I have an amazing beautifal sweet caring loving girl. She’s psychologically sound and cant understand my plight. As i was doing so good for a while. I had a job making 32 bucks an hour 64 on weekends and i threw it all away for no other reason then i didnt like it and hated the boss. I sometimes wonder if having a girl who’s been where im at would be any different? One who understands me. From experiance. Like we could help each other . My girl is too normal as wierd as that sounds and i feel like shit sayin it
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
4 comments
You shouldn’t feel bad about saying it. Right here is the problem: “She’s psychologically sound and cant understand my plight.”
There are some psychologically sound people who are empathetic enough to understand. For example, you don’t have to be deaf to understand how hard life is for deaf people. But for some reason (I guess because society says it’s “crazy”) nobody sees mental disease as a real problem.
I’ve had a few promising relationships with “amazing beautifal sweet caring loving” people, but they always fall short in this department. All but one, but that’s over for other reasons. Anyway, I think now is the time for you to challenge her and see if she is capable of understanding, or at least spending some time learning about your issues. If not… I hate to be overly gloomy, but my experience says it’ll eventually get to a point where you both suffer. Have you sat down with her and tried to explain your situation yet?
thanks. and yes ive tried to explain it to her and i believe she understands “to a point” she thinks that someday ill be good “normal” again she goes into a denial thing. she keeps it bottled up and i try to tell her how bad it really is i men suicidal ideation and stuff and i can see it kills her to hear it but its the truth ya know. and shes young 24. she has a life to live as well weve been together 4 years and theres been some great times. ill never feel the same about another girl ……. but…. i feel shes seen the best of me and my disease has progressed now to the point where ivelost that guy hes gone and the man i am now needs help a lot of help and i really dont know for sure but i feel shed be better off without me but i also know shed have a breakdown of her own shes in love with me and i her and its really difficult .
You’re describing my situation so much it’s scary. You even used the exact words I would use: “she understands ‘to a point’ she thinks someday I’ll be good “normal” again she goes into a denial thing.”
I don’t know. In my case I feel like it’s heading for disaster. We ignore it for a while until I just can’t take being phony anymore and then we usually have a fight because she thinks I should just go to a doctor and get the problem fixed. Like a busted fuel pump or something.
Each time we fight I build a thicker wall around myself. So even though we go back to the “happy times”, it’s more of a phony me each time.
But there’s this stupid thing called “love” that keeps people together even though they are so different. So I would never tell you to walk away. Just like I can’t.
Maybe the answer is to keep building that wall. And for the real dark times when you can’t pretend anymore, find some place where you can be alone. Sorry for the sucky advice, but I guess that’s why we’re all hurting.
This post was really hard to read. I left, and am currently in the abyss. I don’t know what the future holds, and I’d say she’s on my mind every 5 seconds in the least. Honest: Given the chance go back, I probably would.
It’s really hard to spend half your life with someone, then trying to live as if you aren’t missing an appendage when they’re gone.
@david: How long have you guys been together?