posts and hope you can make it through your wars. But I don’t think I will. I fought it twice and I don’t have the strength to do it again.
I just wanted to say I came closer the other day than ever before. I never attempted, only thought and spoke and wrote and read about dying every day for 30 years. But Thursday I made initial covert arrangements to obtain in a hurry what I would need. It has been a relief to know I can get it done when I want. It’s empowering.
I don’t really know what to say here, but I almost just hanged myself (hung? not sure). Not the first time. The only reason I talked myself out of it is because I can’t stand the thought of my mom walking in on my dead body. I don’t want her to have to go through that. But I want to end it so badly. I’m so unhappy, and so confused and overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do.
I’ve been going to therapy for a few months now and I’m on antidepressants. But I don’t know how to talk to my therapist, and so nothing […]
Just ask! Come on, read these two lines out:
“Are you thinking about killing your self?”
“Are you thinking about taking your own life?”
See? That’s just how you do it. Now go. Ask him. Ask her.
People contemplating suicide want somebody to genuinely care. They want to be asked. They NEED to be asked that question. “Are you thinking about killing yourself?” What if your question could save a life?
Email: suesyd . nomore at g mail . co m
Facebook: Suesyd Nomore
It’s by one of my favourite internet writers, he always has a good way of knowing the underlying meaning in things:
For those who don’t want to read it, it’s about how today’s social dynamics abuse and imprison the arbitrarily selected bottom few. It’s mainly about the time of adolescents but I think it explains all stages of life. Because of the way the world works, it needs an amount of people in the bottom for it to function and it doesn’t care how much mental damage this causes those unfortunate enough to be caught in the “shit pit”. It’s one of those harsh reality articles […]
If you read the comments on Alan’s post last night, you saw he requested a picture of a china doll and a honey badger eating sushi on a surfboard in the desert.
Actually it was a request for Hazy, but I decided I would try it too.
I haven’t posted for a while, but I have popped in to read when I’ve been feeling low. It makes me feel better to know there’s others out there who share a similar emptiness inside.
I was on before banging on about my complete and utter loneliness. – well I sorted it, found someone who loves me and miraculously who I love in return. But it’s not enough. I’m still empty inside. I thought love was the answer, but all I do is push him away I try his patience and now after 10 months he’s ‘almost’ had enough. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me, […]
Here’s my latest project, finished last Sunday.
It’s supposed to reflect the upheaval and turbulence of needing answers to certain things, but not having those answers– and coming to terms with the possibility of never having them.
Title: Not Knowing
Instrumentation: Violin, Viola, Cello, Bass, Piano
For those of you who can read a score, here’s a screencap of the last five measures:
Hello again, everyone.
I know, most of you don’t know you, and the ones who do probably don’t remember me, but that’s ok.
I posted a few things some weeks ago, and talking with all of you made me realized I wanted to be better. I even start looking College where I can study psychology, Weird.
Anyway, it doesn’t matter now.
I wanted to apologize for not being around. I had you all in my mind all of this time, I prayed for all of you, but I didn’t feel strong enough to enter this site.
Now, I don’t feel strong enough to do anything, […]
So this is just a stupid rant so read or not. ..
Im sitting on a crowded bus with class dust and tiny fragments of glass from work stuck to my sweaty skin cos the air con is not working on this bus. Some guy has tried to jam himself onto my seat when its fucking abvious im having trouble folding my 6’4″ body into a seat made for a person who is 5′. I keep sweating and thatmmakes me more Iitchy.
I feel like everyone is staring at me. Anxiety thru the roof. 2 girls behind will not shut the fuck up!!
I’m sitting here in the dark, listening to the rain. It’s been raining a lot lately in the past month or so. I remember a few years ago the river flooding in low lying spots and coming within inches of flooding over the train track bridge. I don’t mind this rain at night or when I’m sleeping but during the day when I have to function it about kills me. I am not very tolerant of the cold and lately this has felt like an ice cold rain. There was one night in February I had to catch the bus home from work in an […]
I still can’t believe what I am doing. Looking for help in the Internet? In the past I’d probably just laugh at such a stupid idea. Instead, I’m here telling you how hopeless my life has become and how hard I’d just like to have a forever rest from everything. I wish I could not live. Who asked me if I wanted to live? I was just born. That’s not fair. Well, anyway, I just want to say hi to everyone. I’ve read many of your posts as I’ve been considering this step for a long time and finally I’m here. I’m impressed by your […]
I used to be happy. I used to be full of joy. I used to be bursting with life. What happened? What made me feel this way, living with so much hate and emptiness? I’m an average person with nice friends, a caring family, and an endless amount of love in their heart, right? Wrong. That’s what people think about me, that’s what people believe that I am. Sadly, they don’t know the real me. In reality, I’m a wreck. I have had depression for a month, suffer from anxiety attacks, and lack motivation, not to mention the constant emptiness I feel. I recently started […]
Not really sure why I’m doing this, I stumbled across this site to let family and friends know if something was to happen. Coming here I’ve read a lot of people’s personal struggles, and my heart goes out to you all, and to you FUCKS out there with your perfect lives, well you can chew on this, cause if anyone can go through what I have and not think about putting a fuckin hole through the back of your head, well you’re definitely a better man than me, so here it goes. Not gonna bother with my miserable childhood, I’ll just say my pops isn’t […]
This is my first post on this website and I’m not usually the type of person who does that but I have no one left in my life to talk to so I guess I’m turning to you guys…. Anyways, the past few months have been pretty hard I went on an exchange in Italy which turned out to be the worst experience of my life because the family I stayed with was yelling at me and insulting me the whole time… So I came back home way earlier than I should have and that’s where everything started. This exchange completely destroyed me I had […]
I know I’m not exactly the most popular, the most interesting, the most insightful, or the most helpful. I know I don’t always post that often. I just wanted to thank everyone in the community for always being kind and considerate of me and thank those of you who read my posts, especially the ones that are so long they’re practically a novel. And thank everyone for their sharing themselves on this site and making me realize I’m not alone in this. I’m glad I have a place where I can share my feelings openly with people who can relate a little better than most. […]
i’m new. to the site, at least, not to being suicidal. but i like writing and i was told once i should get more people to read it, so thought maybe this would be a good place to put this?
I breathe with the beating of my heart and lose it all so easily,
something of some significance slipping through my fingers.
Farewell, goodbye, good riddance, freedom and fear follow suit;
I’m gone, I’m gone, I’m gone.
it’s short but it’s here.
has become more complicated. Face-to-face communication used to be vital, but now we can live our lives being online all day.
However, the truth of the matter is, we still need to see each other’s faces, read their expressions, hear their voices, so we can fully understand their emotions.
How many times have I heard that a suicidal person is selfish if he/she kills him/her self? That makes me so angry, because I know the pain, the years of unending pain, that leads one to attempt suicide. When I hear things like “you’ve hurt so many people who care about you,” I want to scream “what about a pain that drives me to want to die.” Doesn’t that mean anything!
Does anyone else on this site relate? I’d like to read your input.
I was just reading “I Was Here” and they talked about this website. It introduced me to it and honestly: I’m glad.
Safe place to talk? YES PLEASE!
Safe place to talk WITHOUT JUDGEMNT? I wish I found a place like that before now.
Ive read some posts you all have made and I know I belong here, which is sad. It makes me sad that we’re sad. Why is happiness so hard to find? Can’t it be as easy as it used to be? What happened to the world that suicide rates and depression/anxiety rates have increased dramatically? But a slightly more important question I personally should […]